Page 19 of Mutual Obsession (Rivals of Blackthorn #2)

Courtney clears her throat, having regained her composure, and I can tell she’s trying hard to remain impassive. “I bet that was really hard to see. I’m not sure which would have bothered you more: Indie dating Jake, or Jake dating Indie.”

I stare at her, trying to make sense of what she just said. She gives me a knowing look that only confuses me more. “You’ve just said the exact same thing. What are you going on about?”

Courtney rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “I mean, are you more jealous that Jake is dating Indie, or that Indie is dating Jake?”

As soon as I realise what she’s asking, I freeze. My heart is pounding so loud, I’m surprised everyone can’t hear it. Silence hangs heavily between us, and I’m not sure what the hell to say to that.

Courtney reaches over the table and takes my hand in hers, jolting me out of my almost catatonic state. I glance up to meet her beautiful blue eyes and see that she’s looking at me with so much love and understanding, it makes my heart ache.

“You’re my big brother, Miles. I know you better than anyone.”

My words are barely above a whisper, sounding just as shaky as I feel. “You knew?”

She gives me a nod, her smile never wavering. “I was only about eight or nine at the time, so I didn’t really know or understand much, but I saw the way you looked at him. More than that, I saw how broken you were after prom.

“You never talked about it, but I worked out for myself that something must have happened. You and Jake had fallen out, and didn’t really speak much after that. I figured the two things were linked, as you never spoke about him again after that. Well, until recently, that is.”

She throws me a cheeky wink at the end, that smirk of hers growing, and all I can do is roll my eyes at her.

I’m reminded once more that Courtney never really got the chance to be a kid. She was always much older and wiser than her years, and clearly more observant than I ever gave her credit for.

“I’m his sobriety partner now. I’m helping him to battle against his addiction,” I tell her, offering what little explanation I can for why Jacob has suddenly become a prominent figure in my life once again.

She doesn’t miss the fact I glance over her observations, but she doesn’t push me on it. I’m not ready to talk about prom night with anyone, let alone my little sister.

“What’s it like having him back in your life like that?” she asks, pulling me back to the present.

I shrug my shoulders as I take a sip of my drink.

“Honestly, it’s been okay. We mostly keep to safe topics, and things seem to have gone back to how they were when we were friends.

If he starts talking about the past, during the counselling sessions I have to attend with him, I leave.

I made it clear from the beginning that for me, the past is off-limits, and his therapists respect that. ”

“Don’t you think talking about it will help?” she asks, and I can hear the almost accusatory tone she’s trying her hardest to mask.

I shake my head with a huff. “There’s no point. Nothing has changed. Jacob is the Santoro heir, and that comes with responsibilities.”

Courtney scoffs, her face scrunching up in disgust. “You mean Caleb Santoro is a homophobic arsehole who is demanding Jacob gets married and produces an heir?”

Hearing her mention the path that Jacob has laid out before him makes my stomach twist, and sadness sits heavily on my heart as I nod in confirmation.

“It’s not just that. Jake’s not exactly shown any signs that he doesn’t agree with his father’s views.”

Courtney huffs loudly. “Bollocks. I may have been young, but I saw the way he looked at you, too. I’m guessing he was scared of his feelings, and hurt you to avoid dealing with them.”

Nausea ripples through me and my heart breaks all over again as memories from that dark time threaten to reappear. I focus on pushing them back, digging my nails into my palms, so the pain acts as a distraction.

I nod, my voice sounding shaky as I say, “Yeah, he hurt me a lot. I didn’t think I’d ever like anyone again.”

“Then Dee came along,” Courtney finishes for me.

I give her a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes, as I think back to the first night I met Dee. “She helped me forget about everything. All the shit with Mum, Bruce, the overwhelming need to protect you, the past with Jake…everything.

“When I was with her, I got to be a normal twenty-two-year-old with no responsibilities. Even though we were both hiding things, it didn’t seem to matter, as we got to be together.”

I almost want to shake my head at my naivety. At the time, I knew Dee was hiding things from me, that she had secrets, but because I had some of my own that I wasn’t willing to share, it didn’t seem fair to push her to reveal hers, when I had no intention of reciprocating.

We both turned a blind eye to the secrets, and the things we lied about by omission. In hindsight, I should have known that nothing good would come out of something that was built on such an unstable foundation, but that’s love for you. It makes you blind and stupid.

Courtney squeezes my hand, passing her strength over to me, bringing me back to the here and now. “I’m glad she gave you that. I hated all the pressure I put on you that summer, and everything that you had to miss out on because of me.”

Her voice breaks at the end, and I watch as a tear rolls down her cheek. Without thinking, I climb out of my side of the booth, rush around the table and slide in next to my sister. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side.

“You don’t ever have to feel bad, Court. I would give up anything and everything to keep you safe,” I tell her, hoping she can hear the sincerity in my voice, as I mean every word.

She buries her head into my chest, like she used to do when she was younger. I hear her mutter something about me being soppy, but I hug her tighter still.

When her tears have stopped, she pulls away, but I keep my arm around her shoulders, giving her the support she needs. “I remember how cut up you were when she left. You hid it well, with everything that was going on, but I saw how much it broke you,” she confesses, looking incredibly sad for me.

I give her a barely there nod, not really needing to confirm that her statement is correct. Before I can stop it, a dark chuckle slips out, and Courtney looks at me like I might have lost my mind, so I explain.

“How weird is it that the only two people who have ever broken my heart are now dating each other?”

Court winces, her eyes narrowing as she struggles to find the right words to respond. “Are you sure they’re dating?” she asks tentatively.

I let out another laugh as I drag my hand through my hair. “I may not have been on one for a very long time, but I know what a date looks like, Court.”

“But you don’t know for sure,” she pushes, her light-blue gaze piercing mine.

“Chloe seems to think they’re just friends, but she’s being na?ve. She wants to see the best in her brother.” I don’t bother adding that Chloe is clearly wasting her time, given her brother is a massive manwhore!

“Whereas you want to see the worst in him?” Court adds, somewhat unhelpfully.

I scoff. “It’s not that I want to, it’s just facts.”

Courtney rolls her eyes at me, like she’s dealing with an idiot. “Have you considered just talking to them?”

I narrow my eyes into a glare, and I’m sure she’s watching them darken as annoyance takes over. This deadly stare is usually enough to make grown men piss themselves, but my little sister just flips her hair like she doesn’t even see the danger in front of her.

I respond through gritted teeth. “There’s no point talking to Indie. She’s a liar and I wouldn’t trust a word she says.”

“What about Jake then?” she retorts, taking another sip of her drink. “You’ve been talking to him during his therapy sessions, so why not just bring up the fact that it bothers you?”

“I have no right to tell him that. I’m the one who set the boundaries all those years ago. I’m the one who told him to stay away from me. I can’t go back on that now.” Desperation seeps into every word, and I hate how fucking lost I sound.

Courtney’s laughter startles me, pulling me from my thoughts. Before I can get mad at her for laughing at me, she explains. “I think this would be classed as extenuating circumstances. You’re just afraid.”

She says the last sentence like it's nothing, like she didn’t just reach into my soul and dig around until she found the thing I’ve been hiding for so long.

Anyone who's had their heart broken will be able to relate to this fear. There’s nothing worse than the pain of heartbreak, and I’m doing everything I can to prevent it from happening again.

Despite knowing she’s right, the older brother, and man, in me refuses to back down from the challenge in her voice. “I’m not afraid,” I snarl, hoping to sound convincing.

Court smiles, like I walked straight into her trap. “Good, then you’ll talk to him.”

I shake my head, letting the silence hang between us. Luckily, that’s when the server appears with our food. We were so caught up in our discussion, I’d almost forgotten that we had ordered something to eat.

I don’t bother returning to my side of the booth. I just reach over to grab my cutlery and begin digging in. After we’ve both eaten a good chunk of food, I decide to move the conversation away from myself, even though I may regret the direction it will go in.

“So, how are things with you?” I ask tentatively.

Courtney swallows the food she has in her mouth and then smiles, the brightest I’ve seen from her in a long time. It lights up her face and makes her look so beautiful and alive.

“Things are great. I’m even thinking about going back to finish my university degree,” she tells me, excitement bleeding into every word.