Page 46 of Love Beyond Reach (Morna’s Legacy #11)
C onall Castle — Six Weeks Later
I would never be ready to say goodbye to him, but I knew it was time. The spell books were in place, the plaque was painted by Hamish’s expert hand, and what I knew of the story to come was ready to be told to my brother.
Hamish and I arrived at the castle on the day of Elspeth’s death. While I’d kept my promise to her to be back in two months, her labor had come early, and she passed shortly after the delivery.
The weeks that followed were filled with sadness. Most of my days were spent rocking sweet little Arran and holding a heartbroken Eoin while Alasdair dealt with his grief alone.
If not for Mary, Alasdair would’ve remained lost in his grief for so much longer.
Exactly one month after her death, Mary went to his bedchamber and spent hours inside.
I suspect none of us will ever know the words she said to him, but I know her well enough to believe she treated him with the tough love he needed to get up and carry on despite the ache in his heart.
I’d told Alasdair of my plan earlier, but it had been during the deepest depths of his grief, and I knew it wouldn’t fully hit him until I brought him down to the spell room.
“Ye canna do this, Morna. I canna raise them on my own. I canna bear to lose ye both.”
Elspeth’s plea remained a heavy weight inside my mind. She would’ve been so angry with me for leaving him, but I knew the future where they did not. I truly did have no choice.
“If Henry doesna believe me dead, he will gather support from other clans, and yer life here will be overturned. I’ll not have blood shed over me.”
“We can hide ye here, Morna. We can make them believe ye are dead. No one will ever have to see ye.”
Reaching for his hand, I led him down into my spell room.
“No. Such a secret would never keep, and I willna put ye or yer boys in danger. And ye willna be raising them alone. We both know Mary has been the ruler of this castle for as long as she’s worked within its walls. Ye will have her to lean on, and ye will do well.”
Alasdair seemed to have an endless flow of tears at the ready. As his breath caught on a sob, I paused in the stairwell and threw my arms around him.
I wouldn’t cry in front of him. It wouldn’t be fair to place my own heartbreak on him, but I’d never hurt so deeply in my life. Alasdair was my best friend and the only family I had left.
“I doona want to do this without ye, lass. I doona have the strength for it.”
I held him as if my life depended on it. If I could’ve stopped time right then, I would’ve.
“Ye have more strength than ye know. I know what lies ahead, and ye’ve been through the worst yer life has planned for ye. Ye will be happy again. I promise ye.”
He wept into my shoulder. Loud sobs of heartache came from his chest. He sank onto the steps, and I held him as he cried.
“ B y the time he is grown, Eoin willna remember the spells ye did in front of him. He willna believe any of this. He’ll think me mad.”
Hours later, cried out for the time being, Alasdair and I were able to discuss all of the final arrangements surrounding what would appear to be my death.
He stood, staring at my open spell books and the painted portrait of Donal MacChristy’s daughter, with wide, disbelieving eyes.
“I know, and I doona care what ye decide to tell him as long as ye force him to wed the lass. It willna be Donal’s daughter that he marries. The lass who arrives here is the only one who can save yer family.”
“Could ye not simply come back yerself and save us? By then, ye will be in no danger. All of this will be but a distant memory.”
Even if I didn’t already know the destinies of Eoin and the lass from centuries ahead, I wouldn’t have wanted to return. Leaving once was already killing me. I never wanted to do it again.
“No, I’m afraid ’tis destined to happen just this way. Can ye promise me ye will do what I ask ye?”
Alasdair nodded.
“Where will ye go, Morna? What will ye do if the spell over Jerry canna be broken?”
I loved Hamish. He was kind and good, and our shared magic helped us relate to one another in a way I would never relate to anyone else. But, my soul didn’t long for him.
“I will return with Hamish to Allen territory where I will learn total mastery of all the magic I possess. Afterwards, we will see. Hamish wants me to marry him. I doona know if I can give up on Jerry.”
Alasdair placed his hand on my back to lead me from the spell room. He knew what he had to do, and the moment the illusion of me was buried, he would seal the room.
“If ’tis Jerry ye are meant for, doona ever give up on him.
Hamish’s love for ye is pure, lass. He wishes for ye to be happy, even if ’tis not with him.
Come lass, I’ve arranged for a portrait to be painted of us all.
I must have some way to look at ye after ye are gone.
I only wish I’d done the same with Elspeth.
We will have one last evening together then I will bid ye farewell. ”
Tears I promised myself I wouldna cry fell as a desperate need to be near him filled me. I flung my arms around him once more.
“If there was any other way, I would never leave ye. Ye canna begin to know how much I love ye. There has never been a lass alive with a greater brother than mine.”
Kissing the top of my hair, Alasdair whispered, “I know exactly how much ye love me for ’tis only a fraction of how much I love ye. Ye may be gone from here, but my love will never leave ye. Ye will feel it inside ye every day of yer life.”
And I did. Until Alasdair took his last breath several decades later, he was with me every single day.