Page 28 of Love Beyond Reach (Morna’s Legacy #11)

E veryone gathered to see Father and Henry off on their hunting trip.

They planned to be away three days, and I found myself eager to see them gone.

I needed distance from Henry to decide the best way to end things.

I couldn’t marry him. Even if Jerry hadn’t returned, the moment with him above my spell room had sealed it.

I couldn’t marry someone who caused me to seize up so completely when trying to reveal one of the most important parts of myself.

Jerry cast angry glances in my direction when Henry neared me as we all joined near the stables to say our goodbyes.

I ignored them each and every time. I wouldn’t allow myself to feel guilty for anything that had transpired between Henry and me, and I couldn’t very well behave as if we were anything other than betrothed in front of everyone.

“I’ll miss ye, lass. When I return, we shall make plans to ride to my territory and for the wedding.”

I wouldn’t show him false enthusiasm, but I wouldn’t be unkind to him. He’d done nothing to deserve it. “Doona let my father intimidate ye. He likes to behave as if he is a better hunter than he is.”

He moved in to kiss me. Although I stiffened, I allowed the brief touch of his lips.

As he went to mount his horse, Jerry stomped away. I suspected it was so he wouldn’t be tempted to shove Henry off the moment he got on.

Father came up to me next. The same dreadful feeling I’d had in front of him a few nights before came flooding back. I opened my arms to him and squeezed him as tightly as I could.

An urgency I couldn’t explain filled me, and I hurried to return the words he’d shared with me in my bedchamber.

“I love ye, Father. Be safe. Doona venture into parts of the woods ye doona know.”

He kissed the top of my head before pulling away.

“I love ye, too, lass. I’ll stay to the woods I know if ye agree to stay on castle grounds while I’m away. Doona go into the village.”

For the first time in my life, Father’s protectiveness felt more like a gift and less like a burden. I nodded in agreement as he walked away.

We all stood huddled in a group as we waved them off. When we could no longer see them, Jerry approached. I was in no mood to speak with him.

“Stay away from me. Do ye think I wished to agree to marry him? Ye’ve no one to blame but yerself. Now, I must spend the day pondering how to break the engagement without causing a clash between our two clans.”

“Do ye need some help, lass? I’m certain we can find a solution together. I canna bear for that man to put his lips on ye again.”

I wanted to be alone—entirely alone—for the next three days.

“No. If ye come near me, I’ll hit ye again.”

At least Jerry had the wits to withhold his laughter until he was too far away for me to strike him.

T ime alone did little to encourage any plan that seemed worthy.

I ended up spending most of my time lounging in bed, reading, and calling servants to have warm bath water brought to my chambers.

If I couldn’t think of a good solution, I could at least allow myself to be a little indulgent while Father was away.

On the second night of their trip, I lay soaking in a quickly-cooling tub of water when the handle to my bedchamber door turned.

“Eoin, if ’tis ye lad, I need ye to stay outside. Go and demand that yer da play with ye. I’ll find ye in a while.”

The door to my bedchamber opened despite my protest, and Jerry stepped casually inside.

I sloshed more than a little water out onto the floor in an effort to cover myself.

“Get out of here this instant or I’ll scream. Ye canna just enter a lassie’s bedchamber any time ye wish it.”

He leaned against the door, crossed his arms, and stared back at me as if he were bored.

“Ye willna scream, for ye know I willna glance in the water nor touch ye unless ye wish it. Ye’ve avoided me for well over a day now. I decided ’twas worth risking another beating to see ye.”

A beating was a rather dramatic way to describe it—his face showed no signs of my palm.

“I told ye I wished to be alone.”

“Aye, I know, and why is that precisely? I have my suspicions.”

Sometimes Jerry was infuriatingly sure of his ability to read me.

“Ye have suspicions?”

“Aye, I do. I think ye want me so badly that ye are frightened to be near me. I think ye know that if we were to spend time together while yer father and Henry are away, I would end up in yer bed, and ye doona wish to carry a guilty conscience for bedding one man whilst engaged to another.”

I was suddenly far too aware of the nakedness of my body and Jerry’s close proximity to it. While he may not have been able to see down into the water now, only a few steps prevented him being able to see every inch of me.

“I can assure ye that no such thought has entered my mind. Please leave me so that I might dress.”

“I’ll leave ye, but the moment ye are dressed, I intend to step back inside this room.”

Relief washed over me, and I loosened the grip on my breasts just a bit.

“Whatever for?”

“To kiss ye, lass. To kiss ye until every memory of Henry’s lips on ye are washed clean from yer mind.

Ye doona mind his touch. I could see it in the way ye leaned into his kiss yesterday.

’Twas not like Seumas’ kiss where ye tolerated it simply to torture me.

Part of ye enjoys Henry’s touch. I canna sleep until I know I’ve changed that. ”

I couldn’t tell if I began to tremble in anticipation or from the cooling water, but when Jerry stepped out into the hallway, I was trembling all over.

I dried myself quickly and glanced around the room with terror over what I should dress in. A full gown was foolish this late in the evening—to place on my nightgown was inviting trouble.

With Henry, I wouldn’t have dreamed of it. With Jerry, it was all I wanted.

For with him, even trouble seemed relatively safe. He would protect and cherish me, and it was all I’d wanted for months.

Taking a breath for courage, I slipped on my sleeping gown and opened the door to let him inside.