Page 15 of Look My Way (Bloody Desires #1)

I smile, trailing my hand up his neck to cup his chin. “It feels good to choose something all on your own, doesn’t it, carino?”

His warm breaths cascade over my skin as I trace the seam of his lips. “Yes.”

“Just know you’ll always get to with me.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” I repeat after him, dropping my hand as his mouth starts to chase it. Fuck, holding back is hard, but when he’s ready to go further, he’ll say it without overthinking it. He’ll choose on his own without me asking or initiating anything first.

“Utensils are by the sink, you say?” I reach for my food, peeling off the lid. The savory scent has my stomach making its own sounds, and Liam’s cheeks tint as he nods, his fingers moving his glasses.

“Cool. I don’t think they included them. What about napkins?” I search the kitchen, not seeing a roll or stack anywhere.

“I keep them in the other drawer. They’re reusable.”

“A man who cares about the earth. I like it. I should do better with that myself.” I set my lid back on the black container and walk to the sink, rummaging through the drawers as he stays standing where he is, watching my every move.

“I could always do better myself. Daniel hates it. He keeps bringing over paper napkins and plastic ware no matter how many times I tell him I don’t want it here. After a while, I gave up the small fights and allowed him to have whatever he wants.”

“Doesn’t he have his own place? Why not just go there and use what he wants when he wants to?” I seeth, grabbing two forks and a stack of cloth napkins.

“I don’t know. Says he likes being here with me.”

“Then he can learn to respect your decisions and choices.”

He scratches at the back of his head, staring down at his feet. “Daniel is . . . he’s a little more complex than that. It’s not that he doesn’t respect me, he just—”

“Respects himself more?”

“He’s doing a really nice thing for me with the planters,” he says, sounding defensive, his eyes not matching the slight aggression in his voice.

“Yeah, almost as if he’s overcompensating for something.”

“He’s not . . . he’s . . . how about we talk about something else.”

“Sounds like a great idea to me,” I agree, scooting two chairs closer together as I sit in one.

He looks at the other two and chooses the one next to mine.

Our legs rub together as he lowers himself into the chair.

Pleased with his decision, I lay one hand between us in case he needs something to grab again when he’s feeling less grounded.

Halfway through our meal, he takes full advantage of it being there and goes from touching my pinky with his to wrapping all his fingers around the top half of mine minutes later.

We’re both more relaxed when he does, eating in comfortable silence while occasionally running through random topics.

“Do you only collect DVDs and plants or is there something else you have too much of?” I glance his way, dabbing my face with one of his homemade napkins.

He swallows the bite of food in his mouth, grasping my hand tighter while sliding up and down in his chair. “Tea I’ll probably never drink, coffee mugs from thrift stores that had clearly been gifted from one person to another, and stones.”

“Stones?” Not sure why that sticks out to me the most, but it could be the way his voice jumps in excitement when mentioning them.

“Yeah. White or light-gray flat ones. They aren’t super easy to come across, so I often have to order them.”

“What do you do with them?”

He takes a breath, his fingers rubbing over my knuckles. “I can show you in a little bit if you’d like.”

“Sure. I’d love to see.”

“You have to promise not to laugh, though, because it’s kind of a silly hobby to have. It’s relaxing, though, and helps me when I’m stuck in my writing.”

“I promise. At least you have hobbies.” Healthy ones, that is.

Instead of laughing, he’d run if he knew about mine.

Am I really a better choice over Daniel?

He doesn’t have blood on his hands or walk into homes uninvited.

He doesn’t remove curtains in order to get to know someone better.

But he also makes Liam miserable and dims his light. At least to me, that’s much worse.

“You’re saying stalking people who save your life isn’t one of yours?” He cocks a brow, and I laugh, pressing my back to the chair.

“I mean, I was talking about the ones I’d want to tell others about, but if I’m really being honest, I like to slit the throats of people who hurt others, on Sundays after attending church service.”

His smile fades before coming back and he laughs. “Is that all?”

“Nah, I also collect items from my targets before and after I catch them. It’s actually how I got this necklace.

” I tap at the chain wrapped around my neck and his belly shakes from laughing harder.

It feels good being honest with him. He doesn’t believe me, but I’m still sharing a part of me I can’t share with anyone aside from my sister who figured out my dark truths in the worst way.

“Well in that case, if any of them have any plants or stones, make sure to think of me.”

“I will,” I say, squeezing his hand before standing from my chair.

We clear the table together and I load the dishwasher while he takes the napkins to the hamper in the laundry area.

As he’s walking back into the kitchen, his eyes narrow in on something by the soap dispenser.

It’s a painted stone with green swirls and pretty pink flowers.

“I started off painting them for my garden, and then they found their way inside my house. I like leaving them in random places for people to find too, hoping to bring a smile to a stranger’s face. Sometimes it’s flowers with sweet messages and others its silly animals.”

I pick up the one by the sink, caressing the smooth surface. “I love them. I bet others do too when they see them.”

“I used to leave them for people close to me too. Not sure if they kept them, but I haven’t seen the ones I’ve given to Daniel in a long time.”

“If you left them for me, I’d proudly display them everywhere. Can you show me more?”

He nods with enthusiasm and shoves me through the short dark hallway, turning on a light as soon as he opens the first door we come across.

It’s a bathroom. As I step in behind him it doesn’t take me long for the colorful stones on the back of the toilet and scattered around the sink to catch my attention.

My lips spread wide as my gaze lands on each one. The paintings are of different flowers. Lillies, poppies, dandelions and roses.

“Lovely.” I lift one up closer to the light, tracing over the dark green vines and brown thorns. It’s how I imagine we’d look together on rock, vibrant beauty and prickly darkness.

“There’s more, but I’m sure once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

Sounds more like Daniel’s words than his. “I want to see all you’re willing to show me.”

His eyes glimmer and he zips down the hall.

I trail closely behind him, shutting off the light and loving the bounce in each of his steps to what I’d assumed was his office when I stripped the window bare.

There are more stones on his desk with various dinosaurs.

Farm animals sit on a shelf in front of books with his name on them.

How did I not notice any of these before?

“I keep going back and forth between storing them away and setting them out. It comes off as clutter, but I also like looking at them while I’m working. Makes this room feel livelier and . . . and I don’t feel so alone.”

“I don’t see any clutter.” My fingers twitch as I debate over pocketing one. This is something precious to him that he’ll let me have if he wants me to. I’ll wait, like I am with everything else.

“Yeah . . . well, I know most probably would.” He straightens a glass figurine sitting between two stones with birds drawn on them.

He means Daniel, doesn’t he? He doesn’t have to say his name anymore for me to know exactly who he’s referring to.

“I think many would disagree if you asked. Much like you, I think they brighten up the room and give it more personality. It says a lot about the person who lives here.” While mine says nothing about me.

I’m not there enough to care how each room makes me feel, but I can definitely relate to growing lonely while sitting in my living room or bedroom too long.

It’s why I don’t. Not unless I have a new souvenir to admire.

But when compared to him, they all seem dull in comparison.

Every room would come to life and be brighter as long as he was in it. He’s all over this room too, each item around him representing his different moods and sides.

“Yeah . . . I do prefer to enter homes that look lived in versus something that would be featured in a home magazine.” He laughs, dimples popping out, and I want to touch them with more than my hands.

Fidgeting with his shirt, he’s about to walk out into the hall, but then I yank a random book from the shelf, flipping through the pages so loudly he stops dead in his tracks.

“I haven’t read this one yet. Don’t think I’ve seen it in any of the online stores either.”

Spinning around, he lowers his eyes to the cover of the book. “Yeah, it’s only available at signings when I attend them. I’ve been meaning to republish them after I got the rights back from another publisher, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

His answer stirs more curiosity in me. “There’s others?”

Running a hand through his hair, he takes two steps toward the shelf and lowers himself to the ground to pluck several titles from the bottom. After scanning the section some more, he stands back up and hands me the stack of four books. “There’s these too. If you want them, you can just have them.”

Dragging them closer to me, I read over the titles, and that’s all it takes to secure my decision to take them all home with me when I leave.

To read over them faster than the others.

These have more of who he is in them, don’t they?

He looked at them more lovingly than his others, and it’s obvious that lots of freedom went into creating the stories.

Shuffling the books around, I look more closely at the illustrated cover of “Obey Me.” There’s a man on his knees in front of another, and the faces change right before my eyes.

It’s my hand on his cheek as he happily submits to me with those dimples showing.

A buzzing sound comes from his phone and he jumps, panic rising in his eyes.

“It’s a lot later than I realized. I need to get ready for bed soon.”

That means Daniel’s on his way, and I can’t be here when he arrives.

“Yeah, I need to get home anyway. Got an early start tomorrow. I had fun today, though.”

“Me too,” he says. As he closes the gap between us, he moves his face away when mine lowers. “I . . . uh . . . will walk you to the door.”

“Yeah . . . okay. We’re still on for our movie night, right?”

He nibbles at the corner of his lip, lifting up on his heels. “Yeah. Shouldn’t be a problem squeezing it in next week.”

“Great. You can show me all those movies of yours on Monday.”

“Monday?” His eyes snap to me.

“Yeah. My first day working on those boxes I was paid to make.”

“Oh, you’ll build them here?”

“Yes. Makes the transferring so much easier, and that way I can also make sure they fit while putting everything together. Measurements taken ahead aren’t always super reliable.”

“Right. I guess it would make things easier.”

“Yeah.” My lips pull up into a tight smile. “I’ll stop by the evening before to drop off the materials if that’s okay. It’s what I do for every job.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll be here all day long. I think Daniel has this thing he needs to be at. Some award ceremony for work.”

“On a Sunday?”

“That’s what he said, unless I heard him wrong.” I’m not sure Liam believes his own words sometimes, but here is going along with Daniel’s bullshit anyway. He thinks he’s up to something too, doesn’t he? Does he no longer care or is he too scared to find out what it is?

“Interesting. Well, if you want, I can bring over subs or anything you like when I stop by.”

“Subs?” A crimson color replaces his pale complexion. “Oh, sandwiches.”

I smirk, preferring where his mind went the first time. “What kind were you originally thinking of?” My voice grows raspy and his jaw twitches.

“Nothing . . . just tired and my mind is all over the place.”

“Uh huh . . . if you say so. I’ll see you Sunday, carino, and let me know if you want me to bring those sub sandwiches along.

” I enunciate each letter of sub sandwiches, lowering my head to breathe him in one last time so I can smell that strawberry-and-cream shampoo and remember it while I get off to him dropping onto all fours for me like the type of sub I’d much prefer to feast on this coming Sunday.