Page 25 of Look My Way (Bloody Desires #1)

Liam

Daniel arrives home just as Zavier is driving away. They wave at each other and Daniel smiles at me, moving toward the front of the house. “Hey, baby. How are the planter boxes coming along?”

“Good. I finished my book today too.”

“Oh, good. That means a break real soon then . . . just like we talked about, right?”

“Yeah.” I step to the side as he enters the house, kicking off his shoes. He pecks me on the lips, holding his plastic smile.

“You’ll feel much better after you take it too, I’m sure.”

“I feel fine now. I’ve been invited to dinner tomorrow with a few of the other writers from the same publishing company and I’m thinking about going.”

“Is it a requirement?” He kicks the door shut behind him, jaw tightening.

“No, but sounds like it’ll be a good way to make new friends and network.”

“If it’s not necessary, I’d feel better if you skipped it. You know how you get in overly crowded spaces, and with it being downtown—”

“How’d you know where it was?”

“You had your email open earlier. I didn’t mean to look but I was searching for my keys.”

Sure he didn’t. His keys get hung on the hook by the door. He never puts them anywhere else. What is he looking for? What is he trying to find? He won’t find anything in my emails. If he truly knew me, he’d know where I keep all my secrets. “Oh, I don’t think it’ll be too bad.”

“It’ll be dark by the time it’s over. There’s a reason you don’t drive much at night.”

I nibble on the inside of my cheeks, the skin pulling between my teeth. A metallic taste hits my tongue and I swallow it down. “What time do you get off work? If it’s before dinner time—”

“It’s not. Remember the call I had to look into?

Well, it was a lot worse than we thought it would be, so there’s a whole investigation open around it.

I have to question the guy first thing in the morning, and apparently there are other locations we need to look into. Just need him to spill where they are.”

“Oh . . . sounds dangerous.”

“Yeah.” He rests a hand on the gun on his hip, sliding the other over his hair. “But it’s nothing I can’t handle.” And there’s that uneasy smile again. Have they always looked this way? My stomach churns and I feel nauseous the longer his cold hard stare holds me in place.

“You okay?” He steps forward and I place a hand on his chest without thinking. He eyes my curling fingers, lips tightening in the corners. “You’re very jumpy.”

“I . . .” As I try to retract my hand, he hooks onto my finger, placing it back on his chest.

“Tell me what’s wrong, baby? Getting bad headaches again?”

“No. I’m . . . it’s been a long day. Between the work with the planter boxes and finishing my book . . . I just didn’t get my usual nap in.”

He frowns, his hand sliding up my arm to cup my cheek. “We can tell Zander to come back later this week instead of tomorrow if you want.”

“No . . . it’s okay. I’ll just turn in early tonight. Gotta go over this epilogue first, though.”

“That asshole still blowing up your phone about his stupid deadline?” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

Running his fingers through it is something he loves doing, needing to touch it as often as he can while telling me how much he’d love it if I grew it out only to get angry when it gets too long.

It’s this strange switch that goes off in him over certain things.

“Yeah, but he’ll back off once he has it.” For a little while at least. In between complaining about the supposed mess I’ve turned into him.

“Let’s hope so.” The corners of his mouth jump up. “At least for his sake.”

“Yeah,” I say, trying to not think too hard about his words. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’m going to finish up while you work on dinner.”

His fingers tug on my hair, a sharp pain igniting in my scalp as he does. “I think you should go lie down. You really don’t look well.”

I wince and he pulls hard, tangling several strands around his fingers. “You’re having those headaches again. I can tell. Go lie down and I’ll bring the food to you when it’s ready. I’m making your favorite.”

The room spins and my legs wobble as he tilts my head back. He pecks my lips, smiling against them before pulling his face away. “Trust me. You’ll feel better when you do.”

It’s not until I agree that he releases me, placing his hand on my back to steer me toward my bedroom. He helps me undress down to my boxers and tucks me into bed. “You’re looking better already, baby.” His cold lips sweep over my forehead and I nod, pressing my head hard into the pillow.

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You know nobody takes care of you like I do. It’s because I know how much you need it.”

“Yeah,” I say again, no longer agreeing.

This isn’t what helps me. It’s not what’s been getting me through my days.

I was barely hanging on before, hardly living, and then a mysterious man with captivating eyes came into my life, and for the first time someone helped me see what I needed to see.

I can make decisions for myself. I can do anything anyone else can.

And instead of being worse in the dark, like Daniel once convinced me I was, that’s when I thrive the most.

I wait until he leaves the room to sit up in bed and reach for my phone.

Scrolling through my document, I highlight a scene, hoping the only other person with access to this copy will see it.

If his notifications for his email are turned on he will.

Fingers shaking, I close out of the app and set my phone back on the nightstand as I sink back under the covers.

A savory scent floats through the air, growing heavier the longer Daniel is in the kitchen.

My stomach stirs, and I guess that sandwich earlier wasn’t enough to hold me for as long as I thought it would.

Then again, I did spend lots of time in the sun and was involved in more physical activity than I have been in a while, working up quite an appetite with Zavier.

That was real. It was very real. I can still feel his hands and mouth on me, the vibration of his sounds around my cock.

I really crossed the line. We both did. I couldn’t push him away, though.

His hands felt so good and his mouth even better.

I felt so strong too. Not once did he tell me to take it easy or slow down.

No mentions of me looking pale or weak. All my movements were so effortless.

My cock jolts as I close my eyes, remembering how Zavier looked on his knees.

He was kneeling at my feet, appearing smaller than me and allowing me to choose to give up control.

He didn’t take it from me, and I could have taken it back whenever I wanted.

He gave me the opportunity to say no, to stop everything. It’s the main reason I didn’t want to.

The floor creaks and my eyes snap open to Daniel carrying two plates in his hand. Looking around, he smiles and sets them on the dresser while he searches for my dinner tray. I drag a pillow over my tenting blanket and sit up in bed, pressing my back to the headboard.

I smile, settling my hands at my side as he positions the table over my lap. He adds my plate next and leaves the room to grab me a cup of water, returning with a chair hanging on his arm.

“I’m going to join you for dinner here so you’re not eating alone. I know we haven’t been spending much time together, and I really want to do better when I can.”

“It’s okay.” I no longer mind when he’s gone.

Whenever he’s not here, Zavier gets a chance to be.

Yeah, this whole thing is such a mess. I can keep asking what I’m doing and where this will all lead to, but then my mind goes to the depleting pill bottle in my bathroom, making the question harder to answer.

There has to be another way. I’ll have to see how this book does.

The last brought in a lot of sales and I have a good feeling this one will do better.

I need it to. I also need to find a way to fully get Daniel out of my head, so it’ll be easier to let him go.

Him thinking he needs to be around more won’t help, though.

How did I let him get in so deep and stay for so damn long?

I held onto his word because he was convinced it was sounder than mine.

A part of me still wonders if he’s right.

Medications I’ve taken in the past have triggered delusions.

I thought everyone around me was purposely hurting me. Am I seeing everything wrong again?

Daniel wasn’t really causing my head pain earlier, was he?

Did Zavier and I even talk today? Daniel talks about his workday some more, vaguely and leaving out any major details about his current case while slowly picking at his plate.

I nod between bites, forcing smiles and laughing when he attempts a joke.

I’m hardly paying attention, so who’s to say it’s even funny.

“All done?” He points to my mostly empty plate.

“Yeah.” I wipe my fingers on my napkin and shift the tray in my lap.

Standing up, he sets his plate on top and takes away my tray, heading off to the kitchen.

Keeping my eyes on the door, I open my drawer and shove my hand inside to feel for the notes I taped on top in the very back.

Smiling, I keep running my hands over them.

They’re real. Closing my eyes again, I feel Zavier’s warm breath on my neck and his fingers rubbing over my cock.

My body heats, skin vibrating as I touch myself underneath my pillow, rubbing over my cock at the same time as the notes. He’s real. What he did really happened.

Daniel’s footsteps trail up the hall, and his voice ringing around me has me slamming the drawer shut and shoving my memories away.

Then it’s only me and him again, leaving me to question the earlier events with Zavier all over again, along with whether or not what I felt a while ago was really a headache.

Daniel’s pointed out before how many more times I’ve been wrong than he has.

I’d rather not give him the opportunity to do it again.

And I want to keep holding onto my delusions a little longer, if that’s what Zavier is. In case that’s what we are.