Page 42 of Look My Way (Bloody Desires #1)

Me: That’s not your business to know. Not anymore. I have to go, because if we keep talking, we’ll just keep going in circles, and I’m so tired of this whole dynamic between us. I can’t keep carrying on with it.

Daniel: You’re such an ungrateful shit. After everything I’ve done for you. Everything I’m willing to give you. What about the new planters I’m having built?

Me: I’ll reimburse you for them.

Daniel: I don’t want your money. It’s not like you have much of it right now anyway. Not with how slowly you’ve been putting out books. You’ll see soon enough what a mistake you’re making.

Daniel: Don’t do this, baby. Please. Whatever it is I did, I’ll fix it. I always fix it, don’t I?

Me: There’s nothing left to fix. At least now you can have all the time you want with Jared and whoever else’s perfume you keep coming home smelling of.

I tap on his number and slam my finger on the block button before he can respond. There. He’s gone. I know it won’t get rid of him forever but at least it will this weekend. Daniel doesn’t give up easily. Zavier’s idea about having the locks changed is probably something I need to give in to.

Holding my phone tightly to my chest, I lie here with my stomach plummeting.

I don’t move until my stomach stops feeling like a boulder has crash landed inside, slowly dragging my heavy body out of bed.

My feet feel like they have lead in them.

I didn’t want to have to do this, but he gave me no choice.

I really don’t care to hear anything else he has to say. Not after all he’s done.

I dig into one of the bags and put on the first shirt I grab. It’s white with a cable design. I pair it with some gray cargo shorts, and when I look over at the nightstand I can’t help but smile, the weighted sensation slowly slipping away as I step closer and read each note left for me.

One is next to my medicine. “Take me.”

Another is next to my water. “Drink me.”

Finally, there’s one by a burrito from my favorite taco stop not far from here that reads, “Eat me.”

He’s clearly an Alice in Wonderland fan.

Will he want to have another movie night when we get back and watch that next?

I want to plan as many next dates as I can until it’s impossible for us to ever run out.

I’m ready to close the door on my last relationship so I can keep what’s happening between me and Zavier wide open.

Once my meds are chased down with food and water, I finish getting ready in the bathroom before rushing downstairs to the smell of lasagna.

Must be what my sister made for the party.

It is my nephew’s favorite food after all, and I could probably eat it every day myself.

Any kind of pasta dish really, especially if it’s covered in lots of cheese, and man that ricotta has me wishing Zavier had left me more than one burrito.

“There he is.” My mom strolls toward me, giving me a half hug and kissing me on the cheek. “I was about to come up and check on you.”

“No need. I’m here now. When is this party starting?”

“In an hour.” Tabitha walks past us holding a birthday cake.

“I made it down just in time. Oh.” I spin around. “The birthday gift I ordered is upstairs.”

“Oh, it’s okay. Zavier brought it down earlier with his.”

My body relaxes. “Good. Glad he did that.” He got my nephew a gift too. Laying it on thick, I see. Trying to make us all miss him when he leaves. I’m tense all over again, stomach locking up. That only lasts until a large hand lands on my body and warm lips press to my neck.

“Glad you were finally able to make it down. Want to help me put up the rest of the balloons?”

“Sure.” I lean against him, lips shifting in an upward motion.

Wrapping his arm around me, he leads me to the back yard and points to where the balloons are.

They’re all filled with helium already and tied to two chairs.

Zavier wraps a few around his wrist, and I take some while mapping out the area to find a good place to put them.

Time goes by faster than I realize, and the first guest is arriving as I’m securing the last balloon to the mailbox to make it easier for people to find the house.

I walk the little boy and his parents inside, showing them where the party is. There are bouncy houses and a corn-hole game. Someone is in the back corner setting up a face-painting station, and I keep looking over at all the new designs she adds to the fence.

“You should get one done,” a deep voice rumbles in my ear, and I snort, shaking my head.

“No way. That’s for the kids.”

“Funny, I don’t see a sign that says that anywhere. Go on and be the first one. Then everyone will see your face and will want to be next.”

I huff, laying my head on Zavier’s shoulder. On my Daddy. My heart does that weird pitter patter thing every time the word slips into my head. I want to say it out loud, but we’re not in the right place for me to do that. “Yeah, okay. What do you think I should get?”

“Whatever you feel you gotta have.” His smile rubs against my cheek, and he walks me over to where the lady is waiting for her first victim. “Hi.” Her smile is red and bright with a white outline.

“Hey. I’m guessing adults can get something too, right? I figured I could get the party started.”

She chuckles, scooting the chair closer to me. “Of course. Have a seat and tell me what you’d like.”

I browse the selections and settle on a bumble bee and flower design. Wetting her brush, she dips it in the paint and starts as soon as I’m seated comfortably. Tabitha walks by, volunteering to go next when she sees a dandelion.

“Me too, me too,” my niece says, making my nephew come over to investigate. Jumping up and down, he whispers in her ear, pointing at the Spider-Man art.

“See. It’s working already,” Zavier says, leaning closer to my ear, and I laugh, giggling when the cold brush tickles my skin. Zavier holds a mirror up when she’s done and my dimples pop with how big my smile is.

“I love it,” I exclaim, jumping out of the chair to give someone else a turn.

“It looks great, my pretty boy,” Zavier says low enough for only me to hear.

“Thank you, Daddy,” I respond back for his ears only, and he shivers beside me, laying a hand on my hip.

“You’re very welcome, gorgeous. You look as pretty as one of your stones in your garden.”

I’m practically purring. “I feel as pretty as them, Daddy.” Daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

It’s coming out of my mouth easier today and I’m not holding back.

He’s eating it up too, eyes looking my way lovingly.

I say it whenever I’m sure no one’s listening, melting at how he responds each time.

It’s better than they’ve made it look in videos.

There are no stresses when I lean into my role as much as he does his, wishing we were alone so I could drop to the ground and lay my head in his lap.

“You look like you might be ready for a nap,” he says to me after we sing “Happy Birthday,” and cake has already been served.

“I can wait,” I say, limbs heavy and back aching.

“Are you sure? You look like you’re about to fall asleep in your chair.”

He’s genuinely worried about me, caring for me the way I’ve always wanted. He’s not bringing on headaches and drugging my tea for him to act like he does.

“But doesn’t that make me seem weak?”

“Not at all.” He shoves his body closer to mine. “The strongest people take naps. In fact, I think I could use one too. I feel beat. Got up way too early.” His eyes sparkle and my heart speeds up.

“I’d hate for you to nap alone, so I suppose I could go with you.”

“Yeah. We can get some rest and wake up even stronger together.” He rubs my knee, his nose grazing my cheek.

“Okay.”

Getting up from his chair first, he offers me his hand, and I take it. We excuse ourselves after I tell my family I’ll be back down later. They’re all immediately understanding and don’t question me. Zavier holds on to me when I get lightheaded walking too fast up the stairs.

“Almost there,” he says, giving me a light shove forward. “I’m just going to hold on to you so I don’t fall.”

I smile, eyes heavy. “Yeah, okay.” My mouth stretches in a yawn and we both enter the guest room one at a time.

Zavier closes and locks the door, climbing into the bed after me.

His arms fall around me, legs holding me in place as I bury my face in his chest. It doesn’t take me long to doze off, following the easy rhythm of his breathing as darkness takes me.

I wake up to the bed beside me empty. Sitting up, I blink my eyes and glance around the room. “Zavier?”

There’s no answer. Back pressed to the headboard, I stretch myself against it and go still when the door pushes open slowly.

I peek around it and there’s nothing but an empty hallway staring back at me.

Sighing in relief, I rub at my legs, and my eyes fly back up when there’s a creaking sound.

I see more of the hallway now with the door fully ajar, and my skin feels like ants are crawling all over it. “Hello?”

No one says anything back, but a door opens before shutting, and I scoot closer to the bed post, stretching my neck.

My heart feels like its choking me when the same eyes from yesterday are looking in at me.

A man blending with the dark space is leaning against the rail, then moves closer before stopping.

“Zavier?”

He doesn’t move, so still it’s causing ragged breaths to pull from my chest. He inches closer, stopping again, and his head tilts.

I close my eyes and count to five, opening them again, but he doesn’t go away, he’s even closer than before.

He can’t be real. If it’s not Zavier, it’s not really here.

Breathing heavier, I shut my eyes tight again and count to ten.

He’s inside the door when I blink them open, head tilting to the other side.

I pinch my skin and hit my hand against my head. “Who are you?” I scream, kicking my feet as he gains another inch into the room. I squeeze my eyes together, counting to twenty while wishing him away, and when I open them, I jump at Zavier reaching for me.

His forehead divots, causing a deep crease between his eyes. “Carino, what is it? Did you have a nightmare?”

“Where did you go?” My voice is full of panic.

He crawls closer, his expression full of worry. “I went downstairs to see if they needed help cleaning up. I saved you some cake and wanted to bring it up, but then I heard you screaming.”

“I thought . . . I thought I saw something.”

“What?” He blinks rapidly, glancing behind him.

“A guy dressed . . . He was wearing all black and a ski mask. He—” I cover my face with my hands. “I’m losing it.”

“Hey.” The bed dips and his hip connects with mine. “None of that. Were you asleep?”

“I must’ve been. You didn’t see anyone out there, did you?”

His eyes shift to the hallway again and he shakes his head, his face not looking convinced. “No, but I can check.”

“No.” A nervous laugh falls from my lips. “It’s fine. No need to do that. It was a bad dream is all.”

“You sure?”

“You act as if it’s normal for people to just see someone watching them sleep inside their family’s home.”

His eyes shift from side to side. “Normal no, but impossible? Also no. Let me go check it out, okay?”

“No.” I grab at his hand, my muscles clamping up. “Don’t go.”

He breathes out deeply, nodding into my neck. “Okay, sweetheart. I won’t. I’ll stay here.”

I hold on to him tightly, breathing in his scent and keeping him here with me for as long as I can.

Because if he’s in the room with me, t no one else can be.

Eyelids slowly peeling back, I look down the long hallway and sink more against him when it’s still only us. Only us is what I need right now.

It isn’t until a few hours later that we finally go downstairs to join my sister and her family for ice cream and a movie.

Zavier stays next to me the whole time, curling up with me on the couch, and when he laughs at a funny scene, I do too.

I don’t see any man in all black and a mask for the rest of the night, and Zavier helps my mind escape from any previous nightmares I may have had by showing me exactly how good he is with both his hands and his mouth.