Page 33 of Little Pieces of Light

I heard his unspoken words, an echo of what he’d said the other night about love. Because he’d been hurt so badly before. His heart broken by his mother who should have loved him forever and instead taught him that love had limits.

“Okay,” I whispered. “If that’s what you want.”

He met my eyes head on. “That’s what I want.”

And then my heart broke, too.

Silence, and then footsteps. Dean and Harper slowly came around the corner.

“Hey, guys,” Dean said slowly. “Everything cool?”

“I need to go home,” I managed.

“I’ll take you.” Harper offered me the puffy sleeve of her arm—she was dressed as a suffragette—and I took it. Xander gave me a final pained glance, and then I couldn’t see through my tears.

Harper hustled me through the crowd, so I didn’t have to see or talk to anybody. In her car, an old Prius, I slumped in the passenger seat and cried.

“Oh, babe,” Harper said, pulling me in for a hug. “Is now a bad time to say I knew it all along?”

“What did you know?”

“You and Xander—”

“There is no me and Xander.” I looked up at her through my tears. “Please, Harper. Take me home.”

***

Harper dropped me off, and I trudged up the drive to the house. It was late, after eleven, and I headed straight through the quiet dark toward my room. I was almost at the stairs when my father’s voice—soft and calm—made me freeze.

“Emery. Come here a moment.”

The door to Dad’s study was open, and a faint glow of yellow light reached the hall.

I stepped inside. He had a fire going—the flames burning behind him and casting him in shadow.

The small green Tiffany lamp on his desk cast more shadows against his sharp nose and gleamed over his balding head, which was bent over some papers.

“Sit.”

I obeyed, sinking into the seat across from him, my hands folded in the lap of my dress, every muscle in my body tense, my heart still aching from the conversation with Xander. After several long moments, my father set his pen down and regarded me.

“Did you win?”

I blinked. “Win…?”

“The costume contest. Tucker seemed quite confident you two would win Best Couple.”

“Oh. Uh, no. We didn’t win.”

My heart was pounding now under my dad’s scrutiny, as if he knew. As if he could see it on my face that I had won, just not with his golden boy. I’d won Best Couple with the boy who didn’t want me…

“That’s a shame,” Dad said. “You’re home early. I’d have thought you and Tucker would have stayed later at the party.”

“I…I’m not feeling well.”

Dad nodded. “We never talked after that Xander fellow left the other day.”

My hands made fists in my lap. “He didn’t leave, Daddy,” I said slowly, feeling like I was poking a rattlesnake but was unable to help myself. “You kicked him out.”

“I know what I saw, Emery,” Dad said. “And I didn’t like it.”

He let the words hang in the air between us, thick with disapproval and unspoken warning. Just when I thought I’d shatter with the tension, he leaned back in his chair.

“The Narragansett Bay Regatta is coming up. The same night as the election, as it happens. Until that time, we need to keep a united front with the Hills. You’ll attend the election watch party with Tucker, of course.”

“I don’t want to be with Tucker anymore,” I said, hardly a whisper. “I broke up with him—”

My father got up from his chair and came around desktop my side, speaking as if he hadn’t heard me. Or chose not to.

“Duty to family, Emery. There’s nothing more important.” He sat on the edge of his desk, looming over me. “I know that you know that, which is why I’m so proud of you.”

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. “You are?”

“Of course. It’s natural to have a slip up now and then. But one must never lose sight of the goal.”

He took my hands and drew me to my feet.

“Never forget, Emery, infatuations come and go. At times, we’re led by our hearts, but hearts are foolish.

Impractical. What the heart wants usually leads to pain and will rarely keep a roof over our heads.

You’re smarter than that. You have every advantage in the world, and I know you won’t throw it away over a soft moment or two, will you? ”

I stared. Everything he was saying was at war with what I felt, but he was right—my own heart had led me straight to pain.

And why was that? Because of a “soft moment” seven years ago that Xander himself said didn’t mean to him what it did to me.

A small part of me screamed not to listen to either of them, to hold on to the truth in my heart, but where would it get me? Out on the street. In the cold.

I shook my head. “No, Daddy.”

“Of course not. Because that’s something only stupid people do. Are you stupid?”

My throat went dry. “No.”

He smiled then, so proud. Pleased. Happy with me.

“That’s right.”

And then to my utter shock, he wrapped his arms around me in a warm hug. It was over before I could move or think and was followed by a pat on my cheek.

“It’s late. Get some sleep.”

He returned to his desk, bent over his papers, and got back to work without another word.

I left his study and headed upstairs feeling numb, hollowed out. Before I found my door, my mother opened hers.

“Emery…” She was dressed in her silk pajamas, her eyes shadowed but clear. “I thought I heard you come in. Is everything all right?”

“Yes, Mom. Everything’s fine. I’m just…tired.” I managed a smile. “It’s been a long day.”

“Did Tucker drop you off?”

“No, my friend. Harper.”

“And things are good with you and…him?”

“Great,” I managed weakly. “Our costumes were a big hit.”

“Emery.” She took a step closer. “Does he…treat you well?”

It was the first time she’d ever asked me something like that.

I swallowed hard. “Sure. He’s fine.”

“And that other boy? Xander?”

“He’s just a friend. Actually, I don’t know if he’s even that anymore,” I said, fighting back tears. “You don’t have to worry, Mom. You won’t see him here again. I promise.”

My mother’s brows came together, and she wore an expression I couldn’t read in the dim light. “Oh. Okay, then.”

“Goodnight,” I said, and hurried into my room.

I shut the door, kicked off my shoes, and crawled into bed. For a long while, I lay still, staring at the ceiling until the numbness thawed, and then I cried until there was nothing left.