Page 19 of Mate

“Like God intended,” he says, with the tone of someone whose opinion of God’s will is that it’s secondary to his own.

Rationally, I know that Koen wasn’t born with a pack to boss around.

There must have been a time in his life in which people surrounding him would not have thrown themselves under a banana car just because he snapped his fingers at them.

And yet I can’t picture it. “I can’t stay with you, Koen. I need to be on my own.”

“Do you need to, or do you want to?”

“Does it matter?”

“No. You’ll do what I say anyway.”

I close my eyes. “Maybe I should just go back to Lowe and Misery— ”

“Who, notoriously, have nothing and no one more important than you to worry about,” he drawls.

I press my lips together.

“Word of advice, killer?” he murmurs. “Stubborn and stupid is just a couple letters’ difference.”

“You’re not the best speller, are you?”

A smile pulls at the edge of his mouth— and then mine. We share a long look, equally frustrated and amused by each other. A weird string strains between us, tugging at me, reminding me that I like him, I liked him from the start, I don’t want to fight with him.

Maybe I could tell him. He would understand, I think. He’s gruff and abrasive, a little mean, but also aware of cumbersome stuff like duty, responsibility, love. He wouldn’t judge me for doing what I needed to do. Maybe he’d help me through my last few months. Maybe I wouldn’t be so alone.

That just sounds . . . good. So good, I nearly say, Koen, I need you to know something .

But he would never keep a secret that big. And then Misery and Lowe and Ana would know, and I want better for them.

So I ask, in my most hard-ass tone, “What do I have to do to get you to let me stay on my own?”

He pauses, staring at me in that serious, uncompromising way I should be afraid of. “You want to be on your own?”

I nod, eager.

“Okay.” He drops the pillow. Flicks his fingers for me to follow. “I’ll allow it. If you prove to me that you can handle it.”

DURING THE TEN-MINUTE DRIVE, I EXPERIENCE MOUNTAINS OF RELIEF , picturing Koen dropping me off at a quaint little cottage after proof that, at long last, I have acquired the ability to plug a charger into a socket.

I should have expected something more like me on a gym mat. Wearing borrowed shorts and a white tee. Standing in front of a tall blond woman who looks like an underwear model tough enough to survive an extinction-level event. She’s inscrutable in a pants-pissing way.

“This is Brenna,” Koen says, much closer to her than he is to me.

I don’t know why I notice, or why it makes my belly heavy.

“One of my seconds. She manages this gym and trains most younger members of the pack in hand- to- hand combat.” They exchange a small smile.

Clearly, they go way back. “Serena here said that if she’s expecting an attack, she can fend for herself. ”

“Would you like me to prove her wrong?” Brenna sounds bored. I doubt she thinks much of me. Then again, do I think much of me?

“I need to make sure she won’t die on my watch. Lowe’s mate likes her,” he adds.

“You do have a soft spot for Lowe,” Brenna agrees, like it’s his fatal flaw.

“This is unnecessary,” I say. “For one, regular Weres are much stronger than Vampyres. And in a scenario in which I live alone, I would have weapons.”

“I don’t mind if she uses a weapon,” Brenna offers, challenge shimmering in her eyes.

“Well, she can’t. And highly trained Vampyres defeat Weres in combat all the time.” He gestures toward me with a small flourish. “Show me that you can be the last one standing in hand- to- hand, and I’ll let you live wherever the hell you want. Okay?”

I can tell he expects more protests. So I smile sweetly.

“Okay.” And add, under my breath, “ Alpha .” His jaw twitches like he did not like that, but I must be in the mood to taunt him.

“You didn’t have to take me all the way here.

You could have sparred with me yourself.

” I tilt my head. “Unless you’re afraid of me? ”

His expression flattens. “Sure. I’m afraid. It’s not that I have better shit to do than to wrestle spoiled little girls who love wasting my time.”

My stomach drops. It’s unnecessarily mean, the way Koen holds my eyes for a beat, as if to savor the hurt in them. Then he fondly clasps Brenna’s shoulder, whispers something in her ear that has her smirking, and settles on the bench farthest away.

I hate him.

“Ready to start whenever you are,” Brenna says once he’s out of earshot.

I hate her, too. By extension. Which is unfair, but it does fuel me.

Misery and I have taken a lot of self-defense, and I have some moves tucked away. Not sure how they’ll play out after months of poor sleep hygiene, a diet mostly made of stomach acids, and my current condom full of chicken stock level of fitness, but I don’t care.

Brenna expects nothing from me, and I can use it to my advantage.

“I didn’t think Weres went to the gym,” I tell her with a small smile.

“Weres do everything Humans do. But better.”

So maybe I don’t hate her. Maybe I sort of like her. It’s Misery’s fault if I have a thing for tall blondes who use fuck off humor to shield their true selves. I’ll write my sister a strongly worded email of condemnation.

But there’s something I need to know, and I decide not to hem and haw over it. “You and Koen . . . ?”

“Yup.” Light on her feet, she moves closer. We start circling each other.

“Cool.” She throws a jab at my torso. I hop back and dodge it. For some reason, my chest hurts anyway. “How, um, long have you been together?”

“We no longer are.”

Oh.

I evade a few more punches and try a low attack, but she gets me with a leg kick.

I fall on my ass but manage to roll back up before she can .

. . I don’t know. When does this stop? Pinfall?

Knockout? First blood? She’s not going to kill me, right?

“You didn’t break up because of the mate thing, right? ” I ask, already panting a little.

“As if. You’re not the hub of reality.” She snorts. “It was a million years ago, and there was no breaking up . The fucking ground was falling from under our feet.” She aims a cross at my head, which I barely slip. I counter with a jab to her ribs, quickly followed by a light kick.

I land both. And they must hurt— if not her flesh, her pride. Brenna glares, and that’s when she begins to fight in earnest. I half expect the way she grabs my shoulders, and even her knee to my stomach. I block the latter, but she takes me down with a body lock that . . .

Fucking ouch .

“Listen.” She pins me to the mat. Holds me down as she whispers right against my face.

“I’m not some jealous woman quivering at the sight of a pretty trophy girlfriend.

But you know nothing . Things could get real tough here in the Northwest. Koen could use an adult, instead of a cute little ball and chain combo that only slows him down. ”

Hard not to take what she’s saying personally when, if the mood were to strike, she could easily choke me. “I may be ignorant of Were and Northwest customs, but in my defense, people haven’t been forthcoming with information— ”

“What do you wanna know? Ask away, ’cause I’m not going to baby you.

Your weird hybrid shit and that rosy-cheeked, wide-eyed look, they’re not adorable to me.

I was thrown in the deep end when I was a decade younger than you are now, and no one tossed me a rope, not even a damn stick, and I’m stronger for it.

You’d benefit from fewer gloves and rougher— ”

I jerk my hips and push against her neck, creating enough space to flip us around. I twist her hand, pull it under my armpit, and lock her in an armbar. “Why was the Northwest divided?” I ask. Since she’s so eager to talk, I’d rather it be about something that isn’t me.

“That’s a much smarter question than I expected from you,” she chokes out, failing to free herself.

“Yeah, well. I used to think of myself as a smart person.”

“Used to?”

“Not realizing what species I was for the better part of two decades had me reassessing,” I huff.

“That must fuck you up real good, huh? I don’t envy you.”

“Why? It’s been so fun .” I think she might be chuckling. I strengthen my grip and ask, “When did the pack split?”

“Forty years ago. Little less.”

“Why?”

“A disagreement between the former Alpha and the Assembly. The huddles separated and became self-governing. The Alpha remained in control of the core. The five huddles made for about half of the population, so it was an even split.”

“Were the huddles and the core at war with each other?”

“What? No.” More breathless laughter. “We interacted constantly. I was born in the Moon Craters huddle, but my mom was working in the Den when I was five or so. Koen and I learned to read at the same school.”

“So what happened that made the core and the huddles reunite?”

“Outsiders tried to destroy us. The Northwest’s strength comes from its unity.”

I must have gotten too engrossed in the conversation, because Brenna frees herself.

We both shoot to our feet, and then it’s a flurry of hooks and push kicks.

She tries to corner me, but I move laterally.

I strike her with my elbow and aim at her knee, but she’s no longer underestimating me, and that’s a shame.

“Was it Humans?” I ask. “The threat, I mean.”

“Isn’t it always?” She tries an inside trip. I attempt a clinch. We both fail. “There’s so fucking many of you, it’s no surprise you’re involved in everything .”

I step back. Gain space. Reset the fight. I can feel the beginnings of bruises blooming under my skin. “How did Koen reunite the pack?”

“He cleaned up. Made promises. Took on and won countless challenges.” She moves forward.

Throws a body shot that I slow down with hits to her chest. “I lost my parents and my infant sister in the span of hours. Do you think I gave a shit about a breakup?” Her strikes become more forceful, and I can no longer parry them.

She dives in, shoulders against my abdomen, and forces me to the floor again.

“Fuck.” I try to squirm away, but she’s heavy on top of me.

“The worst part is . . .” We’re both breathing heavily. Her blue eyes bore into mine as she tries to set up an armbar, this time on me. “I wouldn’t have wished this on him.”

“This?” I choke out.

“You.”

My heart drops, even though there’s no cattiness in the word.

She’s just sorry, I think. Sorry for Koen, for the way he’s saddled with me, and I’m almost curious enough to ask her why.

Brenna, what specifically about me is not full-package material?

Because we’re positively besieged by choices here.

Is it the fact that I’m a hybrid? That I don’t know how to be a proper Were?

That there’s a bounty over my head? That I grew up with a Vampyre?

That I’m unemployed? A snort of a laugh hiccups out of me.

Honestly, it’s genuinely amusing, how poor a fit I am for the Alpha of this pack.

Brenna is less than entertained. “I don’t want to be unfair. Your life has been hard. But I hope you will leave soon, Serena. I appreciate that you’re trying to protect Lowe’s sister, but I hope you’ll know better than to stick around once this is over.”

It would be so easy to snap back, if she was being deliberately rude.

But she’s obviously in pain. And too distracted to notice her slackening grip and the opening she’s giving me.

I rip my arm free, shift our positions, and swing my legs over her body.

Putting pressure on the joint of her elbow, I watch her thrash for a few seconds.

It’s there in her eyes, the moment she realizes that there’s no way out.

“I’m not going to stick around,” I puff out, winded. “I’ll be out of your hair before you can swat me away. And you don’t have to worry about Koen and me. We’re not together. The mate thing has no bearing on our relationship. We’re not secretly in love with each other. We’re not even fucking.”

“Oh, I know.” Her smile is strained. “Believe me, we all know.”

“Good. He explained the situation to you.” I glance up and find him staring at us. At me . If he’s angry that I won, he hides it well. There is a shadow of a smile around his eyes, at the edge of him, that resembles . . . pride.

I hope what he reads in my wide, smug grin is Guess I’ll be living on my own .

And maybe he does. Because he nods, once, as if conceding that I’m right. I open my mouth to say something obnoxiously victorious— and that’s when I realize that my celebration was premature.

With an explosive burst, Brenna lifts me off her. She breaks free and takes full advantage of my absolute shock to wrap an arm around my neck from the rear, and . . .

“He didn’t need to explain any situation to anyone,” she whispers in my ear.

“There are three things I believe with utmost certainty. Death will come for all of us. No matter what, the sun will rise every morning. And Koen is never, ever going to touch you. Not even if you beg him for it on your knees.”

She lets go of me so abruptly, I fall back against the mat, disoriented, dizzy, breathing in big gulps of air. When I open my eyes, Koen is staring down at me, mouth upturned in an unsurprised smile.

“For your sake, killer, you better not leave dirty dishes in the sink.”