Page 16 of Look My Way (Bloody Desires #1)

Liam

What’s become a habit for me to do around Daniel is tossed out the window whenever Zavier appears.

The first thought in my head flies out of my mouth, and I try to backtrack, but he doesn’t let me.

He said sub while holding my book and I .

. . damn, I’m an idiot. What if he reads those books?

His expression was blank as he looked over each cover.

It’s obvious what each title meant and what the stories they belonged to were about.

“ Obey Me .”

“ Spank Me .”

“ Choke Me .”

“ Stalk Me ”

I don’t write like that anymore. At least I didn’t think I did until he came along and started creating those old scenarios in my head again.

It doesn’t mean he’ll link it to me. He doesn’t know my inner desires that never lived outside my dreams until those books and that series. Daniel doesn’t know about them either. I don’t need another reason for him to see me as flawed and broken.

The front door creaks open and keys jingle as Daniel hangs them on the nearby hook. “Baby, you still up?”

“Yeah,” I answer almost too quickly.

“Sorry I’m so late and didn’t get to take you out today.”

“It’s okay.” I step out of the office and into the hallway where he’s now standing.

“You look tired. Why haven’t you been to bed yet?”

“Lost track of time writing, and you said you’d be here for shower time.”

“I did, didn’t I?” His face is remorseful, lips turning downward as he reaches for my face.

His fingers feel wrong on my skin after having Zavier touch me all day.

Did they always, and I just had nothing to compare them to?

No. I love Daniel. I do. Or I thought I did.

“Well, I’m here now. Want to turn the water on while I check on something? I’ll be there as soon as I’m done.”

“Sure.” I wait until he heads for my office with his phone before rushing off to my en-suite bathroom.

I strip out of my clothes at the door, tossing them in the hamper before stepping onto the cold tile to turn the shower knob.

Sticking my hand under the water, I don’t retract it until it’s warm enough, and then I slowly step into the steam.

The curtain moves behind me, and I close my eyes as a warm body presses to the back of mine.

Lips caress my ear, and I picture Zavier’s tongue licking the drops on my shoulders and his fingers teasing my nipples. It’s almost as though he never left as I remember his pine, musky scent barreling into my nose.

My body is forced to turn around, but I still don’t open my eyes, my body shuddering as teeth graze my neck and each hard nub.

“Mi carino,” are the words I play in my head as a hand wraps around my cock, but the beautiful fantasy is over the moment Daniel speaks.

“Let’s finish this in the bedroom,” he says lowly in my ear, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. That also feels wrong, and my mind briefly goes to the sweet caress of Zavier’s lips grazing over my knuckles like a cool breeze during a hot day.

I open my eyes and bring Daniel’s hand to my neck, desperate to find a reason to stay here. This is the man I plan to marry and I’m wanting him to be someone else. Daniel could be what I need again. I can make him be. I’ve done it before.

“I want to stay here,” I say. “I want you to slam me against the wall and hold me up by my neck. Get rough with me. Make it hurt a little.”

His fingers move against my neck and then he laughs.

“Did you have too much to drink again, like last time when you got like this?” Shaking his head, he backs away and steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel from the nearby rack.

Sagging against the wall, I rub at my face and stay under the water until it runs cold.

By the time I walk back into the bedroom, Daniel is under the covers and snoring.

With a soft sigh, I pick up my phone and do what he does, looking over to make sure he’s truly asleep before sneaking off to my office in nothing but a towel.

I close the door behind me and look around to find something to drape over the window.

With no luck, I leave the lights off as I sit in my desk chair by the window.

The cool leather causes goosebumps to run rampant over my skin and I sag against it, clicking on the first movie I stumble on from the streaming service screen on my computer.

Fifty First Dates plays, and I set my phone against the bottom of the monitor’s screen and search for Daddy-kink porn.

It’s been a while since I have, but Zavier’s deep voice in my head is reawakening a desire I’ve tried for a long time to shove away.

After clicking on a video that entices me the most, I uncover my already stiffening cock and stroke myself slowly.

My skin tingles as the guy tells the other to kneel for him.

Most would assume the Dom holds all the power, but from what I’ve seen and read, it’s the sub who has all the control. Everything ends when he says it does.

My breaths come out in pants, and my palm slaps harder against my skin when the bigger man asks his boy what he wants.

When the sub’s request is met and he starts convulsing harder from his Daddy limiting his air while also handling him with care, my body tenses and I lose complete control, coming so hard my head spins.

Sweat covers my skin, and I go slack against the chair with my towel slipping to the floor.

My eyes start to shut as the Daddy tells his boy how good and strong he is.

As I’m slowly drifting, the shaking bushes outside my window have my lids flashing open.

Heart pounding, I pick up the towel and cover myself while exiting the site on my phone.

I look out the window, hair sticking up at the back of my neck when a pair of glowing eyes stare back at me.

I close my eyes, brain still foggy from my violent orgasm, and when I open them, there’s nothing there.

I imagined it. This is something I’ve written about before, and my mind is playing tricks on me, wanting to see what’s not really there.

What I put on paper is make-believe and not an experience I really want to endure.

I’m not my characters and they aren’t me.

I touch the cold glass, my shallow breaths fogging the window as I step closer.

My towel drops again, and it’s like I’ve lost control of my hands as I start touching my nipples while pressing my half-hard cock to the window.

Digging my nails into my pebbling nubs, I writhe harder against the glass and moan quietly as I wait for the pair of piercing eyes to come back. They don’t return until after I nearly black out from coming again.

Leaning into my reflection, I trace the outline of the black hooded stranger with my fingers, and I close my eyes, making him disappear way too soon for my liking when I open them again.

After gaining control of my legs again, I pick up the towel and turn off my computer before retreating back to my room where everything once again feels wrong.