Page 25 of Mutual Obsession (Rivals of Blackthorn #2)
I shuffle uncomfortably under the weight of his stare, and even though I open my mouth several times, the right words just don’t seem to come out. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?
Miles lets out a humourless laugh, which has me glaring at him.
“As much as I hate to admit this, Pretty Boy, I was stupidly in love with you long before that night at prom. We didn’t need to be in a relationship for me to feel that way.
I may have been confused by my feelings, but I knew exactly how I felt. ”
I stumble back, even without the help of Miles pushing me, feeling a little stunned. “You loved me? But…”
I remember the last time I asked him that, and he walked away without answering. I convinced myself that what happened between us was just our emotions running rampant, that there was no way he could ever love me. After all, I’d done nothing but hurt him, so why would he love me?
Now I’m here again, asking the same question, but this time, he’s not walking away. Miles keeps his blue gaze fixed on mine, but the sad smile he gives me makes my chest ache.
“You hurt me just as badly as she did. The difference is…you did it because you were scared. I know what your family is like, and the pressure they put on you. Being with me meant tackling your sexuality, and that was a lot to ask of a teenage boy. We were doomed to fail before we even started.
“Whereas Dee chose to leave. She made me think we had a future together, she made me fall for her, and then she left without a word. She could have made a different choice, but she didn’t. She chose to break my heart, you didn’t.”
My nerves crackle as I take a small step closer to Miles, watching him gulp nervously. “I never wanted to hurt you,” I tell him, hoping he can hear the sincerity in my voice.
Miles nods, giving me a sad smile as he whispers, “I know.”
I hadn’t even realised that I’d continued walking towards him until I feel his breath fluttering over my face. I can almost taste him.
“You have no idea how much I wish things could be different,” Miles says, catching me completely off-guard.
Something I can only describe as hope flutters in my stomach. “Really? Even after everything that’s happened?”
Miles nods, but doesn’t say anything more.
I don’t even think; I close the gap between us and crash my lips against Miles’. We kiss like we’re both drowning, using each other as a life raft to stay afloat.
It’s not a sweet or simple kiss. It’s messy, bruising, but so full of fucking passion that it has me aching.
My hands roam all over his body, desperate to feel every inch of him.
Whilst Miles has a firm grip on the back of my neck and my hip, holding me in place, so I can’t run this time. Not that I’d fucking want to.
Kissing Miles sets my body on fire, and my cock is hard before I know it. Desperate to relieve some of the pulsating ache, I rock my hips until my dick rubs against his thigh.
I moan loudly into his mouth, lost in the fucking amazing sensation. But before I’m able to do it again, Miles breaks the kiss. He pulls back, shaking his head rapidly as his eyes widen, almost like he’s panicking.
“No, we can’t do this. Nothing has changed, and now you’re seeing Indie,” he says frantically, and I can’t help but laugh.
His eyes narrow at my laughter, and he looks furious. I pull my lips together to hold it back, but I’m very aware I’m still smiling. “We spent most of our date talking about you,” I tell him.
“What?” he screeches, looking even more confused.
This time, I let my smile grow wide. “Well, it turns out, you’re a pretty hard bloke to get over, and that’s something we have in common.”
“I’m so confused,” Miles admits, his words matching his expression.
“When we were at the zoo today, we caught the end of a talk about this certain type of lemur. The female is the one who chooses a mate, and she often chooses multiple males. I said that I thought there would be lots of women out there that would like to have multiple men without having to choose.
“Indie made a joke that she would like to not have to choose, but that it’s not reality, as usually men are possessive.
I told her I might quite enjoy sharing her, and you should have seen the look on her face, like she was considering it, and now I can’t get it out of my head,” I tell him, getting hot remembering the shy way she bit her lip when she was trying not to think about it.
Even though his cheeks appear a little flushed, he’s shaking his head like he can’t quite believe what I just told him. “Sharing? As in, both you and I date her?”
I fix him with an intense stare as I slowly shake my head, which causes his gaze to narrow, wrinkling his forehead. “No, as in, we all share each other. The three of us, all together.”
His eyes widen further, but I see the way they darken as he considers the idea. His breathing becomes shallow and ragged. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like my head is going to explode,” he admits, his voice trembling.
I chuckle as I take a small step back, giving him the space I know he needs, even if my heart aches from the distance. “That’s fair. Maybe we can take things slow. Why don’t you meet me and Indie for a coffee tomorrow? Just hear what she has to say.
“You don’t need to forgive her, or even be friends with her, but I need to know what help she needs from you, even if it’s me who deals with it. I just need you to find out what’s going on with her.”
I don’t bother saying that hopefully if he gets the answers he needs, they can move forward, and when that happens, maybe we can look at all being together. The three of us together is hardly a conventional relationship, but it just feels right.
Miles closes his eyes and lets out a huff as he says, “I feel like I’ll regret this, but okay… I’ll meet you both for coffee.”
When he opens his eyes, I let him see how happy that decision has made me. “Thank you,” I say gratefully.
Miles nods, and the barest hint of a smile that he throws my way makes my stomach flutter, as I take another step backwards. I can’t help but wonder if he hates the growing distance as much as I do.
Before I can stop them, words that were only ever meant to be for my own ears tumble from my lips for him to hear. “That kiss with you just then made me feel more than I ever have when doing everything with someone else.”
Although Miles’ eyes darken with passion, and he nods like he might understand, he says nothing. As I turn and walk away, I’m grateful for his silence, even if a small part of me wishes he’d agreed.
I pull in a shaky breath with each step, but just as I reach the end of the alley, I do something I know I shouldn’t do. I stop and look back over my shoulder.
I’m not sure what I’m hoping to see, but I can’t stop the smile from lighting up my face when I see Miles with his fingers against his lips, touching where my mouth had been not too long before. I can still feel the ghost of his lips against mine, and I wonder if that’s what he’s feeling.
For the first time in a while, I’m hopeful for the future. We may not take the easiest route, and there will no doubt be a lot of fucking hurdles to get over, but I have a feeling the prize at the finish line will be more than worth it.