Page 46 of Little Pieces of Light

Emery

March

“Happy birthday, dear Emery…” Delilah and Harper sang very loudly—and badly—at our bench under the willow tree in the quad at midmorning break. “Happy birthday to yoooooou.”

Harper handed me a brownie with a candle in it, while Delilah gave me a quick hug. “Make a wish, Em!”

A hundred wishes filled my heart, all of them with Xander’s name on them. But his father was slipping away, and my heart broke for them both.

I wish for Dr. Ford to defy the odds and stay with us for a long time.

I blew out the candle, and Delilah gave me a sly look. “I think I can guess what you wished for. You and Xander? At long last…?”

Heat flushed my cheeks, and my fingers went to the locket over my heart. “I don’t have to wish for that.”

“Eeep!” She clapped her hands while Harper—on my left—rolled her eyes with a laugh. Letting Delilah Winslow in on the fact that Xander and I were together had been the ultimate test of her trustworthiness, and she’d passed with flying colors.

“Xander’s taking me to somewhere secret tomorrow for what he calls ‘a big date.’”

“Are you excited? Nervous?”

“Both, maybe. It feels kind of perfect. We waited long enough but also just the right amount of time.” I waved a hand. “Anyway, I don’t want to get ahead of myself. He says he just wants to be with me in whatever way feels right for both of us.”

“That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard,” Delilah gushed. “Isn’t she lucky?”

“Yes,” Harper said with a tilted smile. “The luckiest.”

My new-and-improved best friend seemed a little down lately but wouldn’t divulge why. She said she’d share when she felt ready, and since I wanted to be a good friend to her, I had to respect her privacy…even if I wanted to hug any hurt right out of her.

I broke off pieces of my birthday brownie for my friends and then took a bite. “So, Delilah, what’s the news from the Other Side? No gossip, just good stuff.”

Since Christmas, I’d spent all my time with Xander, my new friends, and working on the prom. My old life was starting to feel like it had belonged to someone else, and now I had a new one that was inching closer to the one I wanted.

Delilah hesitated. “Elowen and Tucker are official. You may have noticed.”

“Oh, I have,” I said with a laugh. “Their PDA is pretty hard to miss. I guess it was like that when we were together, too. My sincere apologies to the class.”

“Too little too late, my friend,” Harper said, brushing crumbs off her hands.

“You’re not mad?” Delilah asked me. “It’s kind of low of her to get with your ex without talking to you first.”

“Nope,” I said. “Tucker and I were not a great fit, to put it mildly. If they’re happy, I’m happy.”

“Orion’s the one who should be happy that Elowen finally found a new hobby.” Delilah giggled. “She stuck to him like a barnacle for ages.”

Harper stood up, muttering something about throwing her napkin away.

“And speaking of Orion,” Delilah continued. “He’s throwing a party in Atlas Hall after the Head of the Bay Regatta next weekend. Sounds like it’ll be pretty epic.”

“Only if they win,” I said. “If they lose, it’ll be a—”

“A pity party?”

“Nice.” I offered my hand for a high-five.

“What are we high-fiving about?” Harper asked, resuming her seat on the bench.

“Delilah’s terrible joke,” I said. “Also, Orion is throwing a post-regatta rager.”

“Ah.”

“You guys should come,” Delilah said. “Since the entire row crew will be there, you’ll have an excuse to party with your man, Em.”

I sighed. “I suppose, but I’m tired of hiding us. Xander is amazing in every way, and I hate keeping him like a dirty secret.”

“You think your dad would care?” Harper asked. “And who would tell him anyway?”

“Not me,” Delilah said quickly.

“He has his ways,” I said. “And it’s so stupid. I care less and less what he thinks, right up until I have to confront him. Then I’m scared shitless.”

“Well, prom is also going to be epic with a capital E ; that should impress him.” Delilah turned to Harper. “You should see what Emery’s doing. It’s just breathtaking.”

Harper smiled. “I’m not surprised.”

“ We are doing it,” I corrected. “This whole project wouldn’t happen if it weren’t for you.”

Delilah glanced down, touched. “Thanks, Em. That’s nice to hear.”

We finished the brownie, and I gave Delilah a hug goodbye when she stood to leave for class, then Harper and I headed to English. Spring was coming early—the air was losing its icy chill and things were turning green again.

“She turned out pretty well.” Harper nodded at Delilah’s retreating back. “You’d almost think it was possible for people to change,” she said bitterly.

I gave her a concerned look. “Referring to anyone in particular?”

“Ignore me,” she said. “Hey, you want to see a movie or something tonight?”

“I can’t,” I said. “My family is doing a big birthday dinner. We might actually have a nice evening together. That would be a birthday wish come true.” We arrived at Ms. Alvarez’s class. “I know I’m a broken record, but if you ever want to talk…”

Harper silenced me with a hug. “You’re first on my list.”

“I love that so much. Love you .”

“Love you too.”

***

I glanced around to make sure no one was watching before slipping inside the art supply room.

It was as big as most classrooms, with supplies neatly stored in bins and on shelves along the wall and a long table in the center, where Xander was leaning, waiting for me.

Our new lunchtime routine: to find a secluded spot and grab a few stolen moments when pretending we weren’t together grew unbearable.

I shut the door and flew at him, wrapping him in my arms and kissing him hard. He responded at once, his mouth opening for my tongue to explore and taste, and then he took his turn, pressing in, his hands in my hair, kissing me until we were breathless.

“Hello to you too,” he said huskily when we finally came up for air.

“I’m in a good mood,” I said. “We’re in the final stretches for prom. I even have my dress picked out.” I cocked my head. “Come to think of it, the only thing I don’t have is a date.”

Xander ringed his arms around my waist. “Me neither. There’s someone I want to ask, but I’m not sure if it’s allowed.”

I grinned. “It’s allowed. Prom is where I show my dad everything, right? My artistry, my dreams, and…my love.”

I brushed my fingers through Xander’s hair. In all the time we’d been together, we’d never said the words that felt like they’d been waiting to be voiced. Both of us too afraid to say them when the end of the year was uncertain.

I watched Xander push his own doubt away and smile. “Your art is extraordinary. I don’t see how anyone could deny you anything.”

“There you go again, saying all the things that make me melt into a puddle.” He hadn’t even seen my design; I wanted to surprise him, but his faith in me was a present unto itself.

“Well, in that case,” Xander began. “Emery, will you—” He stopped, shaking his head. “Wait, wait, wait. This is your event. Your design, your planning, and your hard work. It doesn’t feel right that I ask you to something that belongs to you.”

“It doesn’t belong to me, but…damn you,” I said, sniffing a laugh. “You’re too much.”

He raised his brows expectantly. “Well? I’m waiting.”

I laughed and nudged his arm. “Xander Ford, will you go to the prom with me?”

“I’d be honored.”

He kissed me then, and I couldn’t help but think of his marriage “proposal.” We hadn’t spoken of it, not once. It was something we didn’t touch—a last resort to help me escape. But now that we had feelings for each other, it seemed even more dangerous somehow.

It won’t come to that.

Xander pulled away and whispered, “Happy birthday.”

“Thank you.” I sank my fingers into his hair, my other hand sliding over his chest, feeling every line and contour through his T-shirt. “You know what that means.”

His face reddened, but his gaze grew dark and even more heated.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” he said, holding my face gently while his eyes roamed, coming again and again to my mouth. “But if you want to…”

“Oh, I want to,” I said. “It’s almost torture not to, at this point.”

He nodded. “I wish I could be with you tonight.”

“Me too,” I said gently. “It’s going to be hard for him, isn’t it? And you.”

While I had my birthday dinner with my family, Xander would be driving his father to Boston to check him into a hospital for the weekend. A specialist was going to run a battery of tests to see how likely it was for him to continue living at home.

“He doesn’t want to go, but we’re coming to the point where there aren’t many choices left anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wish there was something I could do.”

“You’re already doing it,” Xander said, pulling me tighter to him. “You make everything better, just by being you.”

“That’s the best birthday present already.”

“Oh no, I have plans,” he said, brightening. “Tomorrow, you’re all mine.”

“I can’t wait,” I said and kissed him again. “And I’m all yours right now.”

The space immediately grew heated, Xander’s eyes dilated. “That’s true.”

He scooted back on the table and pulled me onto his lap. I straddled him in my leggings. His mouth took mine in a heated kiss while his hand trailed down my shirt, pausing to cup my breast, thumb circling my nipple over my shirt.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” I said, my heart already pounding. “Only a few minutes.”

He took off his glasses and set them beside him with deliberate slowness, his gaze and voice heavy with authority and intention.

“That’s all I need.”

***

I got home from school just in time to meet my parents as they were walking out the door. Both were dressed for a gala, my mother in a (real) full-length chinchilla coat over a black cocktail dress, and my father in a tux.

“I didn’t realize my birthday dinner was black-tie formal,” I said with a weak smile, just as Colin walked past carrying two small pieces of luggage to the car.