Page 8 of Look My Way (Bloody Desires #1)

Liam

Most of my days have been spent in bed and with multiple check-ins from Daniel. His partner came by once too when he couldn’t. He said he was occupied during a house call, but why would he do it alone?

Things were really starting not to add up with that man lately.

When he thought I was asleep, I saw him sneak off to my office, and he didn’t return to bed for hours.

He also keeps getting secret phone calls around midnight.

Are they from Jared? It’s not like I can look even if I want to.

Daniel always keeps his phone on him, and when he leaves it on the charger during his morning solo showers, it’s locked tight with a password he’d never give me.

Luckily Daniel’s nearly round-the-clock treatment of helping me feel better only lasted three days.

He’s back at work at regular hours today, and I might be able to leave the house so I can breathe again.

My home was once my favorite place to be.

My little safe haven with all my books, painted rocks, garden, and other items that made me smile whenever I came across them.

But then Daniel started coming over more and spending the night.

He’d be here on his days off too, all day long, hovering over me.

When he came around for lunch an hour ago, he smelled like a different cologne. It was more flowery and sweet.

I almost asked about it but there was no point.

He’d only lie or make me out to be crazy, saying my medicines were affecting my sense of smell.

Is he screwing around with more than just Jared?

Maybe something else is going on entirely.

Maybe I’m crazy. There’s been zero proof of him cheating, only assumptions and gut feelings.

If I found hard evidence, would I leave him then?

Who knows. Anyone else would say to leave now, but they wouldn’t understand.

Daniel is different. His love is different.

It could be worse. He jumps for me when there’s something I really want, comes home when he says he will, never sneaks out in the night, and is always in my bed or asking me over to his.

Except we haven’t been to his apartment in a while.

Has he been swinging by before coming home or before going to work?

All his uniforms, shoes, and everything he needs are here.

Shaking my head, I walk to my office and sit in my chair.

I pull up the window shades to let the sunlight in before opening my computer.

Trying to keep my eyes on the screen is hard.

I want to check my phone again. There have been no new messages from Zavier, which has me both disappointed and relieved.

His messages helped me disappear to a less burdened state of mind, the same way my books do, but they were also dangerous.

If Daniel saw them, these last three days of me being too sick to even tend to my garden or paint would have been more like ten.

Maybe longer. I could say I was fine over and over, but Daniel would mention that the way I was walking was off, or that I’d accidentally put the iron in the fridge again.

I’d say I didn’t remember doing it, and he’d use that against me too.

I do get forgetful at times, but it’s not usually that bad. Not until Daniel wants it to be.

Feeling sluggish, I get up from my chair and search my kitchen for caffeine.

Coffee isn’t my favorite, but I will drink it if it’s my only option.

My stomach doesn’t agree with it most days, so I prefer tea or sugar-free energy drinks.

I freeze at the open back door. Strange.

I haven’t been outside to check on the tomatoes and jalapenos yet.

Or have I? I scratch at my head, realizing Daniel now has me questioning myself more than I used to.

Cursing under my breath, I step into the back yard, but when nothing seems out of place, I return inside and lock the door.

I go back to rummaging through the fridge, and smile when I spot a blue slush Alani in the back.

No idea why coming across something you think you’ve run out of makes a person so happy, like a kid on Christmas, but it does.

It means I can hold off on going to the store today.

The place I once ordered groceries from no longer delivers, and the store that does never has what I need.

This unfortunate conundrum means I need to actually drive to the grocery store, and I don’t know if I’ll have time for my walk if I do.

I’d hate to miss my lunch date tomorrow because Daniel says I’m lacking color in my cheeks or my hands are shaking too much.

Yeah, I can go before I meet Zavier at the restaurant.

The one he has yet to text me info about.

Maybe there’ll be no seeing him one last time after all. Maybe he went away on his own.

My stomach twists. Weird. Is it because I’m excited to hear about what he thought of my book? Or is it because I’m tired of being the one who never walks away first?

It’s also why I stay where I am. Daniel has been here with me through all the bad and good days. He’s never once left my side. Things eventually became too hard for family and friends, but never for him. If anything, he was here more when my condition worsened.

I pop the top on the can, closing the fridge, and my eyes widen when I realize the kitchen curtains are gone. When did that happen? Daniel prefers privacy, so there’s no way he removed them. I walk to the living room and those windows are bare too, with the blinds lifted as high as they’ll go.

Going to my office, I grab my phone from a place I don’t remember setting it and text Daniel.

Me: Did you do something to the windows?

Daniel: What do you mean? What’s wrong with them?

Me: The curtains are gone.

Daniel: What? Baby, do I need to come home early?

Panic rises in me at what that could mean.

Me: No. I . . . must have forgotten I took them down to wash them.

Daniel: You sure?

Me: Yeah.

I start believing my own lie too, out of habit. Yeah, it was me. It’s always me. Is this another one of Daniel’s tricks? No . . . no, it has to be my memory worsening like he said. It’s a side effect of the meds, or due to me not getting enough sleep last night.

I go back to sitting in front of my computer and my phone goes off again.

Daniel: Oh, I meant to tell you yesterday, but I have someone coming by later to give an estimate of those wooden box things you’ve been saying you wanted for your plants. He wants to see the space he’ll be working in and to get some measurements.

My skin jolts.

Me: You’re going to have them built for me?

Daniel: I said I’d always take care of you, didn't I?

Me: Yes.

Daniel: You always seem so surprised when you know no one will ever do for you what I do.

No one has either. Another reason I let him convince me to keep moving forward with us. So he has some flaws. Who doesn’t? And he probably isn’t cheating, and I’m just getting everything mixed up in my head.

Me: I know, and I’m always grateful. I can’t wait to see the finished result.

Daniel: I can’t wait to see you happy.

He does make me happy, but then . . . no, it’s me who ruins it.

I don’t listen and I go against him. I make myself worse and ruin my own days from overdoing it.

The bad days are what I create. Not him.

At least, I was once sure they were, but whenever I’m out around other people, and those moments with Zavier . . . I don’t know.

I don’t answer Daniel back but return to my work, flipping through songs on my playlist until I land on the right one.

I like matching music with scenes. It helps set the mood and get me in the right headspace.

Once I’m there, my fingers fly across the keys, and I don’t stop writing until the doorbell rings.

Must be the guy Daniel hired. Rising from my chair, I pause in front of the office window when I notice the curtains are missing from it too.

I remember them being there before I went to the kitchen.

Shaking my head, I rub my temple and rush toward the loud high-pitched sound coming from the front of the house.

Quickly pulling the door open, my breaths falter as a pair of large brown eyes hook on mine.

Lips twisting into a smile, Zavier steps forward, playing with the pencil over his ear.

“You know, for a second I thought it was Friday, and I almost did a double take at the house number.”

I sputter a laugh, stepping to the side. “I’m guessing you’re here to see the yard?”

“You’ve guessed right. Although I don’t think it was you I spoke with.” He stands taller, narrowing in on me.

“No . . . that was Daniel.” Once again, I don’t mention being in a relationship.

It’s easy to let it slide sometimes when I don’t have anything to show for it on my finger.

Daniel doesn’t buy me jewelry. Not for anything.

This is the kind of stuff he does instead, adding himself more into my world.

The planter boxes won’t be mine. They’ll be ones he’s paid for. Ones he’s had built.

“Ah. Does he reside here as well?” He glances behind me as if hoping to answer his own question.

“No.” I open the door wider, gesturing for him to come in, and he squeezes past me.

His eyes roam all over my living room, taking in the furniture and no doubt the large picture of me and Daniel on the back wall.

I’m looking at him and he’s staring straight ahead.

I don’t even capture all his attention when we’re doing couple shoots for our wedding photos.

“I live here alone. At least for now. He is here a lot, though.”

“Ah. Well, what he’s doing for you is a nice thing. At least, I can only assume it’s for you.”

“Yeah.” I laugh awkwardly, walking behind him to shut the door.

“It’s very bright in here. Almost as if we’re standing back outside.”