Page 14 of Leave Me Not: Nick & Elissa #2 (Badger Creek Duet #8)

14

ELISSA

W e spent almost exactly till midnight with our friends, laughing and enjoying the night, but as soon as that clock struck, Nick weaved his hand in mine, and we were out the door. It sucks that we’re about to end these last few months of being together every day. I’m not sure how we’re going to do it, but we don’t really have a choice.

I’m lying here in bed, the morning sun just beginning to rise, and as much as I want to stay in bed, Badger Creek calls. It’s going to be busy today with all the tourists ready to start their new year on the slopes.

Nick leaves tonight, his flight taking off at eight p.m., the latest flight he could get to Park City from Tahoe. I took the day off today, but I can’t stay away from Badger Creek unfortunately. I plan to go in early, get everything ready to go and then try to get out of there before the chaos ensues. That probably won’t happen.

My ultrasound is scheduled for today at nine. We were lucky that we were able to get it in before Nick leaves and on New Year’s Day.

“You’re really going in this early?” Nick mutters from under the pile of blankets and pillows he’s currently cocooned in.

“Yes, it’s called a job, and they’re counting on me. You know what it’s like over the holiday season,” I tell him, snuggling into the pile of bedding.

“I know,” Nick replies, groggy and muttered. “Just like the team is counting on me to come back.”

“And just like we’re counting on the lawyer to get you out of your contract,” I add, sending up a silent plea for all of that to work out and bring Nick back here quickly.

I try not to let my mind wander, worrying about if Nick reinjures his knee before that can happen or if he has to stay and he can’t get out of his contract. I’ve tried to think of all the ways we can make this work, and nothing seems like a good idea. I want to raise the baby here with all our friends and my mom. I don’t want to travel the world with the US team, following Nick from stop to stop with a baby in tow.

“That’s the biggest thing I’m counting on,” Nick replies. “I need that like I need fucking air.” I can hear the nervousness mixed with anger in his tone, and I understand. All of this has been a lot for him, not to mention that we’re now having a baby.

What’s crazier is to think how quickly our lives have changed. Making the US ski team and training for the Olympics were Nick’s biggest goals in life, and now he’s trying his damnedest to get out of his contract.

“Me too,” I whisper, not wanting him to feel any more stress and guilt than he already feels. “We will get through this.” I want to be encouraging. I want him to make the decision that is right for him, not just make it because it’s the right thing to do.

I still go back to what my mom said the day I told her I was pregnant. She said that people live like this all the time. People travel for work. Parents raise kids on their own. No one would think anything about it if Nick decided to stay with the team, leaving me here to raise our baby. It’s just the nature of his job.

But I know that isn’t what he wants and it’s not what I want either. I want us to be a family, the kind that lives together and has dinner together every night, the kind of family I never had growing up.

“I’ll be back in an hour,” I say, changing the subject, not wanting to talk about the contract or him leaving or the baby for too long, afraid I might start to cry.

“An hour?” he laughs, questioning me. “I feel like that can’t possibly be true.”

“Stop it. I will be back in an hour. I’m not even supposed to be working today. I took the day off to go to the ultrasound and then spend the rest of the day with you.” I let out a mock annoyed huff, dragging myself from the warmth of the bed.

“What time does the mountain open today?” Nick now asks, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking of hitting the slopes before he leaves.

“Not until nine,” I say, pulling on a pair of leggings, not bothering to shower. I’ll get a quick one in before the ultrasound. “Holiday hours,” I add, although we don’t open all that earlier on a regular day.

“Have to say, Lis, your hours are pretty damn good. The mountain usually opens at eight and closes at five, unless there’s night skiing,” Nick says, propping himself up on his elbow as he watches me get dressed.

“Yeah, I know, and with the daycare on site, it should be pretty easy to get back to work after the baby is born,” I reply, thinking about how I’m going to need to get back to work, especially if Nick ends up having to pay back the money he was given from the team.

“I think it would be good for you to be home as long as you can,” Nick says. “Be home with the baby. Maybe at least twelve weeks, that’s what most companies offer.”

“Oh really? Been doing your research?” I tease. “I would love to be home with the baby for twelve weeks, Nick, but I’m not sure our situation will allow it.”

“You are going to be home for twelve weeks. I’m going to make sure of it. If you want to stay home longer, I’ll make it work,” he says, almost a challenge in his words.

“Badger Creek gives me six weeks of paid leave, but after that it’s unpaid. Honestly, the six weeks is super generous. Most places around here give nothing. Can you imagine having a baby and having to go back to work almost immediately? After talking to Harper, she says it’s really fucking hard.”

“I’m sure it is. Your body just birthed a live human. That’s why I’m going to make sure you get to take as much time as you need,” Nick says.

“We’ll talk about it as it gets closer,” I reply, pushing the conversation to the side. We can’t begin to talk about what things will look like after the baby is born when we don’t even know what tomorrow will look like.

“Lis, I promise you, you don’t have to worry about money,” Nick assures, but he knows that isn’t true.

“Nick…” I start, stopping as I swallow hard, thinking about him leaving, thinking about how we’re going to support ourselves if he leaves the team.

“Elissa,” he says back, smiling at me through the dimly lit room. “It’s going to work out.”

“You have always been confident in everything, and then there’s me, worried as hell.” I laugh, trying to make light of the whole thing. He has always been this way, and honestly, his life just kind of works out that way. He’s lucky or he’s just that damn good at life.

He shrugs, chuckling a little. “Head over to the lodge, I’ll see you later today. And you know what else?”

“What?”

“We get to see our baby today. And according to this book, if you did get pregnant that first day I was back, then the baby is the size of a pear.” Nick holds up a book, showing me the cover. “I got it from Max.”

I laugh, dying at how cute Max and Nick are with mine and Harper’s pregnancies. The book is just for expecting fathers and details a pregnancy week by week.

“Oh my god, you and Max are exchanging books?” I croon, almost in tears with how adorable it all is.

“No, he bought me the book as a dad gift,” Nick admits, and that’s even cuter than I thought. “We’re both reading it and talking about it.”

“You’re having a dad book club!” I squeal, making Nick laugh. “Anything in there about my morning sickness that I haven’t already read?”

“No,” he says, pushing out his bottom lip in a pout. “Same things you’ve already read. Make sure you’re eating, try ginger, carbs, peppermint tea.”

“Thanks for trying,” I tell him, leaning down to give him a kiss. “I’m going to go. I’ll see you soon and then we get to see the baby too!”

“Love you, Lis.”

“Love you.”

I don’t make it back in an hour, but I come pretty damn close, pulling into the driveway of Nick’s parents’ house about twenty minutes late. Of course this only makes Nick take out his phone and look at the time.

“Just get in the car!” I call out, laughing. “We’re going to be late for the ultrasound if you don’t get moving.”

Nick is standing on the porch, his smile wide as he makes his way to my car. I watch him, taking in his beautiful face, reminding myself that he leaves in less than eight hours and even though we already have plans for me to visit, it’s hard to think about him leaving.

“Hey, looks like you might be a little late,” Nick says as he climbs in, and I reach over and swat him on the arm. “Just saying, not that it matters. I planned for it, so no big deal.”

“Planned for what? I was picking you up anyway. What, did you eat your cinnamon roll, drink your coffee and take your morning poop an hour later?” I tease.

“Sounds pretty accurate,” Nick replies as I back out of the driveway and head toward the medical center.

“Well, your mornings are about to change,” I say, smiling a little, trying to get excited about him going back to the team even when I’m totally not. “I see lots of jumping and skiing in your future.”

“Yeah, I know, and I really wish I could be more excited about it,” Nick admits. “I never thought I’d be pissed about spending my days practicing jumps and being out on the slopes for hours.”

“Weird, right? I never thought I’d see a day where I wasn’t skiing, but here we are.” I shrug. “I guess this is what it feels like to be an adult. We have to make decisions that we don’t want to make, and we have to do things that make other people happy.”

“One day, our life will be to make us and our baby happy,” Nick says, reaching over to rest his hand on my stomach.

I nod, wishing like hell all of this works out, needing the lawyer to find that loophole or for Nick to find a way to get back here without the massive ding to our finances.

I pull into the parking lot, feeling slightly bad that we’re here on New Year’s Day, shocked that they are even open, but grateful we can get this done before Nick has to leave. I can’t imagine being here without him. I know he’d be crushed if he missed seeing the baby.

“You ready?” I ask him, my thoughts pushed aside for a few minutes as we focus on what’s important right now.

“Fuck yes. Max said the baby should look like a baby now and not just a blob or a bean. He said when Harper had an ultrasound early on, it was like a bean, and he was embarrassed to admit he had no idea which end was the head and which end was the ass.”

I laugh out loud at Nick’s comment, not only dying at the conversation those two were having, but also because I could see Nick thinking the same thing.

“Think we’ll get to find out the sex today?” Nick now asks, and my mouth drops open, shaking my head.

“I don’t want to know,” I tell him, shocked that he wants to know. I guess we didn’t really talk about that at all.

“Seriously?” he asks, sounding as equally shocked as I am. “I kinda do want to know,” he now admits, clenching his teeth together as he wrinkles up his nose, waiting for my response.

“Really? Shit, we didn’t talk about this. I don’t want to know. There are very few things in life that are a surprise anymore. Don’t you want to be surprised?”

“If that’s what you want, then yes, I want to be surprised,” Nick quickly says, smiling at me. He takes my hand in his, pressing a kiss to my palm. “I love you, Lis and it doesn’t really matter if the baby is a boy or a girl, as long as the baby is healthy and so are you.”

“Are you sure?” I ask him as we exit the car and head into the building.

“Absolutely, but we’ll see how you feel about it once you see that little pear on the screen,” Nick says, winking at me.

“I guess that’s true, I might change my mind.”