Page 4 of Leave Me Not: Nick & Elissa #2 (Badger Creek Duet #8)

4

ELISSA

W ell, I’m certain Arizona will be the last vacation I take at this time of the year. The lodge is packed, and the staff is struggling to keep up. Not their fault, and really not mine either for traveling during our peak season, but rather the fact that this is the first year with all the new updates. We’ve never been this busy, now able to compete with the surrounding lodges and resorts.

I let out a yawn, barely able to keep up, knowing this baby is already taking a lot out of me. As shocked as I was to find out I’m pregnant, I did come to terms with it while at home with my mom. I started Googling, seeing what to expect, and my mom did have a few books left from when she got pregnant with me.

Turns out being totally fucking exhausted is on the list, and it’s kicking my ass. Covering my mouth, I yawn again, just as Russ flags me over.

Russ has been working here for a few years with the hopes of finishing his courses to become a ski medic like Max. It’s going to suck when he does because he’s one of the best I have working here.

“What’s up?” I ask, meeting him at the check-in counter where he’s currently standing with a customer.

“Lift ticket is from yesterday,” Russ tells me, showing me the scan code on the man’s phone. “But he just arrived today. Didn’t realize the date, I guess,” Russ kind of whispers to me, giving a shrug.

“Sir, your lift ticket is for yesterday. I understand that this is an honest mistake, but we are fully booked today,” I tell him, and I see Russ swallow hard, obviously he’s already had this conversation.

“I’m here and I don’t understand why you don’t reserve reservations for this specific purpose,” the man replies, his face pinched, and his breathing accelerated.

“We can’t do that, sir. We book up months in advance, and we can only guarantee a lift ticket to the people who have paid for their specific dates. I do know that Eagle River Lodge tends to have daily lift tickets available since they are on a smaller mountain. I can help arrange a ticket for you to use there today, and we can book you here tomorrow.”

It doesn’t matter what I say right now, this man doesn’t give a shit. He’s pissed off about his lack of planning and somehow, he thinks it’s my fault. The worst part of customer service is that I have to keep pretending this isn’t a ridiculous conversation.

“I’m not leaving here till I get a lift ticket or a refund,” he demands, a line growing behind him, a line that contains people who have paid for tickets today and are growing impatient having to wait, worried they won’t get the good equipment.

I turn to Russ, asking him to grab the iPad and begin checking people in, telling him to get a few staff from the back to help out. It feels like I’m going to be here a while with this guy.

“Sir, issuing a refund is not an option. I would be happy to transfer your lift ticket to tomorrow or you can purchase a ticket at another resort if you wish to ski today.” I try to keep my words firm, but as all this is going on, I can feel that wave of morning nausea that had been in full swing last week. It certainly wasn’t the stomach flu like I originally thought.

There’s no ignoring it despite my attempt to try, and I swallow hard. Growing sweaty as this man begins to raise his voice, carrying on and being loud as he looks around hoping to find someone who will support him. Not a person in the lodge moves, more concerned about getting their lift tickets printed and their rented gear collected.

The louder he gets, the more the room begins to spin, my stomach churning, my breathing growing labored.

“Are you even listening to me?” the man shouts, slamming his hands on the counter in front of us. “My family did not fly four hours to be turned away. This is our vacation, and we expect to ski. My kids are?—”

It’s my spectacular stomach acrobatics that shut him up pretty quickly as I whip around and throw up in the trash can behind the counter.

It looks like this is going to be my life for the next several months, so anyone who is working here or visiting the lodge, is going to need to get used to it.

I swipe at my mouth with a tissue and take a drink of water from the bottle I have resting on the shelf behind me. I feel slightly better now that I’ve thrown up, but it’s probably not the last time it will happen today.

“Now is there anything else I can help you with?” I ask, as the man stands there, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open. “I’m not sick,” I tell him, trying my best not to roll my eyes at this moron who is hell bent on arguing over something idiotic. “I’m pregnant, so again, do you need anything else? Can I book you and your family a reservation for tomorrow?”

It all comes out of my mouth so quickly and I don’t even realize that all of my employees are also probably listening even if they are trying to make it look like they aren’t.

Shit.

Nick doesn’t even know, and word in the Badger Creek world travels fast. The last thing I need is this getting back to Nick before I have a chance to tell him. It’s bad enough that I’ve kept it from him for this long, and that I went straight to tell my mom, and now I’ve blurted it out in front of people who are probably figuring out who to text the news to.

Such a massive fuck up.

I look around, seeing all the faces watching me and they quickly look away, pretending to be busy checking people in, but I know they heard me. And it’s not like I can stop what I’m doing and call a meeting telling all of them to keep their mouths shut until I get a chance to talk to Nick.

I can’t even leave here right now to do that. We’re way too busy for that, so I continue on like I didn’t just tell some random stranger that I’m pregnant. Plus, this asshole is still standing here waiting for me to fix the mess he made on his own.

I need him to go away, and I really need a mint or to brush my teeth, so I do what I should have done as soon as I felt that nausea coming on.

“Here are lift tickets for tomorrow and a voucher for lessons, and since you missed your tickets for yesterday, I’ve included a free lunch for you and your family on us, and for later today, please visit the front desk for a complimentary s’mores kit. You can use this in your room or we have a story hour by the big fireplace in the lobby for families.”

I let out a hard sigh, praying like hell he decides this is enough compensation for his mistake that he seems to still want to blame me for. The only thing I can think of is that his wife is furious with him, and he does not want to admit he fucked up. But again, not my problem, and right now I feel like I’m going to puke again if I don’t eat something fast.

“Was that so hard?” he asks me, taking everything I’ve set on the counter in front of him. “We’ll see you tomorrow.” He’s smiling now, and I hate that I’ve totally given in to this asshole, but I really just need to keep the peace right now, and I also need to figure out how to talk to my staff about what just spilled from my mouth.

We’re packed and busy until around noon, things finally dying off. Thankfully I was able to keep the vomiting at bay by snacking on a couple of those kiddie peanut butter and jelly sandwiches they stock at the café next door to the ski lodge.

I have no idea how to address this with anyone, but I know I need to, and more than that, I need to get out of here early so I can meet up with Nick.

Taking in the nearly empty room, I quickly gather the staff behind the counter, trying to make this announcement without being swamped with customers again.

“Can I have everyone’s attention please?” I call out, my staff stopping what they are doing and meeting my stare. “I’m going to assume that everyone heard my announcement without me actually announcing it.”

A few of them give me a look that says they have no idea what I’m talking about, but then I do get a few nods from others, and then there are the ones who don’t know how to respond. I am their boss and we do spend a lot of time together. We are a little family here and we know quite a bit about each other’s lives. All of us would be shocked if anyone announced they were pregnant, and I’m sure they’re even more shocked that it’s me.

“I’m pregnant. Turns out I wasn’t sick the last few weeks, but rather knocked up,” I say, trying to make a little joke out of it. “What I need from all of you, is to keep this quiet for a while. I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t need the Badger Creek gossip mill running full force on this. That’s all I ask.”

I get a few muttered responses agreeing to what I’ve asked and then I ask if anyone has any questions. This is probably something that should go down on my list of biggest regrets, right there with cutting my own bangs and skiing in a bikini.

“Are you keeping it?” Meg, one of the younger staff asks, and I hate how I respond to her. To her this is probably a nightmare, and honestly, a few days ago it was also my nightmare too.

“Yes!” I shout out, appalled at her question, but instantly regretting my response. I’ve always been pro-choice and would never judge anyone for a decision they make about their body. “I’m sorry, valid question since it’s clear that I’ve been single for a long time, but yes, I am going to have the baby.”

“Who’s the dad?” Russ asks, and I should have known this question was coming. “Do you know the dad?” he tacks on, and I swear it feels like these people don’t know me at all. I’m not out sleeping around and even if I was, I’m certain I would have been using protection.

“Yes, I know the dad and I’m not sharing who it is until he knows,” I respond, that regret of opening myself up to questions is beginning to slap me in the face.

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts, realizing I couldn’t have hidden this from them forever especially since I seem to be a puke machine. And it’s now dawning on me that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches might be a pregnancy craving. I’ve never once inhaled three of those mini sandwiches like I did just a little while ago, and I kind of want another.

“I need to meet with the dad today, so again, I ask that you not say anything until I can get over there and share the news with him.”

“Is it Nick?” Russ asks, coming right out with it, and the room begins to echo his question. There’s no way that all of them weren’t thinking it, just too hesitant to ask it. There’s really no one else it could be, and he’s been here helping out, everyone knowing he’s back in town.

I don’t know how to respond. I feel like I’ve done so much lying and keeping things to myself over the past few days, but again, I can’t share anything more until Nick knows.

“I’m going to be done answering questions, but please, please, please, don’t talk about this with anyone outside of this room.”

All I can do is beg and hope that they respect what I’m asking of them. I really only need it to stay between us until I get off work. The good news is, Nick has PT and that’s all he has planned today. I need him to stay inside and away from Badger Creek.

The day passes quickly and the amount of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I’ve consumed feels like some sort of record. Might be contacting Guinness to see who holds the record, and if there isn’t one, I’m putting my name in for the running.

As I pull into the driveway of Nick’s parents’ house, I feel my heart begin to race. I’ve never been scared to tell Nick anything. Even when we broke up, I wasn’t scared or nervous, just knowing that as much as I didn’t want it to happen, it needed to.

But today, I’m fucking terrified.

I have no idea how he’s going to react, and I worry about his future. I don’t ever want to be the reason he ends up stuck in this sleepy little ski town, a place he longed to leave.

I take in a hard breath, preparing myself for what I know is going to be the hardest conversation I’ve ever had, but also hoping something positive comes out of this.

When I walk in, he’s sitting at the kitchen table almost like he’s been waiting for me to get home. Turning to look at me, there’s an anger I can feel the second he lays eyes on me, and I know instantly that he knows.

“Were you ever going to tell me you’re pregnant?” Nick spits out, the hurt and anger in his words filling the room.

“Nick, it’s not like that,” I start, but he stands up, his face red, his hands clenched into fists at his side.

“When did you take this test?” He holds up the test I stashed in my suitcase, forgetting that I had buried it in my dirty clothes. He must have unpacked our things when we got home. “Does my mom know? My sister? Did you keep this from me to hurt me?”

With each question he asks, I can hear the tone in his voice change, growing louder every time he speaks. I get that he’s mad, but he hasn’t even let me talk. This is how we are though, arguing without letting the other person’s words sink in.

“No one knows, Nick. Fuck, can you let me explain?” I shake my head, realizing I’ve told him no one knows, but that isn’t true. “Sorry, that’s a lie, no one in your family knows.”

“Oh, that makes me feel so much better,” he hisses, sarcasm dripping from his words. He throws his hands up, tossing the pregnancy test onto the table, where it bounces around before skittering to a stop.

“Listen, you didn’t tell me about the meeting with your coach and I didn’t hold that against you. Can you settle down for just a fucking second.”

“You are not going to throw this back on me, Elissa. You’re fucking pregnant. This affects both of us and you didn’t tell me,” Nick says, and I feel the tears well up in my eyes.

As much as I wanted this to be something happy, I knew deep down it wasn’t going to be. He deserves to be hurt and angry. I did keep it from him, but not because I was trying to hurt him. I never want to hurt him again. We’ve been there and I still regret the things I said to him back then.

“Nick, please.”

The tears fall down my cheeks, the desperation in my voice echoes in the stillness of the room.

All I want is for him to take me in his arms and tell me everything will be okay, but I have no idea if we’ll ever get there.