Page 59 of My Sweetest Agony

All of it.

My grief.

The gut-wrenching sorrow I feel every day.

And the gaping hole in my chest where Drew once was.

He’s the only one who can.

This buzzing need to experience anything but pain that I’ve felt for almost two months claws at my soul, twists in my gut, vibrates through every nerve in my body as I stare at the man who looks so much like Drew but is so fucking different.

Darker.

Harder.

Full of secrets.

Tortured and tormented in a way I may never fully comprehend.

But he’s been here for me since the moment he arrived on my doorstep.

Worrying about me.

Taking care of me.

Giving me a shoulder to lean on, to cry on.

Offering me strength when I didn’t think I had it, even when he’s dealing with his own issues, his own struggles and pain that terrorize him so severely.

A tear trickles down his cheek, and I reach a shaky hand to wipe it away.

My fingers drift over his stubbled cheek and down along his strong jawline.

I brush my thumb over his lips, and he shudders under me.

His eyes stay locked with mine, his gaze hooded and filled with a thousand warring emotions I share.

“Cam…” My voice comes out uneven, as shaky and restless as my body feels. “I…”

I don’t even know what I’m trying to say. Don’t understand why I can’t seem to look away from him. Why my body heats the longer he holds my gaze.

All I know is I don’t want to look away.

I shift on his lap, sliding my thigh across his so I can face him fully.

So I can really look at him.

A dubious darkness crosses his eyes as he stares at me, but it does nothing to dim their vibrancy or striking beauty. They churn like the waves on the beach tonight. Tumultuous. Dangerous. Yet they somehow draw me in, make me want to dive headlong into their depths even without knowing what truly may lurk there.

His jaw tightens beneath the stubble covering it, and he lifts one hand to settle it on my hip.

Heat seeps from his palm to my skin.

And a warning plays in my head.

Don’t.

The way Cam looks at me is saying the same thing.