Page 38 of Mutual Obsession (Rivals of Blackthorn #2)

G iven how often I move around, and the amount of new beds in different, unfamiliar rooms I’ve slept in, you’d think I’d be used to it, but it never gets any easier.

After the dramatic, albeit incredibly fucking sexy evening I shared with Miles and Jake, I returned to my room with so much on my mind. Although there were a lot of sexy parts that were easy to recall, of course, my fragile confidence chooses to focus on Miles walking away.

He left without even looking back, leaving Jake and I standing there, completely naked, not at all sure what to do. My heart sank as I watched him walk away, but Jake pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me, reassuring me in a way that only he can.

As I climb into bed, my brain replays the moment over.

As Jake wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his chest, I’m shocked that his heart isn’t pounding the way mine is. Why isn’t he as destroyed by Miles leaving?

“It’s okay, Indie,” he says soothingly, rubbing his hand up and down my bare back. “I actually expected Miles to do something like this.”

I pull back to stare at him, and am shocked to see he’s being completely serious. It’s a little ironic, as I thought he’d be the one to freak out.

He gives me that knowing smile, like he can hear what I’m thinking as he pushes a few rogue blonde hair strands off my face, tucking them behind my ear.

“Miles is a logical person, but he’s also incredibly kind. He’d never want to hurt someone he cares about, if he can help it. So he won’t touch either of us until he’s sure it’s what he wants.

“His body may want us, but he has to forgive us first. He won’t give us the hope of a future until he’s sure it’s something he’s capable of giving us,” Jake explains, reminding me he’s known Miles for a lot longer than I have.

I know he’s right. It makes sense, and honestly, I should have realised that Miles is still the boy I fell for all those years ago. He’s still kind and caring, even if he’s a bit rougher around the edges now.

“So I need to work on earning his forgiveness and gaining back his trust. But you need to work on what’s going on in your head. If you get into this with the two of us, you have to be sure you’re all in.

“This isn’t a fling for any of us, and you have to be sure it’s what you want. You can’t date me in public and fuck Miles in private, like he’s a dirty little secret.

“I expect telling people we’re a triad will be just as hard to explain as the sexuality questions you’ll no doubt get. So you have to decide if you can deal, and when you’re sure, you’ll have to find a way to make Miles believe you’re serious,” I tell him, hoping he can see how important this is.

I know I have a lot of work to do with Miles, and we need to talk before we can even think about moving forward, but Jake has much bigger hurdles to overcome, and I’m worried he’s going to be the stumbling block we all fall at.

Jake nods, a pensive look on his face. I reach up to smooth out the wrinkles forming on his forehead, giving him a small smile as I do.

“Would we have to tell people straight away, or can we spend some time with only the three of us knowing? Not because I want to keep it hidden, but I want to enjoy our time together for a bit before it’s pulled apart by opinions,” Jake says, his words turning sour as his brain is no doubt conjuring up all of the possible opinions as we speak.

I pause for a moment, considering his question. “I’d be willing to keep it a secret for a bit, but I feel certain Miles will only entertain that option if he thinks you’re willing to go public when the time is right. He won’t risk getting hurt again.”

Jake nods slowly, agreeing with me. “We should get some sleep.”

He pulls me in for another hug, squeezing me tight. When he finally lets me go, he presses a sweet kiss to my lips. It’s more chaste than any other tonight, but it’s full of promises, and the fluttering in my stomach goes wild.

He walks me to my room in silence, and I’m sure we’re both thinking about the individual yet mammoth tasks we’re each faced with when it comes to Miles. If we don’t win him over, this thing between us all is over before it even begins, and neither of us is willing to let that happen.

We’re going to fight for Miles, to show him that if he trusts us with his heart, we won’t break it again.

As I tuck myself up into the ridiculously large and comfy bed, I push those thoughts from my mind, pulling on the hot memories instead.

I replay the moment when Miles was staring at Jake, watching with hunger in his eyes as Jake scooped up Miles’ cum, before bringing his fingers to his lips to lick them clean.

It was quite honestly one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen, and combined with the exhausting evening, and the mentally draining aftermath, sleep finds me much quicker than I was expecting.

Even though I fell asleep to some very good thoughts, nothing can stop the same old nightmares from invading my dreams. Gregg and The Count have found me, just like I’ve been waiting for them to do.

The horror of it turns my veins to ice as Gregg gets his revenge on me for running away. As he wraps his hand around my neck, reminding me I will always belong to him, panic overwhelms me.

I wake up screaming as Gregg takes the last of my oxygen in my nightmare. I’m dripping in sweat, tears streaming down my face as the unfamiliar dark room adds to my frantic state. I’m still screaming in between sobs, as I can’t seem to do anything else.

The door to the room bursts open, flooding in light from the hallway, showing just enough for me to remember I’m in Jake’s spare room. As someone rushes in, I scream again, my ears ringing as I struggle to breathe.

“It’s only me, Gorgeous Girl. Don’t be scared.”

Miles’ soft, reassuring voice penetrates through my fear, and my screams turn to sobs, as my body trembles uncontrollably. Miles closes the door behind him, taking away the last of the light, and I whimper loudly.

He rushes over and turns on the bedside light, before moving to take a seat on the bed next to me. I turn to look at him, struggling to make him out as the tears blur my vision, but it’s not hard to miss the heartbroken expression on his face.

Before I know what I’m doing, I crawl over to him and throw myself into his lap, letting him wrap his arms around me. As his scent and warmth envelopes me, and he strokes my back in a soothing way, I feel safer than I have in a while.

I cling to him like he’s my lifeline, my tears soaking his bare chest as I claw at his skin, trying desperately to pull him even closer.

I don’t know how long he holds me, I just concentrate on the warm, familiar feeling. Allowing his touch to soothe me, like Miles is helping me battle my demons in any way he can.

When we were together, I never slept over much, but the few times I did, I had the same nightmare then, too. Just like now, Miles would hold me in his arms, reassuring me without even knowing why I was scared.

Afterwards, he’d always tell me that if I ever wanted to talk about my nightmares, he’d listen, but he never pushed me to explain them. At the time, I was grateful for that, but now I wonder if he had pushed me, would he have been able to help me all those years ago?

Once my sobs have died down, and my tears dry, Miles leans down and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. I look up at him, my heart skipping when I see his tight smile.

“Have you been having nightmares like this for the past seven years?” he asks, his voice not giving away any indication of how he’s really feeling.

I shrug noncommittally. “Mostly, it happens when I move to a new, unfamiliar place. I worry it’s not as safe as I think it is.

Usually, the reason I’ve moved in the first place is because I’ve heard, or I suspect, Gregg has found me.

I’m terrified that I didn’t move quickly enough.

That he’s finally caught me,” I admit in a croaky voice, hoarse from all the sobbing.

Miles strokes the hair out of my eyes, tucking it behind my ears before running his fingers through my long, blonde hair. “So, this new room triggered you?”

I nod as best I can with my cheek still resting against his bare chest. “Even though logically I know I’m safe, my brain doesn’t know that.”

“I get that,” he whispers, like he might be able to relate in some way.

We both fall silent, each of us lost to the moment in different ways. I pull my head back slightly, reluctantly removing my face from his hard chest, so I can make eye contact with him. I want him to see how grateful I am.

“Thank you for coming to check on me. For helping me out of my panic. I’m a little surprised Jake isn’t here too.”

Miles starts to chuckle, his eyes sparkling. “Jacob sleeps like the dead. You could have screamed in his ear and he probably still wouldn’t have woken up.”

I laugh along with him, happy to have learnt something new about Jake. Although my tears have stopped, and my breathing has returned to normal, Miles doesn’t stop holding me, and when I lay my head back down on his chest, he doesn’t object.

In fact, he tightens his hold, pulling me even closer, and I daren’t move in case he changes his mind. I want to bask in his warmth for as long as he’ll allow it.

I close my eyes and enjoy the silence, relaxing into his hold in a way that makes me wish for forever like this. After a while, Miles’ low, quiet voice pierces through the quiet.

“When I heard you screaming, it terrified me. I hated seeing you so scared,” he admits, and I can’t stop myself from smiling at his confession.

“Well, you have an incredible ability to make me feel safe…even after all this time.”

I desperately wish I had the courage to look up at him right now, to see what his reaction is, but instead, I keep my eyes on his chest, worried in case I’ve tipped the delicate balance we find ourselves in.