Page 10 of Love Is a War Song
A door slammed somewhere in the house and the sound made me jump. My question must have really pissed off Lottie.
“I’m sorry,” I said to the men. I’d ruined their dinner.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s always like this. Miss Lottie has a short fuse, but she always cools off and comes back,” Red said to reassure me. He was the kindest one and therefore I liked him the best.
Davey was hard to read, and Lucas I wished would go ride off on a horse somewhere and never come back.
“Why do you stay?” I blurted out my question. If Lottie was so mercurial, and my mom even left, then why did these men stay? Was it just for their jobs? It looked like they wouldn’t have them for much longer.
“That’s what family does—you stay, even when it’s hard.” Red wiped his mouth on his napkin and stood up with his plate and left for the kitchen.
“Does he mean real blood family, or like this job feels like everyone is a family?” I asked Davey, continuing to ignore Lucas right next to me.
“Red’s your cousin twice removed, I think,” Davey answered. Once I had access to the internet again, I was going to have to Google what twice removed means.
“What about you?”
“Nah, my family is from Tahlequah. I’m Cherokee, but we probably share some cousins from way back in the day.”
“So Red is my family too.” I smiled. Yesterday I had no one and today I met two family members.
One was a little deranged. I hoped Lucas hid that gun somewhere Lottie would never be able to find it.
“So, you guys just found yourselves here?” I waved my hand in Lucas’s general vicinity but refused to personally acknowledge him.
“Basically.” Lucas stood up from his seat. “You done?” he asked Davey.
Davey nodded and Lucas grabbed both their plates and went to the kitchen.
I scooped my last few bites into my mouth, stopping myself from licking the plate, and went to help put the food away.
The men washed the dishes and when they weren’t looking, I swiped another biscuit, shoving it into my mouth.
“You don’t have to smuggle food like a squirrel. If you’re still hungry you can eat more,” Lucas said from directly behind me, his lips close to my ear.
It startled me and I accidentally swallowed the partially chewed biscuit. It got stuck in my throat and I was gasping for air. A piece of biscuit flew out of my mouth before I could cover it. I’ll be damned if I let these people see food spittle as I die.
“Easy now,” Lucas said as his large hand slapped my back. The motion dislodged the stuck biscuit, and it went soaring out of my mouth and hit Davey right on the back of his neck.
Red howled in laughter. Davey grunted and wiped at his neck with the dish towel.
Hoarse coughs persisted as I tried to catch my breath. Lucas’s hand was still on my back and his patting had eased to soft circles. I could feel his calluses through my thin shirt. His rubbing left gooseflesh in its wake.
“Sorry,” I wheezed out to Davey as Red handed me a glass of water.
I drained the glass in one gulp and stepped away from Lucas, avoiding his face in my embarrassment at having nearly choked to death within my first couple hours here and my body’s reaction to him touching me.
I was determined to keep him at arm’s length since he was my number one hater.
What was it about being a woman? When a handsome man was mean we still found him attractive? More so, often? I was going to need so much therapy once I left this place.
“I wasn’t smuggling food.” I turned around on my heel and crossed my arms. The sounds of ceramic plates being stacked on top of one another faded away as I met Lucas’s gray stare.
He smirked, seeing through my lie. This motherfucker.
I had been confronted with nothing but hostility—my fans turning on me, my label on the verge of dumping me, and my friends abandoning me.
I had had enough. To add insult to injury, I had this random employee of my mother’s mother judging me every spare second he had.
All I wanted was more food and some sleep.
“Some thank people when they have been helped, you know.” He had the audacity to wink at me. But he was right.
“Thank you,” I said on a breath. “Listen, Lucas, we have to share space. You don’t want me here and I don’t want to be here, but neither of us has control in this situation.
How about you stay the hell away from me and once I can leave, we just forget about each other and go about our merry way. Sound good?”
“Whatever you say, princess.” He took a step toward me and leaned forward, pressing me back into the granite counter. His arm reached behind me and my eyes zeroed in on his corded muscle.
“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice nothing more than a raspy whisper.
“Watch your head.”
“My head?” I turned and he opened the upper cabinet behind me, putting the clean glasses away.
Then he winked again and turned around to continue putting dishes away. My cheeks were inflamed, as was my rage. I stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs, leaving the three of them to finish cleaning. I needed as much space as the house provided from Lucas the Devil.
I stopped at the landing, catching sight of Lottie as she started turning out all the lights on the first floor.
I felt like I should have a moment with her alone, away from everyone, to thank her and apologize for my invasive question.
She headed up the stairs slowly, as if the day weighed heavy on her shoulders and her only refuge was sleep.
She looked surprised to see me waiting for her.
“Lost already?” she asked.
“No, I just…well…we haven’t really had the opportunity to talk or anything.”
“There is time for all that later. Get some rest, we start early in the morning.” Lottie walked down the hallway and shut her door.
Her tone wasn’t unkind, but it wasn’t warm either.
She was the most impossible person to get a read on.
Did she like me? Did she hate me? Why did she agree to let me come here?
I couldn’t ponder on these thoughts for long.
A cordless phone was charging on the counter outside my bathroom and I took it with me to the chicken room, pressing the speaker to my ear while it rang.
“Yes?” My mother’s tone was icy.
“Hi, Mom, it’s me.”
“Oh, Avery? Honey, I thought it was my mother. Why are you calling on the landline?” She already sounded annoyed.
“I just wanted to let you know that I made it here.”
“You couldn’t text me back? I’ve sent you six messages. I’ve been worried sick, Avery.”
“I could’ve, if my phone hadn’t been stolen from me while on the bus.”
“What?”
“And my purse.”
“Avery…” She tsked.
“I know, but it wasn’t my fault—”
“Nothing is ever your fault. I’m sure you weren’t aware of your surroundings like I taught you to be. All book smarts but no street smarts or sense.”
I wanted to let her know I was safe and she wanted to go on a criticizing rant—as if she hadn’t given me enough of those.
“So glad to hear your relief that I am fine.”
“Of course I’m relieved, but you just added more to my plate.
Now not only do I have to try to save your record deal and album, I have to freeze your credit cards and turn off your phone so no Greyhound weirdo tries to steal your identity or all your money.
I just love doing thankless task after thankless task. ”
The exhaustion was hitting me and her remarks stung, making my eyes water.
“Can you please have a new card sent to me here and new phone?”
“I’ll get to it when I get to it. If I’m being honest with you, unplugging during this media circus is the best thing you can do. And the least my mother can do is pay for your upkeep for a week or two.”
“No, Mom, I really don’t want to impose on everyone here.”
“Then you email our financial adviser and fix it yourself. I’m busy saving your career.”
She hung up. No I love you, chin up, it will get better pep talk before saying good night.
My mother didn’t have the easiest job in the world, but she wasn’t exactly an on-call emergency room doctor, literally saving lives.
We struggled so much for years and right now I needed my mom.
I needed a hug and for someone to care enough to tell me that it would be okay in the end.
That I wouldn’t forever be defined by one bad mistake.
I was stuck here around more people than I ever thought I could claim as family and had never felt so alone.