Page 51 of My Sweetest Agony

The road’s almost entirely deserted, as the highway was for most of our trip, and by the time we pull up to Strathmere Beach and I lift my head to scan our surroundings, it’s a ghost town. No one on the streets or sidewalks. No one on the sand. The rumbling of the engine as we pull into the tiny beach town seems to echo off all the concrete, combining with the rushing of the waves only steps away.

And it’s stunning.

Clouds billow in the sky, threatening another summer storm, but the moon peeks out from behind them, doing its best to break through and illuminate the night.

Cam pulls to a stop near one of the beach entrances and kills the engine, knocking down the kickstand. The sudden change from flying to coming back to Earth makes my head spin momentarily. But the smell of the ocean and the peacefulness of the night settle over me quickly.

He tugs off his helmet and hangs it from the handlebar, then glances over his shoulder at me. “You good?”

I nod, releasing a long, steady breath. “Yeah, that was…”

The corner of his lips curls as he offers me his hand to assist me off the bike. I gladly accept it, and the second I get on my feet, I wobble. His other hand shoots out to grasp my hip, keeping me steady.

He smirks, amusement dancing across his eyes. “It can be a little hard on the legs the first time.”

They feel like Jell-O underneath me, still vibrating from the feel of the engine between them and the thrill the ride gave me. “You’re not kidding.”

He grins as he climbs off while still managing to keep one hand on me to keep me from face-planting onto the pavement. “Just give yourself a minute. You’ll be fine.” His gaze flicks up to my helmet. “Let’s get this off.”

I reach back and grab the seat to keep myself steady as his fingers slide to the buckle under my chin and unstrap it.

He tugs it off my head and examines me, tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear with so much tenderness that my chest aches. His scrutinizing gaze scans my face like he’s looking for more than only if I physically survived my first ride. “You sure you’re good?”

Am I?

My legs don’t tremble as badly, and I slowly release my death grip on the seat to fully support my weight on them. But that isn’t really what he’s asking. I nod regardless, unwilling to give up the last vestiges of that flying feeling to have to focus on the task in front of us. “Yeah.”

That was exhilarating.

A rush I never thought I would feel.

With how Drew always talked about motorcycles being absolute death traps, I probably never would have climbed on one if it weren’t for Cam. Never would have gotten to experience that.

The way my heart seemed to beat in time with the motor and his under my hands, the way the wind whipped around us, blowing away all my thoughts and letting me just be.

Drew didn’t know what he was missing…

But Cam managed to give it to me—and him.

A final farewell ride.

Cam retreats and hangs my helmet on the other handlebar, then opens the saddlebag and pulls out the box with shaking hands. All those magical feelings that overwhelmed me during our ride here vaporize the instant my eyes land on it.

Something lodges in my throat, making it difficult to swallow.

A vise tightens around my chest.

The legs I was so sure were stable now start to tremble again.

That strength I was so sure I had to follow through with what we’re about to do vanishes as quickly as the tide washes away a grain of sand from the shore.

And I’m tumbling again.

Down.

Down.

Down.