Page 63 of My Sweetest Agony

I squirm under her assessment, as if she can somehow see the fact that I did something very wrong and very stupid with him less than twelve hours ago.

Very wrong.

Very stupid.

I swallow my nerves and force myself to take a bite of the chicken salad she prepared. Chewing slowly, I watch her watch me until I swallow and take a sip of my lemonade, but the citrusy scent only reminds me of Cam’s, tightening my stomach uncomfortably. “It’s good.”

She smirks in a way that’s so similar to her sons that I can see where they learned it. “You don’t have to lie to me, Ivy. We’ve known each other long enough that I don’t think you need to.”

A tiny bit of tension releases from my shoulders and gut, and I offer her a real smile this time.

Because she’s right.

I push my plate away and rest my hands on my lap so I don’t fidget, something she would definitely notice, too, because I haven’t been nervous around Nancy since the first time we met at her birthday party right here in this house. And one minute with this woman showed me exactly how Drew turned into such an incredible man—because he had a mother like her.

Kind.

Intelligent.

Strong.

Confident.

Dedicated.

Unrelenting in her focus to give her children a good life.

Between losing their father and fighting cancer, Nancy has had her share of hardships, but she’s managed to weather each storm and come out stronger on the other side.

I’d love to know her secret.

Because right now, it feels like I’m failing.

And like she can see right through me the same way Cam seems to.

She takes a few more bites of her own meal and pushes her plate away, wrapping her hands around her glass. “I’m glad you could come join me for lunch today.”

“Me, too.”

I smile at her, but I can see the inky circles under her eyes, the lines around her mouth. She isn’t sleeping, so maybe she isn’t dealing with Drew’s death as well as she makes out she is.

If she knew Cam was here…

My chest tightens, guilt slithering through me like a venomous snake releasing its poison. Because last night, after crying more tears than I knew possible, I passed out securely in Cam’s arms, and got what was probably the most sleep I’ve managed in almost two months.

Don’t think about why that might be…

I’d love to believe it’s because I finally spread Drew’s ashes, finally got that release as opposed to the one Cam gave me, but the way my body heats at the memory of his touch. How he played me like a goddamn guitar, his fingers moving over me expertly, working me up and making me explode with the kind of pleasure and escape from reality I so desperately needed in that moment…

Nancy narrows her eyes on me. “Are you feeling okay?”

Shit.

That heat spreads across my cheeks, and the poor woman probably thinks I’m about to pass out or something. I nod. “Yeah. I’m good. I promise.”

She leans back in her chair, looking at me in a way that tells me she doesn’t quite buy it. Those same assessing eyes Drew and Cam inherited roam over me. “You don’t look like you’ve been eating or sleeping.”

Or hiding it well, apparently.