Page 9 of Mutual Obsession (Rivals of Blackthorn #2)

J ake walks into the staff room and finds me in the middle of my meltdown. I don’t know how long I’ve been pacing around the small room like a caged animal, pulling at my hair in frustration. My brain is racing quicker than I can keep up, and tears stream down my cheeks as I sob uncontrollably.

I’m more than panicking, and I can’t catch my breath. I’m aware when he walks into the room, but I don’t stop. I don't think I can really hear what he’s saying, as the noise in my head is too loud to even process it.

He stands in front of me, stopping my pacing, and when I try to turn to go in another direction, he quickly reaches up and grabs hold of my hands, gently prying my hair out of my fists.

After placing my hands by my side, he gently lays his palms against my cheeks, using his thumb to wipe away my tears. With a firm hold on me, he forces me to look at him, and it’s just enough to cut through the noise in my head.

“Breathe, Indie. You need to calm down, so breathe with me,” Jake says, emphasising his breathing for me to mimic.

I try to follow him, but the voices in my head get louder, and I scrunch my eyes closed as the fear twists away at my insides.

Jake takes hold of one of my hands and places it onto his chest, with his palm resting over the top. He continues to swipe his other thumb across my cheek in an incredibly sweet gesture.

“Feel my heartbeat and the way I’m breathing, and try to match it, Indie. Take a big, deep breath in…then let it out. Keep going.”

I follow his instructions, focusing on the beat of his heart, and the rise and fall of his chest, instead of the noise inside my head. Each breath gets a little easier, and soon I can hear his words of praise and reassurance as the loudness in my brain finally quietens down.

As my panic recedes and my sobs slow, all that remains are the tears tracking down my cheeks. My heart and breathing begin to sync with Jake’s, and I feel calmer than I have in a long time.

“Good girl.” As soon as I hear him praise me, I can’t help but smile.

“Thanks,” I reply, my voice hoarse and achy.

Jake leads me over to the sofa on the right side of the room and pulls me to sit beside him, not letting go of my hand. Our fingers are laced together, and it shocks me how comforting the gesture is.

Normally, I don’t like anyone touching me, particularly someone I don’t know very well, but there’s something about Jacob.

He’s the sort of guy that you can’t help but like.

There’s a kindness to him, and an almost infectious smile that draws you in.

I haven’t felt this at ease with someone since Miles, and that thought scares me.

“Do you want to talk about any of the stuff you were mumbling about when you were panicking?” Jake asks, and my eyes widen in shock.

“I was talking?” I genuinely hadn’t even realised I’d said anything in the panic, and now I’m worried I’ve said something I shouldn’t.

Jake nods, his lips pressed into a tight line. “You said that you shouldn’t have come back, that you thought Miles would be the one to finally save you after all this time, and that you never thought he’d be the person to put you in danger.”

Fuck! Clearly, my mouth was moving quicker than my brain.

I feel Jake’s penetrating gaze on me as I stare at the floor, hoping my silence will be enough of a response. He swipes his thumb across the back of my hand in slow, reassuring circles.

“You can talk to me. I promise, I won’t say anything to anyone,” Jake tells me, and I can feel how much he really means what he says.

I shake my head, still refusing to look at him, as I’m worried that if I look into those beautiful chocolate eyes, I’ll end up baring my soul, which I can’t afford to do.

With his free hand, he places his fingers under my chin and gently encourages me to lift my head until I’m looking right at him. Sure enough, those sweet eyes are staring at me with such intensity that a shiver runs down my spine.

“Okay, why don’t you start by telling me why you think—or thought—that Miles would be able to help you?”

I pull in a breath to steel my nerves, knowing I can answer this question without giving too much away. “Last time I saw Miles, he’d just finished university. I didn’t see him as anything other than a student who was looking to get a job.

“Then, recently, I was working in a club in London called Belle’s Rose, and I heard them talking about one of the rulers of Blackthorn called Marcus Morelli, and his Head of Security, Miles.

“I knew Miles had a best friend with the same name, but he never told me much about him. I had no idea he was part of this life, but when I realised it was the same Miles, it was the excuse I needed to come back.”

Jake gives me a reassuring smile as he continues to stroke the back of my hand, encouraging me to keep talking, so I do.

“I always hated how I left things, and hurting Miles is one of my biggest regrets, even though I have a very good reason for doing what I did. I thought I’d come back and find the same kind, caring boy I fell in love with that summer, and that he’d want to help me. Clearly, I was wrong.”

I know I sound more bitter than I have any right to feel, but I put a lot of hope into coming back here, into Miles, and it’s all slipping away before my eyes.

“I opened us both up to this hurt by coming back here, but I thought I was doing it for a good reason. Miles is my last chance, and it hurts that I’m not going to get the help I desperately need.

In fact, he’s going to make things even worse,” I cry, a sob catching in my throat as my emotions get the better of me once again.

Jake’s expression doesn’t change, and he continues to stare at me with those kind eyes, helping to keep me from escalating into another full-blown panic attack.

“Do you know anything about the rulers of Blackthorn?” Jake asks, throwing me with his question. Out of everything I just said, that’s what he picks up on .

“Only that Marcus Morelli is one of two rulers, and that Miles works for him. They’ve been friends since they were kids, but Miles never told me who Marcus really was. I guess he wanted to keep that side of himself from me,” I reply, hoping I don’t sound bitter.

I have no right to talk about him hiding things from me or keeping secrets, given how much I didn’t tell him, but it still hurts to know that there’s a side of his life that he didn’t trust me enough with.

“Do you know anything about the other rival family? The one who rules alongside the Morellis?” he asks, his gaze raking over me as he waits for my answer.

I shake my head. “No, I didn’t really look into it any further.”

“There are two families that run Blackthorn. To put an end to the civil war that had been raging for years, they split up the city, each ruling half. The two rulers of the families are each responsible for their own half of the town, but they work together to rule. Marcus is one ruler, and the Santoro family rule the other half,” Jake explains, biting his lip as he tries not to smile.

“Okay,” I reply, dragging the word out as I wonder what he’s getting at.

He shakes his head, an amused expression on his face. “My name is Jacob Santoro. I’m the other ruler of Blackthorn.”

My eyes widen in shock, blush spreading to my cheeks as I shake my head in embarrassment. “I didn’t know.”

Jake chuckles, his bright smile lighting up his face in a way that makes my stomach flip, and I can’t help but match his grin. “That means…Miles isn’t the only person who can help you. I can, too.”

My mouth flops open in surprise, as I hadn’t even thought of that. I’d been too busy trying to imagine this sweet, funny, happy-go-lucky guy as a tough mafia leader. I just can’t make the image in my head match, or make any sort of sense.

Jake reads into my silence, jumping to a conclusion I hadn’t even reached yet.

“I know you don’t know me yet, which means you don’t trust me.

I don’t need to know you to be able to tell that you find it hard putting your trust in people.

So I’m willing to do what it takes until you’ve gotten to know me, and you trust me enough to help you.

I’d like to start by taking you out for dinner when you finish work. ”

My heart is racing so quickly it feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. Now that he’s mentioned trust, it’s hard not to think about it. I’ve not put my trust in anyone since Miles, and I’m still recovering from letting him in. I don’t know if I can survive that again.

Jake squeezes my hand, giving me that reassuring smile, and the words tumble out of my mouth before I even think them through. “Are you only doing this to get into my knickers?”

Jake throws his head back and chuckles, his smile growing as he stares at me.

“I’m not going to lie… I think you’re beautiful, and there’s something about you that is drawing me in, but I’m more interested in being the friend you need right now.

I think I can help you, and that’s more important right now than anything else. ”

I nod like I understand, even though my mind is whirling. “So, you are attracted to me, but you’re not going to try anything?” I clarify.

“I’m not going to try anything…yet. I can’t make any promises about the future. But for right now, let’s just be friends,” he tells me with a wink that makes my stomach flutter.

“I can do that,” I say with a smile.

He’s right that I need a friend more than anything else. I’ve been running for so long, and I’m exhausted. If I don’t get help soon, I’m not sure how much longer I can keep going.

I also can’t deny that the other part of what he said intrigued me. Knowing he’s attracted to me makes my heart race, and I feel giddy like a teenager.

Of course, I can see Jake is gorgeous, but you don’t have to be a genius to see that he’s a bad boy with a history longer than I care to imagine. Still, I can’t ignore that Jake is the first man I’ve been attracted to since Miles, and that scares me more than anything.

I’ve not had to worry about trivial matters of the heart since Miles. I knew coming back here would test me, but I never saw this coming. I need to focus on taking down the demons of my past, and then I can worry about my love life.