Page 37 of Ony If It’s You
“Shots?” Jasmine asked as she flagged down the waitress.
Everyone agreed, but I declined.
“No?” my grandmother quizzed. “I’ve never known to turn down a drink, Lani.”
My eyes darted to Ms. Phyllis’s and Celeste’s before landing on hers again.
“Yeah, I know, I just.” I tap danced with the option of lying, but one thing about Jean James, she could see right through bullshit. “I’m pregnant,” I blurted out.
Confusion surfaced on her face before her eyes lit up with joy.
“Pregnant? And you didn’t tell me?”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I shook my head. This baby had my emotions going haywire and me crying about everything. There wasn’t a real reason why I hadn’t told my grandmother other than being afraid of what she might say.
“Why not?” She’d made her way to the seat that Celeste had abandoned next to me.
“I don’t know.” I sniffled and shrugged. “I just didn’t want you to be mad or disappointed in me.”
“Disappoint—oh, Lani, baby, I could never be disappointed in you. Since you were a small girl, you’ve done nothing but make me proud.
No matter what obstacles life has thrown your way, you’ve overcome them.
I’m nothing short of proud of you. Plus, you’re married; there is nothing I can say about you having a baby with your husband. ”
I was smiling as I wiped my tears and looking at her. My granny had a way of bringing out all of my emotions.
“Congratulations, baby.” She beamed.
“Yes! Congratulations, boss lady!” Jas shouted holding her shot glass in the air along with everyone else that had a drink in their hands. “To a growing business and a growing family. Salud!”
“Salud!” everyone said in unison.
I laughed and thanked them. Our food arrived shortly after, so my granny went back to her original seat then we all ate as we engaged in small talk.
The vibes were good and the day was perfect.
I couldn’t ask for better people to be in my life.
It really made me think back to Cheryl telling me that Javyous and I could be the opportunity of a lifetime. That was truly an understatement.
When we were done eating, everyone was sitting around talking and still drinking.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom. After relieving myself, I washed my hands then looked in the mirror.
The day had been extremely overwhelming even though only good things had taken place.
I needed a second to just relax and release.
“Everything okay?” Ms. Phyllis asked, startling me. “I’m sorry.”
I turned still clutching my imaginary pearls, but with a smile on my face.
“No, it’s fine, you just scared me a little. I’m okay though. I’m just a little anxious and emotional. Today has been eventful.”
“That it has been,” she agreed and chuckled. “I know we haven’t known one another for too long, but I’m really proud of you and happy for you. I also want to thank you.”
“Thank me?” I asked confused. “Thank me for what?”
Her smile was warm and comforting. “For making my son happy.”
Her mouth slammed shut afterward. I could tell that was not what she’d wanted to say.
My eyes had to be the size of golf balls as I looked at her.
She was his fucking mother? What in the entire fuck?
No wonder she interacted with him the way that she did.
She always so willing, eager, and comfortable with him.
Any time he called, she came running. How she was with him as a child, it just all made sense now.
“Kehlani, shit.” She started to pace with the palm of her hand pressed into her forehead. “Don’t say anything. You can’t.”
There was so much panic in her voice that it was alarming.
She was scared.
“I-I won’t.” I shook my head and grabbed her hand to stop her pacing. “But why won’t you? Why haven’t you?”
“It’s complicated,” she admitted. She was now crying.
I didn’t know if it was because she let it slip that she was JV’s mother or because of the reason she hadn’t actually told him.
Either way I could see the conflict and sadness in her eyes, but she also looked kind of relieved.
She was always so tense, but now she looked a lot lighter.
Once she’d gotten herself together a little bit, she gave me insight on why she hadn’t said anything to JV and why she had been in the position she was in all of his life. I was in complete shock and disgust as I listened. JV’s father was a pig!
“Wow,” I said in disbelief and because I honestly didn’t know what else to say.
My heart went out to Ms. Phyllis because not only was it was a heartfelt story, but we both knew that JV wouldn’t be as understanding as I was if and when he found out.
“I know.” She sighed. “But you have to promise me, Kehlani, that you will keep this between us. I need to be the one to tell him.”
“Yeah, sure.” I nodded. “I promise.”
She gave me a smile that didn’t meet her eyes and pulled me into a tight hug.
“Thank you so much.”
She seemed kind of relieved after the promise, but not me. I was conflicted and stressed now. She had dropped a big bomb on me and I was even more stressed about making sure not to mention it to JV.
“We’d better get back out there. We’ve been in here a long time,” she suggested.
“Ye-yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.” I nodded and tossed my paper towel into the trashcan before walking out of the door she was holding open.
I fought hard to get myself together on the way back to the table. I didn’t want Celeste or my grandmother to question me. They both had the ability to read me and I couldn’t tell them what I had just learned.
God be with me.