Page 39 of Love Beyond Reach (Morna’s Legacy #11)

M acNeal Castle — Two Weeks Later

I t took less than a day of settling into his own territory, in his own home, around his own servants for me to see exactly what everyone warned me about Henry MacNeal.

The man was an arrogant brute who thought himself better than anyone below his station.

He was disingenuous in everything he said, and I suspected that his tendency toward violence was something he struggled to restrain daily.

If not for Hamish’s presence at the castle, I would’ve fled with Mary and Kip the day after we arrived. But the one positive thing about being in Henry’s home was that I rarely saw him.

He never visited my room, he hadn’t touched me since we arrived, and his days were spent tending to tasks left unattended while he was at Conall Castle.

It meant that I had the castle, or at least the rooms he’d given me, entirely to myself. I spent my days with Hamish. He taught me more in the span of a fortnight than I’d learned in the past decade.

The lessons were a glorious distraction from so many things I didn’t want to think about. Unfortunately, Hamish didn’t allow me to stay in bliss for long. On the day Jerry and Grier were set to arrive at the castle, the mysterious druid told me he was leaving.

“Must ye go? I could spend years working with ye and not learn all that I wish to.”

“Aye I must, lass, though leaving ye ’twill sadden me more than ye know. If I dinna already know yer heart belonged to another, I would’ve spent the past fortnight trying to earn yer heart rather than improving yer spells.”

I could never tell when Hamish was teasing me—he so often said things I found surprising. I’d never mentioned Jerry to him, and I suspected he knew the truth of my feelings for Henry.

“Just who do ye think my heart belongs to?”

He shrugged in a way that only accentuated the length of his arms.

“I doona know, but I know ’tis not Laird MacNeal.”

I didn’t want to speak about Jerry. I only wanted to beg Hamish to stay.

“Please doona leave. I need ye. I went too long without someone to teach me.”

Dropping to his knees, Hamish situated himself on the floor and patted the ground so that I would join him.

“I must leave, but I will always be willing to teach ye. Ye are welcome in Allen territory any time. Those with magic are safe there, and our practice is looked at in a verra different way. Ye would like it.”

Perhaps I would follow him. Once I ended my engagement for good and Elspeth’s babe was safely delivered, I could go to Allen territory and devote myself to a life of learning. There were many other possible futures that seemed much worse to me.

“Do ye mean it? I will come then. There are things I must see to first, but later, I will come.”

Hamish smiled and nodded.

“’Tis settled then. I shall count the days until I see ye again.”

I laughed, again unsure if his small flirtations were genuine or meant in jest.

“How far is yer home from here?”

“’Tis closer from here than ’tis from Conall Castle. Though in truth, ’tis not all that far from Conall Castle either.”

I thought of the months Jerry had been away while searching for him. It had to be further than Hamish realized.

“It took a man I knew weeks to reach the village when he went in search of ye. How is that not too far?”

“’Tis our magic. The forest surrounding us is spelled. Unless we know ye are coming and can clear the path for ye, anyone searching will have a verra difficult time finding us. ’Tis a wonder the lad ever found it. This lad ye speak of—is he the one who holds yer heart?”

“No one holds my heart, Hamish.”

“Aye, someone does. For if not, ye would belong to me by now. Did ye know, lass, that if I were to say four simple words, I would break the spell ye’ve cast on yerself and ye would fall to pieces here in my arms?

There is a pain inside ye that ye have buried so deep ’twill poison ye.

I understand what ’tis to hurt, lass, but hiding from how ye feel only keeps ye blind. ”

While the thought had crossed my mind the day I found Jerry and Grier together, I’d not truly thought it possible. Had my feelings truly been so overwhelming in that moment that I’d cast a spell on myself unwittingly?

“Do ye mean I’ve a spell on me in a literal or figurative sense, Hamish?”

He smiled. “Literal, lass. Quite a powerful one. Do ye wish me to break it?”

Bracing for the pain I knew would come, I nodded.

Rather than the breaking of a dam, it was like a slow trickle of rain. The feelings came in a slow steady stream. As Hamish opened his arms to me, I leaned into him and told him everything.

B y nightfall , Hamish was gone. While a sense of misery hung over me with such intensity that I had to remind myself to breathe under the weight of it, I was grateful that I felt like myself for the first time in weeks.

I could see things clearly. I knew what I had to do.

I couldn’t marry Henry. And I had to find out if Hamish was right. His last words to me would haunt me until I did.

“ The lad still holds yer heart, lass. If he truly loved her, ’twould have been released back to ye.

I suspect she’s spelled him. The only way for ye to know for certain is to get him far away from her and see if he begins to wage a war within himself.

If he is spelled, he canna do so while near her. ”