Page 49 of Look My Way (Bloody Desires #1)

Liam

Machines beep around me and I lower the blankets from my face to a smiling nurse. “Morning, hun. Feeling okay?”

“I . . . yeah.” So it was all real . . .

all of it. Daniel . . . Jared, and the man in the basement.

They were torturing and killing men in that house.

I was supposed to be one of them, but Zavier stopped it from happening.

As the nurse takes my vitals and has me sit up in bed to chase pills with my water, I think about everything I was told about him yesterday.

Will he deny any of it when I ask? My body was overtaken with chills when Zavier said, “And that’s why people like me exist.”

He was already agreeing with what had been said.

But did he really hurt my editor? Rick was mostly innocent, wasn’t he?

My mind races, and maybe I should be scared of him, but I’m not.

He wouldn’t hurt me. If anything, he saved me.

I was there to stop him from suffering a horrible fate and he returned the favor.

My breaths catch when I notice words written on one of the palms of my hand.

Strong. Brave. Beautiful. Mine.

Smiling, I touch each one and flapping sensations fill my gut, but my stomach feels like ropes are tightening around it when I don’t see him anywhere in the room.

The nurse pats my arm, face softening. “If you’re looking for your friend, he said to tell you he went home to get some things and will be back later. ”

“Oh,” I say to no one in particular. “Do you know when that was?”

Her lips press together and she looks at her watch. “Maybe two or three hours ago.”

“Okay, thanks.” Lying back against the bed, I trace the words again, and Daniel’s words rush into my mind.

“He killed our father, his uncle, and if I didn’t get to you first, he’d kill you too. He and I are the exact same. Cut from the same cloth.”

He’s wrong. I finally understand why the eyes from outside the window of my sister’s house unsettled me.

It wasn’t only because they weren’t Zavier, but also because they belonged to someone capable of worse things.

Zavier would never hurt me. He told me he wouldn’t.

I believed him then and I believe him now.

Maybe he’s a monster, but he’s mine. Does that make me a terrible person?

I don’t know, but it doesn’t make me weak.

Only a strong person could handle the love of a man with blood on his hands.

Only a strong person could get through something so awful and come out on top with someone who would take down anyone who hurt him.

A knock at the door has me looking up and Zavier is smiling at me. My stomach is all gooey inside like it usually is with him. I wasn’t scared of him before and I’m not now. He’s right. Worse men like Daniel and Jared would have gotten away if it weren’t for him. My man. My Daddy. My killer.

“Hey, carino.”

“Hey, you.”

“Perfect timing. I was just about to go finish my rounds,” the blonde nurse says, squeezing past him while shooting me a wink.

Zavier gives a curious glance between us and I chuckle, patting the space next to me. “Come back here and make me warm again.”

His eyes light up and he rushes my way. “Gladly.” Lowering himself onto the bed, he offers his hand and I quickly take it. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore, hungry, and ready for my bed.”

“Me too. They said you should be discharged today. I brought you some clothes to change into whenever that time comes.”

“Okay. Did you bring food too?”

He laughs. “No. I didn’t have time for that. Had some other last-minute errands to run.”

“Have they found Daniel yet?”

“No.” His face lowers. “They won’t either. Not until I’m ready for them to.”

My insides tug and I nibble on my bottom lip, looking right into his eyes. “Was he really your brother?”

“So he says. I haven’t been able to confirm it yet.” He straightens his legs out beside mine.

“Did you really not know, then?”

“No. I thought I was an only child. It makes sense why she’d give him away, though why she kept me, I don’t know.”

“You wish she gave you up too?”

“No.” He looks ahead. “At first, I wished things were different, and it turns out they could have been. Instead of being like me . . .” He swallows hard.

“I could have been like him. Daniel handled his trauma like me but in a worse way. I guess I forgot that was possible. To be worse than what I am.”

I keep listening quietly, studying his expressions and having no doubt in anything he says.

Taking a breath, he continues, as his hands shake in his lap.

“He and Jared made films. Death was too good for both of them. I wish I knew that before giving one the easy way out. What they were doing down there . . .” His voice shakes, and I’ve never seen him like this before, so lost for words and disheveled.

If he truly was all bad, he wouldn’t be any of these things.

He wouldn’t care what Daniel and his friend were doing in that house.

“Who killed your dad?” I ask, shifting the conversation, seeing that he needs a break from the topic at hand.

“My mother. In order to protect me. She said sometimes you have to save yourself when no one else is with you. Those words stayed with me all this time. With my uncle, my foster parents, and with—”

“People like Daniel and Rick,” I finish for him, and this time I’m the one offering him my hand.

He smiles down at it and takes it. I don’t ask any more questions, and the silence stretching between us is only broken when a detective walks in.

We make separate statements, repeating basically what we told them yesterday, and they promise us they’re looking for Daniel, saying they’ll do whatever it takes to prevent him from coming after me again.

I thank them calmly and act satisfied by their words because I don’t need them to keep me safe from anyone or anything. Not when I have a Daddy who already does that. Zavier wraps an arm around me, his mouth brushing my ear. “I have another confession to make.”

“Yeah?” My heart thuds.

“There’s this pretty boy with red hair who paints pretty stones and likes being stalked who I’ve fallen madly in love with.”

My lips spread across my face, my head light and spinny. “I think I might know him.”

“Do you?” He knocks into me, grinning.

“Yeah, and from what I’ve heard, he feels the exact same way.”

“Even after everything?” His face tenses.

“Yeah. Even after everything.” My face closes in on his and he breathes me in, rubbing his lips over mine.

“I can’t wait to take you home.” His words tingle over my lips.

“Our home,” I say.

“Our home.” His smile matches what mine feels like, and I kiss him.

Daniel hid behind the uniform of a good citizen, and Zavier has always had who he was laid out on the surface for anyone who got close enough. I never thought I’d say this about someone like him, but I’m lucky to be one of those people. I get to see him like he sees me—mostly the good parts.