Page 22

22

Spencer

T he dynamic in my house has shifted—my very small house, which is never quiet, and I’m rarely alone.

There are times when I need solitude, and they understand when I take Gage into my bedroom and lock the door. A hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender relaxes me and helps calm the environment around me.

There has been no further sexual activity in my house. Well, none that has involved me. I wake up most mornings with Lincoln smashed to my body and Miller behind him. Every night they crawl into my bed makes me want to tell them to leave, but I know, come morning, when I awake from a dreamless night’s sleep, I’m thankful. Something about not sleeping alone takes the nightmares away, and after years of little to no sleep at night, my body feels more relaxed and at ease than it has since my teenage years.

Axel is returning from work when we’re leaving but on the nights he’s off my threesome in bed becomes a tight foursome.

Tucker has never spent the night. He comes over mornings or afternoons in between work. Running a successful club takes up a lot of his time. Of all the men, he’s the most affectionate. He doesn’t shy away from showing how he feels with small touches and caresses.

Katy has been here a few weeks and is thriving. I’m a bit nervous as Miller and I start our month of night shifts in a few days. With Justin still being out on leave, switching shifts wasn’t an option, but I tried.

There have been no more appearances or sightings of Shane, but I won’t be lulled into a false sense of security. I haven’t lived my life on high alert all these years to let my guard down because there are more bodies here. The increased presence of people that are important in my life has heightened my awareness.

One of the most challenging conversations I’ve ever had, apart from telling my father about Shane, was telling Katy about him. We all sat down and discussed precautions. It was hard for me to give up part of myself, but everyone now knows the codes to get in and out of my house, as well as the location of all nine of my guns.

When I left Shane, I expected him to come after me. I didn’t know if he thought he had killed me and left me for dead at the bottom of the stairs or just our unborn child.

I waited and held my breath. I saw him in every man who walked past me for the better part of a year. My fascination with guns came from my therapist, who told me to try and find a hobby. Collecting and maintaining firearms wasn’t quite what she meant, but it was something that I had complete control over. There’s no gray area, only black and white.

My father later told me he drove to my old house and threatened Shane. I don’t know what he told him, but I thought he had left me alone—at least until my father saw him parked down the road and I saw the pictures he left. He’s been watching me. For a while. I had to warn Justin and Nicole as well since there were pictures that included them. Justin is aware of my past, and everyone is being extra vigilant.

Lincoln and Tucker have agreed to stay with Katy while Axel, Miller, and I are on night shifts. I trust them implicitly, but I’m still on edge. Night shifts have never bothered me, but I’ve also never had another human being to worry about while I’m not here.

“Little Miss. Katy is going to be fine.” Tucker runs an understanding hand down my arm, and the goosebumps that appear aren’t from discomfort.

“You’ve never spent a night here before. Are you sure this is something you want to commit to?” I’m still unsure where Tucker fits into this strange family we’ve created, but he seems unphased by everything happening.

“I’m here for you and Katy. You’ve got a cop and a country boy here to watch over her.”

I explained to him our unique relationship with the feisty teenager and the trauma she went through. He fell easily into his role as another protector.

“Come here.” Tucker pulls me into his chest, giving me a unique hug that is individual to him.

“You ready, Smithy?” Miller exits my room with a wet mop of hair, smelling clean and spicy from his body wash. He sees me in Tucker’s arms and immediately understands what’s happening. “Katy is in good hands. There’s no need to worry.”

“Yeah, Mom . I’ll be fine.” Mom. That’s the one thing we didn’t tell Katy about. She didn’t need to know all of the traumatic details of my past—only ones that directly affect us now.

Tucker’s hold increases around me when he feels my body stiffen from her innocent words.

“Back to your pre-calc, Katy.” Lincoln, sitting next to her on the couch, attempts to redirect Katy’s attention to their task. He seems to be a math wiz and enjoys helping her with homework.

“She meant nothing by it.” Miller’s warm body heats my back as he whispers in my ear. They envelop me in their joint embrace, radiating their strength. “It was just harmless teasing.”

“I know. Thank you.” I’ve never had anyone in my life so attuned with my emotions. Justin has always understood me more than anyone, but there were still things I kept masked away. I don’t know what it is about these four men. Even on my best days, when I think I’m hiding a particular feeling or a bad memory, one of them sees it. They don’t allow me to hide. I both love and hate it.

“I’m ready, Miller.” With reluctance, both men let me go, and while I feel their absence, I feel their lingering strength more. “Lock the doors and arm the security system. Don’t open the door for anyone. If someone knocks, they don’t belong here. Everyone who needs it has the codes to get in. Gage’s German commands are written on the note attached to the refrigerator.” As I’m rambling, Lincoln joins us in the kitchen.

“Dream Girl, your feelings are valid, and we hear you. We will protect Katy at all costs, no matter what. I promise.” Lincoln rubs his thumbs across my cheeks and kisses my forehead. I know if Axel weren’t already at work, he’d be right here in this mini-huddle with us.

Miller threads his fingers into mine and smiles.

“Okay. I’ve got the girl. Give me the kisses, and don’t make us late.” Miller leans toward Lincoln, making kissy lips. Shocking myself and him, I lean in and steal the kiss from him.

There’s a moment of pause as he acclimates to lips he wasn’t expecting. When he kisses me back, I realize how much I miss the connection between us. It’s easy for me to compartmentalize my emotions when I need to, and I’ve done my best to contain the lust I have for these men.

I can’t process everything they make me feel all at once without feeling overwhelmed. It’s not them that overwhelms me. I won’t even say it’s the emotions themselves that do it. The magnitude at which I feel for them is what tries to overpower me.

“Dream Girl, are you going to let me say goodbye to my man before you steal him away for the night?” Miller laughs into my lips as he slows the kiss.

“That was unexpected, Smithy.”

“Should I not do it again?” Miller grabs me around the waist and pulls me into him so I can feel the effect of our kiss against my stomach.

“You can kiss me anytime you want.” His boyish grin lights up his face.

“Except right now because he’s mine.” Lincoln pulls Miller away and locks their lips together.

“Can I get a goodbye kiss like that, Little Miss?” I turn to see Tucker running his hand over his beard with anticipation in his eyes. He’s older than the others by at least ten years. His hat usually hides the salt and pepper streaks along his temples, but as he’s gotten more comfortable here, he’s been hanging it up in the foyer when he comes in.

“I didn’t offer. I took what I wanted.”

“Ah, I see.” Seconds later, I’m dipped back in a soul-shattering kiss that has my heartbeat whooshing through my ears. Tucker pulls me upright, and I sway in his arms from the quick movement. “Have a wonderful evening at work.”

“Since we’re taking what we want…” Once again, I’m pulled into a firm chest, and Lincoln’s lips devour mine. My head spins from the lust engulfing the room.

“Is it too late to take back my love is love speech?!” Katy makes gagging sounds from her spot on the couch.

“Don’t be a brat, Cupcake.”

I arch a brow at Miller. “Cupcake?”

He shrugs. “She’s obnoxiously sweet.”

“Oh my GOD. Goodbyyyyyyyye.” We all laugh at Katy’s exasperation.