Page 38 of Look My Way (Bloody Desires #1)

“Aren’t you supposed to be ordering pizza?”

“Ah right,” I say back with a smirk. “Let me give you more time alone so you can snoop some more.”

His laughter sounds more and more free. I hope I don’t take that away somehow the way others have.

A sick feeling washes over me as I lift my phone to my ear on a call with the nearest pizza place.

I’ve never spent so much time with another person for good reason, worried this darkness passed down to me would come out when least expected.

I like hurting people and making them scream, though I only ever aim it at the ones who deserve to suffer.

But there’s a part of me that’s always worried someone innocent will get hurt along the way.

And if it’s not me who accidentally unleashes something on them, then someone who may be after me to avenge a loved one might.

Or they could be seen as an accomplice if I ever get caught.

I want him, but he deserves to have the best life possible, and can I really give that to him?

When I get off the call, he smiles over at me and lifts up a bear my sister got me last Valentine’s Day, making it dance midair.

My selfishness takes over, and even though it would better for him, I can’t let him go.

Wouldn’t the alternative be worse anyway?

He saved me, and I broke him free from everything holding him back—from smiling, from living.

What if another Daniel comes along, shattering my progress, and ends up way worse than I could ever be? I can’t let that happen, and besides, I promised him I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Your place is so tidy but not as empty as you made it sound. I do think it could use more color,” he says promptly. “Good thing I brought my paints and blank stones with me.”

“Yes, very good thing. Did you bring the movie too?”

“Yeah, and a few others in case you hate it.”

“I’ll watch whatever. I’m pretty easy to please in that area. Just a month ago, my sister forced me to watch Mean Girls with her.”

“But Mean Girls is a good movie. I’ve been wanting to see the musical for ages now.”

“It’s not bad. When it comes to town, we can go together.”

“You sure you’ll be able to endure it?”

“You’ll be there, so yeah.” I step closer, pulling him into my arms. “I’ll endure anything for my precious boy.”

“We’ll see about that. It’s not the only musical I want to go to.”

I laugh, kissing his nose. “Bring it on.”

His eyes brighten and he twists the bottom of my shirt in his finger. “We’ll start with watching a bunch of mushy romance films tonight and go from there.”

“Sounds like the perfect Thursday.”

“It’d be more perfect if you had ice cream.”

“I do. Chocolate chip cookie dough and whatever ice cream sandwiches Felice brought with her the last time she was here.”

“In that case, I’m raiding your freezer next.”

“Don’t mind the severed head in the back when you do,” I call out as he stalks over to the back of the kitchen.

“I guess I won’t, now that you’ve warned me,” he responds with a smile.

If only he really knew what I’m revealing to him right now isn’t too far from the truth.

Would it be what scares him away from me for good?

I don’t think we have to get into that today, or for a while, but if he asks me, I’ll have to tell him.

I said I wouldn’t lie to him, and I won’t.

He opens the freezer and closes it, spinning on his heels. “What about popcorn?”

“You sure you won’t be too full after the pizza and ice cream?”

“I’m sure. Can’t have a movie night without popcorn.”

“That is the known rule.”

He looks through my pantry next, asking me what my favorite snacks are and questioning me about the twenty cases of Diet Pepsi.

“I’ve never known someone to keep so much of a drink he hates.”

“I wouldn’t say I hate it. Though the aftertaste it leaves I could do without.”

“Everyone could,” he agrees, running his fingers over the glass canisters of pasta and flour. “You’re so organized. Pretty sure it only makes me like you more.”

“Are you admitting out loud to liking me?”

“Looks like it.” He turns around, pinning me to the door. Our lips lock and we get lost in each other, grinding our bodies together until the food arrives. We eat at my teal wood table, and he’s surprised when I tell him I’m the one who picked it out.

“What else was your choice in your apartment?”

I chew on a pepperoni, pushing it to the back of my mouth with my tongue as I look up at the windowsill. “That half-dead plant.”

He laughs, nose wiggling. Fuck, he’s so cute. It’s hard not to kiss and hold him all the time. “What else?”

“Umm.” I tap my chin, pretending to think long and hard. “Those magnets I swiped for free from several businesses.”

“And?” He leans forward, resting his chin on a closed fist. “You.” My fingers slide up his thigh, and his lips part, breath catching.

“Is it bad that I want to kiss you all the time?” His eyes stay on mine, chest lifting and lowering.

“No. Not at all. I want you all the time too, but I never want to push you. Not unless you ask of course.”

“Consider this me asking. Push me. Find my limit. I can handle it.”

“You can.”

“I can.” His nose brushes over mine, hot breath cascading over my lips.

“You can do anything, carino.”

“It feels like I can with you.”

“With me. Without me.” I cup his cheek, brushing at his hair with my pinky.

“I think with you is much better.”

“Me too.”

“Daddy,” he whines and I’m a pile of goo, melting for him over and over as he rocks needily against his chair. His eyes look up at mine lovingly, and it’s like he’s asking me for the whole world right now. I’ll give him as much of it as I can too.

“I’m right here, lovely. Tell me what you need.”

“You. Just you.” He crawls into my lap, cock rubbing against mine, and I bring my mouth to his, our tongues latching together desperately as we writhe against each other.

I lift from the chair and carry him to the couch, laying him down before tugging at his clothes.

I kiss as much of his skin as I can, trailing my lips over every limb and over each hip bone.

I lick my way up his belly button and chest, sucking on his pretty pink nipples.

He thrashes, letting out sweet moans as I play with his body, giving him what he wants.

Me. All of me. As much as he can handle and more.

I work my way down his body, lifting his hips and running my nose down the seam of his crack.

Tongue poking between my lips, I use only the tip to tease his entrance and then lap at it in circles.

His thighs shake and his chest lifts to the sky, body tightening everywhere as I drive him wild with my tongue.

I spread his hole with my fingers, diving in and out.

He tastes of soap, sweat, and him. I delve into him like a starved man, going back for seconds and thirds.

I don’t stop until he’s crying and screaming in pleasure, body erupting like a fucking volcano as I catch his hot release with my mouth.

I lick up whatever I don’t catch, kissing his stomach and the center of his chest. His hands tug at my face, and he kisses my mouth. “I want to taste you too,” he says in an almost whisper.

“Later. Catch your breath while I clean up the mess in the kitchen. We still have a movie to watch too.”

“We have all night for that,” he says, almost breathless.

“Yeah. Lots of nights too.”

“Let’s see if you don’t get tired of me after this weekend first,” his voice cracks.

“I can guarantee you now, that’s not going to happen. I can’t get enough of you as it is.”

“You say that now.”

“And later. And tomorrow and days from now. Months and years even.”

“You really shouldn’t get ahead of yourself.”

“And you really need to stop trying to wish me away,” I say in a mocking tone, and he snorts.

I climb off the couch, and he watches me as I move around the kitchen. After putting away the pizza, I wash the dishes, throw popcorn in the microwave, and bring him a bottle of water.

He drinks it lazily, sitting up against two throw pillows with his legs spread.

He’s still naked, and when I cover him with a blanket he finds a way to wiggle away from it.

He wants me to see all of him, and I don’t mind at all.

I want him to see all of me too, so I strip out of my clothes and climb in behind him on the couch.

Turning into me, he traces over the scar on my face and one on my shoulder.

“You’re strong too. You’d have to be to have gone through whatever caused these.”

“Yeah. We both are.” My lips circle over his and his breaths pick up.

“Can I taste you now? Please, Daddy.”

Fuck. How can I say no to that? To my perfect boy asking so nicely, using his manners and words.

“Yes, pequeno. Yes, you can.”

Something sparks in his eyes, and he crawls down my body, gaze capturing mine as he sucks me into his mouth.

He lightly suckles at my tip, and I about lose it when he starts swirling his tongue.

My fingers fall into his hair. He smiles around the fullness in his mouth, taking me deeper, and I pump my hips.

“You’re doing so good, lovely. That mouth of yours is as perfect as your pretty hole.”

He hums around me, bobbing his head and caressing me more with the heat of his mouth.

“So good. So strong.”

“I can be stronger. Make me take more. When I say stop, don’t.”

“Okay, but if you really need me to, I want you to tap my leg. Do you have a safe word?”

“No safe words. Taps are fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I’m sure, Daddy.”

“Okay, carino. If that’s what you want.” He rocks back, pushing his ass up in the air, and I lift my body, reaching my fingers down to play with his crack.

He wiggles his hips, eyeing me like a predator as he goes back to sucking my cock.

I grab his hair and fuck upward with slow thrusts, picking up my pace while holding him in place when he tries to squirm away.

He lifts his head, and I shove it back down with heavy force, thrusting so deep and hard he’s gagging.

Saliva pools around his lips and tears spring to his eyes.

His face turns red and he claws at my thighs—no tapping out yet, though.

Eyes red and dilated, he puffs air around my base, and I hit the back of his throat earning me more unintelligible sounds.

He shakes his head, and I keep him where he is, using his mouth over and over until I’m coming so hard I temporarily black out.

Cum spills from his mouth and I pull out, swiping up my release only to shove it back between his lips.

He makes a choking sound, and with a sharp inhale he falls forward.

I wrap my arms around him and rub his back, kissing his sweaty hair.

“You doing okay?”

He gives me a thumbs up, and I laugh into his hair, kissing him some more, and he makes cute little satisfied sounds, pressing his hot face into my chest. His breaths slow, and when I offer him water, he takes it. Then he lies back on me, eyes heavy.

“Since I’ve already seen it, can I sleep a little during the beginning?”

I smile, stroking his scalp gently. “Yeah. Just a little.”

“Okay.” He yawns. “You pulled my hair.”

“I did.”

“It was because I let you. Because I wanted it. It was on my terms.”

“Sí.” I’d quickly realized that wanting me to be rough on purpose was about him taking back his power. The stalking was too. What if he knew I’d kill for him if he asked? Would he see that the same way he’s seen everything else we’ve done? Would it make him feel stronger?