Page 10

10

Spencer

A xel and Miller stay with Katy while Lincoln goes to work, and I head to Justin’s to speak with him. She was hesitant, since she knows them the least, but after talking with us, Katy decided she was comfortable enough to stay. If I hadn’t felt her comfort level, I would have asked Justin to come over or taken her with me.

I hear Miles crying from the other side of the door as I knock and wait for someone to answer. Usually, I would enter without knocking, but they have a brand new baby, and I respect Nicole’s privacy.

“Hey, Spence. Come in.” Justin looks a little worse for the wear. His usual buzzed hair and trimmed goatee are overgrown; his glasses are slightly askew on his nose, and…

“Is that vomit or poop on your shirt?”

He looks down, lifts it to his nose, and shrugs. “Both?”

“Fair. Where’s my goddaughter?” Justin swings his arm behind him into the house.

“She’s somewhere in there causing terror. She’s taking full advantage of Nicole and me being exhausted. She was never like this. A perfect angel baby that lulled us into a false sense of security.” As I survey the house, I pull my phone out of my pocket.

Spencer: SOS. Justin and Nicole need a break. Can one or all of you come and pick up Hannah? I’ll help with the baby. Katy might enjoy the distraction of playing with H.

Axel: On it.

Miller: The three of us are taking a field trip. See you in 15.

“Where’s my favorite niece?” I hear a giggle and the pitter-patter of lots of feet. Hannah comes running from her bedroom, followed by Nicole’s two dachshunds, Java and Beans. The two little dogs are her best friends.

“Aunt Spender!” She crashes into my legs, and I scoop her up. The affection of children has never bothered me. There was a time in my life when I wanted nothing more than to be a mother.

“Hello, sweet girl. Why are you still in your pajamas?”

“PJ day, ebery day. You like my dress?” She wiggles in my arms to show me the pajama dress she’s wearing with princesses.

“It’s beautiful but how about we change into a real dress? Do you want to go out with some friends?”

“Yes, yes. Let’s go.” I put her down before she bounces out of my arms with excitement, and she runs, clapping down the hall.

“What’s going on?” Nicole questions as Hannah flies past her. She looks even more exhausted than Justin. Her curly blond hair lacks its usual bounce and is piled high on her head. She’s wearing a loose tank top and a pair of basketball shorts that obviously belong to Justin. Miles fusses in her arms, and she bounces him on her shoulder.

“Give me the baby. Nicole, go shower. Justin, help Hannah get dressed for the day and pack her a bag.” They both open their mouths to object, and I raise a hand, stopping all protest. “You need a break, and I’m here.” Justin happily disappears to Hannah’s room.

“A shower sounds spectacular. Are you sure?” Nicole may be asking, but she’s already handing a whining Miles over to me.

“I’ve got him. Go. Shower.” She slowly backs away, and her expression is a mix of hesitation and relief. “Go, Nicole.” She spins and leaves the room, and I swear I see her skip.

When Justin returns with a smiling Hannah, happily dressed in a purple twirly dress, he’s shocked at what he sees.

“What did you do to my son?” I quickly look down, wondering what’s wrong. “He’s quiet.” Miles is asleep in my arms, and I don’t understand Justin’s reaction.

“Is that a problem? Should he not be sleeping?” Panic washes over Justin’s face as I try to stand.

“No. Don’t move.” His arms fly up in an attempt to stop me.

“Okay. I don’t understand what’s going on.” Justin sits beside me on the couch and slumps back into the cushions with a sigh. I’m waiting for an answer when his eyes flutter shut. I’m more confused than before.

“Brudder noisey. Daddy seepy.” Hannah covers her ears to show me what she means, then points at Justin, who has fallen asleep. I think I understand Justin’s shocked expression.

“Is he? He’s sleeping right now, though. They both are. Brother and Daddy are sleeping. Are you ready to go out? Did Daddy pack your backpack?” She nods and runs around the couch. I hear her footsteps leave and then return. She reappears with a sparkly unicorn backpack and a toothy smile.

“I ready!”

Spencer: Text me when you get here. Everyone is sleeping.

Miller: thumbs up emoji

What is the point of an emoji as a response?

I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see a similar shocked face on a freshly showered Nicole.

“You’re a baby whisperer, Spencer. How?” Her question is so simple and innocent. She had no idea the pain it causes me to think about the how and the why.

My phone buzzes in my hand, and it’s a text from Axel telling me they are here.

“Tweedledee and Tweedledum are here to take Hannah out for a while. They just pulled in.” Nicole turns to look at the door and then back at me.

“Um, who?”

“Miller and Axel. And Katy is with them. I thought you two could use a break.” I tip my head to Justin, who’s fast asleep beside me. She chuckles as if she hadn’t even noticed him there. “Will you walk Hannah out and get them settled with a car seat? Then you can go take a nap yourself.”

“Yes, oh god, yes. You’re a freaking saint, Spencer.”

Axel: Package has been procured. Have fun, Auntie Tails.

Spencer: Treat both of them like precious cargo.

Miller: Wouldn’t imagine any other way.

Nicole instructs me where the formula and diapers are and wakes Justin from his comatose state so he can nap in their bedroom.

“I’ve got him. Take a long nap and refresh.” Their smiles show all the appreciation I need.

Exhaustion is an emotion I can easily read without the obvious external signs. I’ve been emotionally exhausted, but on the outside, you’d never know.

One hour. Every nerve in my body is frayed but simultaneously on high alert. I have one hour before Shane gets home from work. The pot roast is in the crock pot. His uniform is clean and pressed for tomorrow. There’s a new six-pack in the refrigerator. The house is clean, as always. There isn’t anything that he could be upset about.

I stare at the black gift bag with the white tissue paper popping out of it, nervous and excited to show him what we’ve finally been waiting for. It took longer than we expected, and every month, Shane would get angry, telling me I wasn’t trying hard enough or I was eating the wrong foods. I needed to gain weight. Lose weight. I shouldn’t sit on my ass so much. I work out too hard.

It doesn’t matter anymore. I did it. I’m pregnant.

Miles stirs in my arms, and I realize it’s been over two hours since everyone separated. I adjust him and find he’s awake and looking around. His navy blue eyes find mine, and he coos.

“Thank you for pulling me out of that memory, little boy.” Checking my phone as I make my way to the kitchen, I texted the group chat with Miller and Axel to see how their outing is going.

Axel: image She’s spoiled rotten.

Spencer: I wonder who made her that way?

Miller: Must be Lincoln ;)

I examine the picture of Hannah and Katy eating ice cream at my kitchen counter. Katy is still wearing one of the guy’s oversize shirts, and I feel guilty that she wasn’t our first priority. I came over here to talk with Justin about a plan, and the state of my friends had me changing my focus.

Axel: How’s everything over there?

Spencer: Mom and Dad are still sleeping, and Miles is about to eat.

I finish preparing the bottle I was making and leave it on the counter to change his diaper.

Miller: When should we bring the rugrat back?

Spencer: Give them another hour and then head back this way.

Miller: 10-4 Smithy.

With a clean diaper and a full stomach, Miles lays content in my arms when Justin rounds the couch, looking more refreshed and awake than I last saw him.

“I’m sorry I slept for so long. Is everyone okay?” He sits beside me on the couch and runs a finger across Miles’ cheek. “I want to know your secret, Spence. He must hate us.”

“Hannah should be back in the next thirty or so minutes. They sugared her up. I’d say I’m surprised, but it would be a lie. Miles is an angel.”

“You’re a natural, Spencer.” I pass him off to Justin before he can gush at me further.

“I have to take Katy back to her mother’s. At the very least, she needs clothes.”

“I’m coming with you. I won’t let you see that evil woman alone, Spencer. She doesn’t care about Katy.”

“I expected as much.”

“You’ve got something on your mind, Spence. What’s going on?” He’s right. I do. I realize the gravity of what I’m about to say to him and how much responsibility I’m taking on.

“I was doing research. Did you know that in Chicago, the age of consent to move out is sixteen? Katy is sixteen. If her mother is as terrible as you both say she is…” I watch the myriad of emotions on Justin’s face that my pause has caused. He looks around the room, and I see the panic before I finish my thought. “Justin, I’m asking for me, not you.” The panic changes to confusion.

“I don’t understand exactly what you’re saying.”

“I’m saying, what if Katy stayed with me? I know you’d bend over backward for her, but you have a brand new baby and a headstrong toddler. I have a spare room and three men who are apparently as enamored by her as you are. They slept over last night.”

“Okay. Wait. That was a lot of information to unpack all at once. I’m going to start with the most shocking things that you said. Three men? Who’s the third?”

“Axel, Miller, and Lincoln.”

“Our old dispatcher Lincoln? Brother to the guy, you had your tongue down his throat, Lincoln? I didn’t know you knew him like that.”

“I don’t. He’s Katy’s resource officer at her high school, and Axel’s friend. Axel called him to help yesterday.” I can see the connections he’s making in his mind.

“Okay. That makes sense. And Miller? Where does he play into all of this?”

“Axel called him to bring them clothes last night…and they all stayed.”

“Spill it, Spencer.” I hate having a best friend sometimes. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. It wasn’t my decision to let them all stay, but I didn’t object, so in a way, that was my decision.

“Katy has taken to Lincoln. He seems to be her safety net right now. She didn’t want to sleep alone, so I offered her to sleep with me. She invited Lincoln to join us.” If his eyes didn’t already convey his shock, his wide-open mouth says it all.

“I’m sorry. Who is this woman sitting next to me? This must be a body double. Where are you hiding my grumpy, leave me alone, best friend?”

My phone dings with a motion alert, and I see Miller’s truck backing out of the driveway.

“They’re on their way with Hannah.”

“Don’t change the subject. There’s more you aren’t telling me.”

“When I woke up, Katy was gone, and Lincoln was…cuddling me. Did you know that Lincoln and Miller are together?”

“Woman, you need to stop burying the lead. Lincoln and Miller are together ? I had no idea Miller swung that way. And cuddling? Did you freak out?”

I didn’t freak out, and that’s the biggest shock. Touching isn’t necessarily a big aversion for me, but I don’t like to be surprised. I don’t mind a hug that doesn’t linger too long. Handshakes are my preference because I like to get a feel for someone’s personality by the force of their grip. But I woke up with Lincoln at my side, and then he draped himself across me and…

“He dry-humped my leg in his sleep.”

Justin stands and paces, cradling Miles in his arms.

“That’s it. My heart can’t take anymore, Spencer. Is there anything else shocking that I need to know?” My phone buzzes with another motion notification, but I ignore it. They must have forgotten something at my house.

“I don’t think so.”

“So then, what’s the plan for Katy?”

“My thought is we ask her mother if we can take Katy off her hands. Convince her that she doesn’t need the extra mouth to feed. Hopefully, she agrees, and we can pack up her stuff, and Katy can stay with me. The rest we can figure out as we go. I may need to talk to the chief about getting a permanent schedule instead of a rotating one, but one step at a time.”

“If Katy’s mom doesn’t agree?” This is the part I don’t like. I don’t know much about Katy’s mother other than she’s a neglectful waste of space when it comes to motherhood.

“Money talks to people like her. Do you think she’ll let her go willingly if we throw money at her?”

“I’ll help you with however much you need, Spence.” That’s not what I was asking.

“Justin, I wasn’t—”

“I know, I’m offering. You know money doesn’t mean anything to me, and if I can help get Katy away from that woman, I’ll do whatever it takes. Are you sure you want her to stay with you? We have room here.”

“And you have your hands full. I can take care of her.”

Justin’s phone buzzes, notifying him of motion in front of his house. They must be here. A quiet knock sounds on the door when Justin is halfway there. When he opens the door, Hannah is standing very seriously saying random numbers, trying to convince the guys which ones to punch into the keypad at the door.

“Daddy!”