Page 27 of Love Beyond Reach (Morna’s Legacy #11)
J erry
T he lass could hit with more force than most men.
If I wasn’t already completely in love with her, I would’ve fallen for her right then.
It knocked me off balance, and I stumbled until I caught myself on a wooden post of one of the stalls.
When I steadied myself, her eyes were as vibrantly green as I remembered them, though there was more fire in their center, and the heat of her anger was palpable.
I would allow her to scream and release her anger however she wanted.
Her rage could never match the anger I felt at myself for being such a fool.
As my vision cleared, I looked her over more carefully.
My eyes stopped at her chest. Her gown was pulled loose, her breasts nearly exposed.
I wanted to kill the man that had touched her.
She was screaming at me, and the moment I stood upright, she charged me again, her fists pounding against my chest as I moved to find support from the wall. She was sobbing, and her words came between gasping breaths.
“Ye were gone. How dare ye…how dare ye come back here? Everything ye said…the last words between us…ye made it clear I wouldna see ye again.”
I grabbed her wrists and pulled her arms against me, holding her close.
She looked hard into my eyes, and all I wanted to do was kiss her.
Even angry and sobbing, she was the most beautiful lass in this century or any other.
I refrained from doing so. I worried that in her anger, she might bite my tongue off.
My words were foolish, but my own anger rose the more I looked at her exposed chest. It made me angry at myself for encouraging her to move on.
“Do ye wish me to leave again? Ye are nearly as undressed as I found ye in yer bedchamber so many nights ago. ’Tis clear ye dinna miss me at all.”
Magic slipped from her as my words filled her with more rage. Fire shot through my hands, scalding me as I released my grip on her. Astonished at how much her powers had grown in just a few weeks, I watched on with amazement as she screamed at me.
M orna
O nly twice before had my emotions caused magic to leave me unbidden, but as Jerry accused me of callously moving on, I could no longer control the waves of power coursing through me.
There was nothing conscious about the magic that left me.
One moment he held me tight against him.
The next moment heat soared through my hands, pushing him and pinning him away from me.
He didn’t seem frightened and didn’t try to move as I continued to release every feeling inside me.
“Doona ye pretend to know how I did or dinna miss ye. Ye’ve no idea the pain yer leaving caused me. And ye dare to chastise me for doing precisely what ye ordered me to. Eight weeks ye said…eight weeks and I should marry another.
“All I thought of for eight weeks was ye. And even then, I couldna bring myself to believe ye’d truly gone. Even if ye’d found the druid, I thought ye would return here and allow me to send ye back once I learned how.
“I held on to hope for far too long. I even found ye, Jerry. I cast a spell, and I saw ye there…at yer home…in yer own time. ’Twas only then that I truly said goodbye to ye, and it broke my heart to do so.”
He started to speak but I interrupted before he could finish.
“What did…”
“No, Jerry. I’m speaking. Ye dinna allow me a word when ye left so I will speak all that I wish to now. Everything is yer fault. I couldna even bring myself to practice magic after ye left. I thought ye were my friend. I thought ye cared. I would never treat someone I cared about as ye treated me.”
The more I spoke, the more my anger abated. When I was finally finished, all I felt was a deep empty ache inside.
He allowed the silence to hang between us until I released him from the spell that held him pinned. When he was free, he neared me slowly, hesitantly, as if he was afraid I would spook like an unbroken horse.
“Lass, I dinna return to my own time. I already told ye the druid was not in Allen territory. They’d not seen him in some time. What did ye see that made ye believe I was gone from here?”
The vision had been so clear that I’d never questioned it. But, of course, if Jerry was here now, it couldn’t possibly have been true. What then had I seen?
I allowed him to take my hands as I thought back on the vision. I took my time in relaying every detail of it to him. When I finished, Jerry kissed both of my palms as he spoke gently.
“I doona claim to know much of magic, but I know from my time with Grier just how fickle it can be. Ye said that ye placed me at the center of yer mind. I believe that ye did, but mayhap yer question was different than ye believed it to be. Mayhap what ye saw was not where I was at that time, but where I will one day be. Mayhap it was proof that ye will find a way to see me home.”
Jerry’s suggestion did little to mend the ache inside me.
If he was correct, then it simply meant I would be forced to lose him all over again.
That even after returning here, he still wished to return to his time and leave me.
It angered me and tugged at my already shredded heart.
The past few days had been disastrously difficult. I no longer wanted to be near him.
If he was here, I would help him, but getting close to him would only make it more difficult once I found a way to get him home.
“Let go of me, Jerry. ’Tis unkind of ye to mislead me as ye do.”
He didn’t release his grip, and I did little to try and move away.
“Mislead ye, lass? How do ye think I’ve done that?”
I was so tired of crying. I didn’t want him to see how much I cared, but my voice was choked as I answered him.
“Each time ye touch me, I feel as if ye want me. Ye are jealous of men who desire me, but ye doona want me for yerself. I am worth more than that, Jerry. Ye take advantage of my own feelings for ye, but ye still wish to return to yer own time. Ye still wish to leave me.”
“No.” He reached up to brush the tears from my cheeks.
“Ye are wrong. For some time now, I’ve cared nothing about returning to my own time.
I know what I said when I left. I was a damned fool for saying what I did, but I dinna go after the druid for me.
I went after him because I believe just as strongly as yer brother does that ye need help growing yer powers.
I went there for ye, lass, but I’ll not be going anywhere without ye again. ”
I wanted so desperately to believe him, but his own words had already contradicted him.
“Jerry, ye just said that I must have seen yer future in the spell. Ye know then that ye still leave here. If ye truly care for me as much as ye say ye do, ’twould not be the future I would have seen.”
He smiled and moved one hand through my hair so that he held the back of my neck.
“Ye also said there was a woman. I’ve no wife, lass. Mayhap the shadow ye saw was ye.”
I would never leave my own time. I loved my brother and nephew and friends too much.
“No. I canna ever leave here, Jerry. I doona want to.”
He nodded and pulled my head closer to his own.
“In my experience, ’tis best to never swear off anything. But lass, if ye stay here, so shall I. I can promise ye that. I mean to kiss ye now. ’Tis all I’ve dreamt of since I left. Please doona deny me.”
Just as Jerry’s lips neared mine, my father’s voice bellowed from the end of the stables.
“Jerry, are ye in there, lad? Alasdair told me ye’d returned. We’ve all missed ye.”
I exhaled, realizing that the shadows had prevented him from seeing us. Stepping into the light, I called to him.
“Aye, Father, he’s here. I came to welcome him back myself.”
Nearing Jerry, my father met him with a hug.
“Did she tell ye all of the good news, lad? So much has happened while ye were away. Mary and Kip were married. Elspeth and Eoin are expecting another child, and Morna has found herself betrothed.”
Jerry looked as if he’d been stabbed as he stepped out of my father’s embrace. His eyes were cold as he looked at me.
“No, she told me nothing.”
Father didn’t pick up on the sudden tension between us. Slapping Jerry’s back, he took my arm and began to lead me from the stables.
“Ach, well we are all glad ye’ve returned. I need ye and Kip to ready my and Henry’s horses. We leave at sunset on a hunting trip to celebrate his betrothal to Morna.”