Page 51 of Little Pieces of Light

Emery

In English class Monday morning, we finished our lesson on applying the themes of Romeo and Juliet to modern life just as the bell rang. I practically jumped out of my seat. I hadn’t had a chance to have the girl talk with Harper that was required after a weekend like the one I’d had with Xander.

“Miss Wallace, can you stay a minute?” Ms. Alvarez said sternly.

Harper raised her brows at me. I shrugged back.

“Sure.”

When the last student had left, Ms. Alvarez shut the door, and a smile broke out over her face. “UCLA sent me a very large, very thick envelope.”

“Oh shit.”

I stared as she pulled a manila envelope from her desk drawer and held it out to me. I took it and was surprised at how heavy it was.

“Go ahead,” she said, beaming like a proud mother. “Open it.”

“You didn’t look and see?”

“This is your moment, Emery. I’m just happy to witness it.”

“It could be nothing,” I said, tearing the envelope open with shaking fingers. “They might’ve just felt sorry for me and wrote a really long rejection letter…”

Dear Emery Wallace,

It is my great pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted to the University of California, Los Angeles for the fall semester…

I stopped reading to stare at Ms. Alvarez. “Oh shit. Sorry I keep saying that.”

“Perfectly understandable.” She came around the desk to hug me. “Congratulations, Emery.”

“Oh wow.” I sank into the desk in front of hers, the strength having drained out of my legs. I’d done it. I’d rebelled against my father and now a different life was ready to burst forth like a sun on an entirely different horizon.

Thousands of miles away from Xander. After he marries me…

I didn’t know it was possible to feel a hundred emotions—fear, hope, relief, sadness—all at the same time. It left me shell-shocked.

Ms. A drew the rest of the brochures and papers from the envelope.

“As I predicted, your tuition assistance is almost nothing. Your federal loans might be restricted too, unless you can separate yourself from your parents’ income.

” She sat down in the desk beside mine. “I know this might seem extreme, but is emancipation an option?”

“No,” I said. “But I have…another option. But it’s desperately wild and I…I don’t want my father to know anything about this.”

“He’ll have to know eventually,” she said gently. “You might benefit from telling him how you feel.”

“I will. With prom. Going to UCLA is just a backup plan.” I gathered the paperwork and put it back in the envelope. Stuffing it back in—taking it all back—because if my dad caught wind of what I’d done…

“Emery, are you all right?” Ms. Alvarez asked, alarmed now.

“I’m fine. Things just got very real.” I pushed the envelope back to Ms. A. “Please keep this for me. I probably won’t need it. In fact, I’m sure I won’t. My father will see what I’m capable of and it’ll be great. Really.”

“Emery…”

It was too much. The agony of leaving Xander finally rearing its head and adding to the abject terror of my dad knowing I’d applied somewhere besides Brown. That I had a plan to escape, that I’d marry a Bender to do it…

No! He doesn’t have to know. Nothing’s happened. Nothing’s changed.

I did what I do best: I pushed it all down and forced a smile. “Thank you for your help, Ms. A. I have to go. Thanks again. Thank you so much.”

And then I practically ran out the door and straight into Harper.

“What was that all about? You look terrified.”

“I’m fine,” I said, keeping my voice down as we headed to lunch. “I just…panicked a little.”

“Because…?”

“I got into UCLA.”

Harper stopped. “That’s amazing! Congrats!”

“No, it’s…nothing,” I said, walking fast.

“Nothing?” Harper hurried to catch up. “Em, talk to me.”

We were outside now, and she guided me to a bench near the front stairs. I told her everything that happened with Xander over the weekend.

“It was really perfect, Harper. He was so considerate and generous, but also so sexy…” I gave my head a shake. “More than that, we said we loved each other, and I’ve never been happier.”

“That sounds lovely. So what happened?”

“I could tell yesterday morning that it’s all starting to take a toll on him.

And I just ran out the door because it scares me too.

Getting into UCLA is another piece of my dream coming true, but the idea of confronting my dad is terrifying.

I keep hoping that he’ll come around and let me go to RISD and… ”

“And you’ll be one big happy family?” Harper shook her head slowly.

“I know,” I said with a sigh. “When I think of California, it feels perfect. Except it’s exactly where Xander is not.”

Harper blew air out her cheeks, then put her arm around me.

“I don’t know what to tell you, except that you have to be true to yourself.

As much as you love Xander, you have to love and honor your own passions and dreams, or you’d just be living half a life.

And I know him. He does not want that for you. ”

I nodded. “He recognized my art even before I did.” I inhaled a breath. “But there’s still time. I don’t have to figure anything out right now.”

“You don’t have to rock the boat, you mean,” Harper said. “Em, you’re going to have to confront your father sooner or later.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

“But—”

“Just let me happy a little while longer, okay? Things might all go to shit later, but it’s too soon for doomsday.” I forced a smile. “The afterglow from my orgasm hasn’t even worn off yet.”

Harper pursed her lips and recited, “‘It was the nightingale, not the lark, that pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear.’”

I recognized the quote from Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet tries to convince Romeo that morning hasn’t come yet after their first night together. That they still have time before the harsh light of day steals away their happiness.

“Yes,” I said. “Exactly.”

“Okay, Em.” Harper sighed. “Just be careful. We all know how that story ends.”

***

That evening after dinner, my father called me into his study. The days were growing longer, but he still had a fire roaring behind him, casting long shadows.

“Emery,” he said. “I have received word from Brown University about your application.”

My throat tried to close up and my mouth went dry. “Oh. Okay.”

He did not look up from where he was sorting his mail. “You were not accepted. They found you…wanting.”

“Oh.” Every drop of blood in my body turned to dust. “I-I don’t know what to say…”

“I got off the phone with their admissions office this afternoon and it seems that not even a sizable donation from Wallace Industries is enough to make you palatable to them.”

They don’t take bribes, you mean.

Another storm of relief and fear raged in my guts. “I’m sorry, Daddy. It’s the math. I just don’t—”

“I trusted you to do all you could to get into Brown, but it’s apparent we must now refocus our efforts.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know yet, Emery,” he said, strangely calm as he regarded me. Then he pulled one of his sudden, disorienting changes of subject. “We are going to have dinner with the Harringtons at the Chart House in Newport on Friday night.”

“Oh. There’s a party after the regatta that night.”

His brows arched, almost amused. “I have yet to decide how you’re going to make it up to the family for this humiliation but allowing you to attend a party is not on the list.”

That stung and tears pricked my eyes. “Can I still go to the regatta?”

“Our reservation is at 8:00 p.m. So long as you’re prepared to leave here at 7:45, I don’t see why not.”

“Okay. Thank you.” I started to go, then stopped. “I’m sorry that I let you down. But just wait until you see what I’m doing with the prom. Honestly, it’s coming together so beautifully—”

“I’m sure it is. That’ll do, Emery.”

I walked out and shut the door behind me.

My father had said some horrible things, but he didn’t seem furious.

He didn’t threaten to kick me out of the house.

A new kind of hope bloomed in me. Maybe now that Brown wasn’t going to happen, he’d finally see I was made for something else.

Something just as good; he just needed to experience it firsthand.

I exhaled a shaky breath. I still had a chance.

***

Friday afternoon, I joined the entire Academy at the marina to watch our Royal Pride rowing crew take on three different schools in half a dozen different races.

Xander’s race, the men’s eight, was the big one.

I was no longer on the dance team, cheering from the dock.

Instead, I hugged Harper’s arm on the bleachers, waiting for the boats to come from around the bend in the two thousand meter.

The marina was packed with people from the different schools, colorful flags were strung up at the dock, and different boats—singles, pairs, and fours—raced in the clear smooth water in front of us.

CHA had won every race and now it was up to my boyfriend and his crew to make it a sweep.

“You look positively radiant,” Harper said. “What gives?”

It had been a hectic week, both Harper and Xander involved in their own activities—her preparing for the recital, him for this race. I’d hardly seen either one and was practically bursting with happiness.

“I didn’t get into Brown. Isn’t that great?”

“Uh, congrats? Wait, did your dad flip his lid?”

“That’s the best part,” I said, my eyes scanning the water, waiting. “He didn’t seem all that pissed. I think maybe he’s coming around.”

“Or he’s got a plan B. Em, are you sure—?”

“Here they come!”

The entire crowd on the bleachers got to its feet, cheering on their guys, while the teams on the dock whooped and hollered.

I watched with my heart in my throat as Xander and his crew came around the bend, the boats cutting through the water like arrows.

Unlike last time, this race wasn’t a sure thing.

Our team, in gold and black, was fighting for their lives, wedged between New Haven Prep and Provincetown Academy.

My lips parted at the sight of Xander, clad in the unisuit that left no part of his perfect physique in question, setting the pace for his crew with brutal, exacting form.

Each guy wore iridescent sunglasses, their mouths sucking air and blowing out with every row, matching his pace, synchronized as if they were one body.

Xander’s grimace of determination was like the one he’d worn in bed the other night, his body moving back and forth…

“Girl…” Harper admonished—the lust must’ve been all over my face.

“I know, but can you blame me?”

Her gaze went back to the boys. “Actually, no, I can’t.”

The crowd grew louder as the racers drew closer to the finish line.

Harper and I jumped up and down, the electricity in the stands infectious, zipping through all of us.

The Royal Pride boat, with Rhett at the bow, inched ahead.

And then again. Then New Haven Prep closed the distance a second later.

“ Pull ,” Dean bellowed, his commands blending in with the other coxswains, the cheers, and the rowdy teammates on the dock.

Then Xander, directly in front of Dean, snarled .

“Oh my God.” I gripped Harper’s arm as my knees went weak.

I knew Xander was reaching down deep for something more—everything he had to give.

And then their boat pulled ahead another half foot, then fell back.

The crowd went insane; I was screaming so loud…

and then they crossed the line ahead of the other two boats by inches.

“They won.” I grabbed Harper by the shoulders. “They won!”

Our crowd went wild, rushing the dock, while the other school’s fans clapped and congratulated one another on an exciting race. Harper and I joined the crowd running to the crew as their boats were pulled ashore. Every rower was exhausted but happy, slumped over and patting one another on the back.

They trudged out of the waist-deep water at the shore as girlfriends, friends, and family flew at them, hugging and snapping pictures.

I watched from a distance, my hands clasped in front of me to keep them to myself, because no one was supposed to know I was with Xander.

He was congratulated heartily by his coaches, Dean, and Harper, but he had no family watching.

No one to fly at him and hug him and tell him that what he’d done was incredible.

The wrongness of leaving him alone in this victory—in hiding us at all—swept through me like wildfire, burning up all my hesitation. I ran, pushing through the crowd, and called his name.

He stood with his hands on his thighs, bent over, still trying to catch his breath. He spotted me just in time to catch me as I flew into his arms and kissed him.

“What are you doing?” he asked breathlessly, a shocked smile on his tired, handsome face.

“What I should have done months ago,” I said. “I love you. I love you so much. I can’t believe you did that. That was one the best things I’ve ever seen.”

Xander’s expression was heartbreakingly happy. He wrapped me in his arms and spun me around, as if now he was allowed to feel every ounce of victory.

“I love you,” he said, and kissed me and I could’ve sworn the crowd was cheering just for us.