Page 31 of Love Is a War Song

The table was set beautifully with fine china and linen napkins.

I was rethinking my outfit choice. I should have gone with a simple long sundress and my denim jacket, because I felt way too flashy and showy in this getup.

The bright pink flowers stood out like beacons in this mausoleum of a dining room.

Will sat at the head of the table and Cat sat on the opposite end.

There were two seats on either side. We were all spread out pretty far, almost like the end of a chess game when you have a few pieces left scattered on the board.

Obviously, I watched The Queen’s Gambit one time and now I was a chess expert.

I hurried to sit in my offered seat and ordered my brain to stop making dumb observations.

I was regretting refusing the wine now, but I was going to stand in solidarity with Lucas, whether he cared or not.

He didn’t drink, so therefore I wouldn’t drink.

It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t need to drink, but these two people were trying to play hosts in the coldest house with these fake smiles and it had me on edge.

If I felt this way as a stranger, there was no telling how awful Lucas was feeling.

He just sat in his chair staring at his empty plate.

“So, how have you been, son? Doing any interesting projects for Lottie?” Will asked.

“Will.” Cat’s voice sounded like a warning.

“What? I can’t ask my only son how he’s doing? I see him maybe twice a year, how else am I to learn about how he is?”

Cat leveled Will with a look that communicated a lot with those hard brown eyes.

“Same old, same old,” Lucas said.

“Wonderful. Avery, can you help me bring the dishes out to be served?” Cat asked.

“Mom, don’t make her do that.”

“I’d be happy to, Mrs. Iron Eyes.” I got up, relieved to have a task, but Lucas looked uncomfortable being alone with his dad.

I perhaps miscalculated in judgment with my eagerness to help—Lucas was left to suffer the presence of his father without me or his mother as a buffer.

I hurried after Cat through the door to the kitchen to try to get everything as quickly as possible.

Cat Iron Eyes had other ideas.

“What can I take now?” I asked.

“Oh, we need to plate the roast and the veggies under it. So, tell me, how long have you been with my son?”

“Oh…it’s all pretty new. Time is flying by.” I tried to keep my answers as vague as possible, but this woman was a shark.

“When you say ‘new,’ how new?”

“We don’t really want to put labels on it and are taking things one day at a time.” I scooped the potatoes and carrots onto the white ceramic dish Cat gave me. I made sure to keep my face down, focused on the task.

“Is he kind to you?” Her tone was light, but I heard a slight hesitation to it. Like my answer really mattered to her.

“Lucas is very kind and caring.” I looked up at her.

She nodded to herself. “He was always a sweet boy. I’m glad. We have never met a girl he was seeing before, so this is new territory.”

“You don’t need to worry about him. He is doing great. I’ve never seen a harder-working man.” I went back to scooping the vegetables.

“I Googled you, you know?”

“What?” I looked up and in doing so, the spoonful missed the bowl. Carrots rolled off the pristine counter onto the sterile floors. “Oh no! I’m so sorry. I’ll clean this up.”

“Don’t worry about the floor. What’s your plan when you go back to your real life?”

I was taken aback at her question. “Mrs. Iron Eyes, I don’t know if that’s something I can answer at this point,” I said honestly. Because I really did have no idea.

“Call me Cat. Lucas has had a very troubled life. I don’t want him to spiral if you leave and leave him heartbroken. Just promise me you won’t upend his life, okay?”

“I would never do anything to harm Lucas.”

She gave me a sad smile. “Trust me, in love it doesn’t matter your intentions. Inevitably it will get messy. Earlier you said you thought he was the most handsome man you had ever seen. Was that true?”

“Of course. You’d have to be dumb not to think that,” I said lightly, crouching on the floor to pick up scattered veggies.

It was ridiculous, but I needed to do something while she interrogated me.

Not that I could blame her. I wish my mother was as protective of my emotional well-being as Cat was being for Lucas.

“I do believe you’re being honest with me.” She sighed and set the roast onto the serving platter. She looked up at the wall, her mind clearly elsewhere. “I remember those days, when lust clouded everything we did. It was intense. My Luke is a good man, despite his issues.”

“Um,” I said, “yes, he is.” I mean, what was I to say to all that? I was starting to infer the issues he had gone through had something to do with the fact he didn’t drink, but he had never explicitly told me about his complicated history and I wouldn’t press him on it.

“Don’t break my baby’s heart, okay?” Cat picked up the platter and headed into the dining room. I threw the rest of the veggies into the dish and followed her back into the room.

I’d never seen two more sullen men in my life.

Will sat with a piss-sour look, staring into his tumbler, and Lucas sat back in his chair, arms crossed with his face directed at the ceiling.

The tension was palpable. It was obvious there had been some heated discussion while we were in the other room.

The sound of the door broke whatever moment they had.

Will shook his head as if clearing his thoughts, then kicked his drink back and sucked down the contents in one gulp.

Lucas’s jaw was clenched and his eyes dropped to his empty plate.

“Dinner’s here,” Cat sang cheerfully. There was no way she was ignorant of what we’d walked into; it was like she was purposefully ignoring it to get the evening back on track.

One by one she served slices of roast onto our plates along with veggies.

The cheese, crackers, and grapes were also up for grabs on the table.

After my own emotional and unfulfilling confrontation with Lottie and the long journey to get back to the ranch, I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. My stomach growled. I helped myself to everything.

“Would you like to lead grace, honey?” Cat asked Will.

We all bowed our heads and followed Will’s blessing of the meal. Then Will got up and went to the bar and filled his tumbler with more liquor. It was whiskey, the old expensive Scottish stuff.

He took a big swig before he sat back down to skewer his meat with his fork.

“Has Lucas told you about us, Ashley?”

“It’s Avery.” Lucas was the one to correct him. I had a suspicion that Will was goading him and said the wrong name on purpose.

“Right, Avery. Sorry. Well, has he?”

“No.” I cut into my piece of roast.

“He’s modest. He comes from a long line of lawyers and doctors.”

“That’s impressive.” That meant nothing to me.

I started chewing my meat hoping if I didn’t meet his eyes, then he would move on to a different topic, but no, Cat had to step in and make it even more uncomfortable.

“Will graduated in the top five percent of his graduating class at Dartmouth for undergrad. He received a full-ride scholarship to Yale for law school.”

“That’s so cool,” I said through a mouthful of delicious yet chewy beef.

“Cat was the editor of the Yale Law Journal . There hasn’t been another like her since she graduated.”

Cat giggled. “You’re too sweet. I really wasn’t all that special. Though the dean of the school did come to the paper’s office to compliment me on one particular case review I did on environmental law.”

It was like these people were speaking a foreign language and I could barely keep up.

“It’s not too late for you, son. People are going to college older now. You would make a fine lawyer,” Will said.

“I don’t want to be a lawyer,” Lucas said, shooting his dad a look. I could tell this was a conversation they’d had more than once.

Will continued as if he didn’t hear Lucas’s interjection. “What do you do, Amberly?”

“Stop, Dad,” Lucas said sharply.

“What? I can’t ask your girlfriend what she does for work or where she went to school? Not everyone drops out of high school.”

Now it was making sense why Lucas left here at sixteen and never came back.

How could they throw it in his face that he dropped out of school—and in front of his girlfriend?

Fake girlfriend, but they didn’t know that.

I looked to Cat, but she kept her head down and said nothing.

Well, if she didn’t tell her husband about me and my very public scandal, then I wasn’t going to volunteer that information.

“I’m a musician,” I said simply. If he hadn’t heard of me before, then I wasn’t going to list my achievements. He didn’t seem the type to appreciate them anyway.

“A musician. How nice. Can you make a living off music?” Will asked, raising his eyebrows.

The question every single person asks when they hear someone wants to pursue the arts professionally.

It was demeaning. The world consumed art and entertainment insatiably and yet those who make it are expected to do it for pennies, all with the threat that they are replaceable.

“A living” was a spectrum, but what about passion?

Happiness? Creating just for the love of it?

“Yes, I do pretty well for myself,” I said, not elaborating.

“Found yourself a rich girlfriend, Luke? Smart. Maybe you could learn something about ambition from her.”

“Honey,” Cat said, trying to calm Will down, but he was on one.

“We are not talking about this right now, and you need to stop being disrespectful to Avery,” Lucas said with steel in his low voice. I really wished I was anywhere else but here.