Page 21 of My Sweetest Agony

I should let him work through his grief in his own way.

I should give him space.

All those things make sense in my head, but my chest aches, seeing how devastated he looks, how tightly he grips that frame.

Another tiny chip of the anger I’ve felt toward him breaks off, and I allow it to melt away. I’ve spent weeks angry at Drew, angry at myself, angry at God and the world. Staying mad at Cam won’t change anything or make me feel any better. It won’t bring back what I’ve lost. All it will do is sour my soul even more and bring me more grief.

So, it’s impossible to walk away.

Even if I should.

My bare feet carry me into the office instead of to the bedroom. “Are you all right?”

His head whips to the side at the sound of my voice, and he quickly reaches up and swipes away the tear before he clears his throat and offers me a sad smile. “Yeah. I…” He releases a pained sigh, then turns the frame toward me. “I had forgotten about this.”

I slowly make my way over to the couch and lower myself onto the cushion next to him as he slides the frame into my hands.

The document encased under the glass bears a rainbow with a shooting star above it. And Camden’s name. Not Drew’s. And it certifies him as a “rising star.”

I raise a brow at him. “Rising Star?”

Cam offers an almost sheepish half-grin, running a hand across the back of his head as he watches me read the rest of the certificate that contains the name of a school and a date thirty years ago. “I got that in kindergarten.”

The corners of my lips start to curl up as I picture him and Drew, two little dark heads of hair, going off to the first day of school together, dressed identically. I’ve seen the photos at Nancy’s home, but I never knew the other half of the matching smiles until now.

“Why’d you give it to him?”

He smirks. “Because I was being an asshole.”

I laugh, but he shakes his head.

“No, I’m serious. I gave it to him as a high school graduation gift.”

“Why?”

Cam thinks about it for a minute, his lips twisting slightly as he examines the certificate. “You know he was valedictorian, right?”

I nod and motion to one of the plaques hanging behind his desk. “He was proud of that.”

Drew always worked so hard.

Took such pride in his achievements while never lording them over anyone.

He saw each one as a step in a process that would ultimately lead to him becoming a doctor. A way for him to help people. Save them.

Cam snorts. “Don’t I know it. I got a little sick of him constantly bringing it up, considering I barely passed half my classes and almost didn’t graduate. So, I wrapped this up and gave it to him. Told him that he may be valedictorian, but he will never be a rising star like I was.”

I bark out a laugh that startles even me and press my hand over my mouth to try to hold in my laughter. But it keeps bubbling up out of me, the sound foreign, something I barely recognize. “Oh, my God, you are an asshole.”

He snorts and nods. “I wasn’t joking.”

“Apparently not.”

“But he kept it.” He sighs wistfully and takes it back from my hand, brushing his fingers across it. More tears shimmer in his eyes, but he somehow keeps them at bay. The corners of his mouth tip up. “He kept it, but I noticed he didn’t give it a spot of honor up there with his medical degree.”

I snort-laugh and slap my hand over my mouth again. “I’m sorry. I guess I just haven’t laughed in a really long time.”

Five weeks.