Page 20 of Love Is a War Song

“You’re a Fox. Of course you have terrible taste in men.” Red laughed to himself toward the hill and out of sight. I had no idea what that meant, but after seeing that photo in my mother’s room, that sinking feeling grew heavier, as if my stomach was turning into lead.

I opted to take the golf cart only because the size of the truck scared me.

How did people see over the dashboard in those things?

The engine purred to life and I shifted into reverse, barely touching the pedal with my toe, and it sent the thing soaring backward.

I slammed the brake and the momentum flung my torso into the steering wheel. I groaned.

“You all good here?” Lucas’s deep voice came from my right side.

I was winded from the impact but threw a thumbs-up in hopes that he would leave me alone. Just one time on this damn property I’d like to not embarrass myself in front of him.

I heard his feet crunch in the dirt as he approached the passenger side.

Rubbing my clavicle, I looked up and wanted to drive away.

Lucas had placed his hands on the roof of the cart and was leaning in.

It was hot, effortless, like that smolder Flynn Rider does in Tangled .

He was wearing a white T-shirt today with his black cowboy hat.

He cuffed the sleeves of his shirt, which revealed more of his biceps.

It was like I was looking at a Native American James Dean.

Where did this guy get off looking like that?

“Where are you headed?” he asked.

“To the grocery store.”

“In this?” He lifted his eyebrow. His face was full of skepticism.

“Yup! Could you tell me which way it is?”

“The store?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not driving this thing into town. Just take the truck.”

“I don’t know how to drive a big truck.”

He rolled his eyes as he pushed himself off the golf cart. “Park the cart back where it was and c’mon.” He didn’t look behind to make sure I followed his orders. The smug bastard knew that I would.

I met him at the back of the truck.

“You’re taking me?”

He nodded. I clapped in delight and skipped toward the passenger door, until my shirt was caught and I was yanked back.

“Whoa, where do you think you’re goin’?” Lucas asked me. I twirled around to look at him, but he didn’t let go in time and I twisted into him in an accidental embrace.

“To the store.” I looked down at his arm. We squirmed to break apart, looking anywhere but at each other.

He cleared his throat before he said, “You’re driving.”

“I told you I don’t know how to drive a truck.”

“C’mon, Avery, I know you aren’t the helpless girl from days ago.

You got a backbone and I’m gonna teach you how to drive this truck.

Now are you going to be brave and get behind the wheel to help yourself, or are you gonna be that scared pop princess I met that had everyone making decisions for her? ”

Had that only been a few days ago? I could barely remember who that girl was.

I nodded.

“Say it.”

“What.”

“That you’re brave.”

“I’m brave.” I laughed it off, rolling my eyes.

“I’m not convinced.”

“We need to get going, Lucas.”

“No, I’m not risking my life in that truck until you sound a little more confident.”

“Then you drive.”

Lucas crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at me.

“Fine!” I grunted. “I’m brave!” I threw my arms wide open.

“There we go!”

I hopped in the truck; the seat was so far back my feet couldn’t even touch the pedals. Lucas was a big guy. I adjusted the seat and started the engine.

“All right, you know how to drive an automatic?” He looked up at me through his eyebrows, teasing me.

“Ha-ha.” I shifted the truck into drive and gently eased the gas. He had parked the truck in the middle of the open space, so there was no need to back out. I maneuvered the truck in a slow arc, cutting back to the dirt path that led down the property to that other street.

I couldn’t believe I hadn’t left this property in days.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had stayed in a place this long when I wasn’t on a set, in a trailer working.

When I had any downtime, I was always going out with friends, hitting up bars and restaurants.

It was nice spending this much time with myself.

I liked my own company. Without everything that happened, I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to face myself in those quiet moments.

I certainly never gave myself the time for introspection.

Sometimes it was just easier to keep my head down and grind.

“You’re doin’ great. See what you can do when you put your mind to it?”

“I’m going ten miles an hour.” I rolled my eyes.

“We’re still goin’.” He shrugged. “Now when we come to the road, make a left.”

I followed his directions, making our way into town.

It was adorable. It looked like a set designer was told to create a cute old Western town and they whipped up Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.

The old street was flanked by sidewalks made of brick and antique-looking streetlamps.

One huge building had a gorgeous mural. The Native American influence was prevalent.

I noticed bronze statues of cowboys on horses and lots of flowers in barrels.

I had to make sure my mouth didn’t drop open in awe, because while I loved Los Angeles, no neighborhood could come close to replicating this quiet and sleepy town.

He had me keep going straight down the road and we passed a bank with a huge clock—the hour and minute hands were pieces of a broken arrow. I loved it.

“You grew up here?” I asked, because this place was Disney Channel–show perfect. We just needed a laugh track to follow us around on our shenanigans.

“Born and raised.” Lucas was leaning back in the passenger seat, his arm hanging out of the rolled-down window.

“Do you like it here?”

“Yeah. I got no desire to leave.”

“You’ve never wanted to leave Broken Arrow? Go travel and see some places?”

He sucked in a breath through his teeth and adjusted his tight pants around his thighs. “I mean, sure, yeah. One day I s’pose.”

“Like where?” I was getting exasperated. Was it too much to ask for a little conversation? I stopped at a red light and turned to give him my full, undivided attention. I snapped in his face. “Wake up! What happened to the man that said ‘Be brave’?”

“I’m just taking things one day at a time. That’s how I live. Sure, one day I’d like to see Machu Picchu.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere. Why Machu Picchu?”

“?’Cause I’d like to see a place built by Indigenous people that’s still there. The Inca who built it are gone, but it’s a big fuck-you to the myth that Brown and Black people needed the help of aliens to build massive civilizations and structures.”

“Okay, that’s really cool! You gotta go!”

“One day.”

“Maybe that’s sooner than you think.”

“Oh yeah?” He turned with his crooked smile and my heart sputtered. I looked away to focus on the traffic light.

“Yeah, with the ranch saved and settled, you’ll have more free time.”

He laughed. “It’s gonna be a year or more before the ranch is running smoothly and generating profit. I’m stuck in Oklahoma till then.”

“Well, it’s a nice dream to have.”

“I guess it is.”

I drummed my thumbs on the steering wheel until the light finally turned green.

“What about you?” he asked. “You seem like you’ve been to some cool places.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve been to London to film at the Pinewood Studios lot and did some press in Paris.

But lately I’ve been working and performing gigs in the States.

I did get an email about possibly performing at a festival in Ibiza, but that was before…

” I trailed off. I didn’t want to bring all that up with him and risk getting another lecture about how shitty my music was.

“It will all blow over.”

“Sure, once I get enrolled and prove myself with everyone here.”

“Or even without that. You know how many people do real fucked-up stuff and then a year later they are promoting new projects making people a lot of money. That could be you.” He indicated for me to turn right onto a street, and I could see the grocery store a few blocks away.

“I don’t want to be that kind of person. This is something that will linger and keep coming back up. I want to do right and make it right, not sweep it under the rug and pretend like it never happened.”

“I can respect that.”

“And you’re gonna respect my music.” I turned my nose up. It wouldn’t be easy, but I was determined to make everything right.

I was too scared to park close to the store, in a spot between two sedans. I drove to the far end of the parking lot where there were four empty spots in a row and attempted to park. I was crooked, so I cranked the truck into reverse to attempt it again.

I tried four more times to straighten out and didn’t get any better.

“All right, enough,” Lucas said through laughter.

Our eyes met across the truck cab, an armrest separating us. I could feel my face heat in my attempt not to laugh with him. I really tried my best. I hopped down out of the truck. Despite our newfound truce, I was still determined to make him pay dearly for those insults about my music.