Page 3 of Leave Me Not: Nick & Elissa #2 (Badger Creek Duet #8)

3

NICK

I wake up feeling like shit. Partly because Lis stayed with her mom last night and I hate sleeping without her and partly because it really feels like something is going on with her, even if she keeps insisting everything is okay.

Throw in the fact that I have that meeting with my coach today and my head is all sorts of fucked up right now.

Groaning, I roll over and reach for my phone. After she sent me the text telling me she was staying at her and her mom’s house, I’d just texted back to tell her I love her. I didn’t ask her again if she was okay, and I didn’t ask if she wanted me to come over.

I wanted to, but maybe she and her mom just wanted to catch up and spend time together. I had taken Lis away from here for all of Christmas to spend with my family, so maybe it was selfish of me to expect she’d drop by, see Judy for a few hours and then come back here.

And as much as I would’ve loved to have gone over there after drinking with the boys, we all stayed probably longer than we planned and the last thing I wanted was to show up at Judy’s place drunk. So I came home and slept like shit by myself.

Opening up the message thread, I can see that while Lis didn’t respond to my message last night, she has sent me one this morning.

Lis: Hey, already at work, early start and it’s chaos here. Good luck with your meeting today, I’ll come over after work, if you’re going to be home? There’s something I want to chat with you about.

I glance at the time, noticing she sent the message over two hours ago, before I type out a response.

Me: Thanks, babe and YES, please come over, I missed you last night. Hope work isn’t too crazy. Also, any hints??

I swallow hard as I stare at our messages, all of that worry I’ve had over the past few days still swirling in my head as I try to figure out if something really is wrong with us. And what it is that she wants to chat with me about. Clearly, it’s something serious, something that can’t be said in a text message, but what?

Maybe she’s changed her mind about coming with me if I make it back on the team? It’s the only real thing I can come up with because I can’t believe for one second that Lis wants to break up. Not now, not after everything we’ve been through.

I wait to see if she texts me back, but no message comes through, and I try to chalk it up to her being busy at work. She did say it’s chaos there and she has been off for a few days, so I’m sure she has heaps to catch up on.

Instead, I get up, wandering into the kitchen to put on some coffee. After I’ve grabbed a cup, I head back to my bedroom, pulling on a t-shirt as I see our unpacked bags still sitting on the floor by my desk.

I’d meant to unpack them yesterday, but then Alex had texted, and I’d hung out with the guys before eventually coming home and crashing. Now though, I have no excuse, so I take a sip of coffee, leaving my mug on the desk as I grab both bags, open them up and empty the contents onto my bed, figuring I’ll put in a load and then maybe head down and see if I can help Lis out at the lodge. It feels like the least I can do for her.

A pile of clothes and other shit falls out and I begin separating out our dirty clothes from everything else, smiling when I hold up the tiny string bikini Lis had been wearing when I came home from golf. Fuck, she looked so good in it, and it had taken all of my self-control not to tug on the strings when we’d jumped in the pool together that afternoon.

Just as I’m about to grab the clothes, my phone pings with a notification. Thinking it’s a message from Lis, I grab it, my smile falling when I see it’s an alert, reminding me of the PT appointment I have in 30 minutes.

“Fuck,” I say, quickly organizing an Uber as I leave the dirty clothes on my bed and instead pull on a t-shirt and some sweats before grabbing my sneakers.

Mandy calls me into her office not long after I arrive and when I walk in, I see that instead of a video conference, it’s actually now going to be a face-to-face meeting, because my coach is here in Badger Creek, along with the team doctor.

“Nick,” the coach says, smiling as he stands and holds out his hand. “You’re looking good.”

“Ah, thanks,” I reply, trying to mask my confusion as I say, “I thought this was going to be a video meet?”

The coach smiles, sitting back down beside the team doctor as he says, “It was, but then we had some time on our hands and thought why not come and see you in person, get an idea of how that knee of yours is doing. It’s looking good by the way, you walked in here like you weren’t even injured.”

I glance at Mandy, who for the first time in as long as I’ve been coming here, isn’t smiling. When I turn back to the coach and doctor, they’re both smiling up at me, with what I’m guessing is my file resting on the team doc’s lap.”

“Um, I mean yeah, thanks. It’s definitely getting better,” I say, taking the last spare seat, as Mandy sits beside me.

“Great,” the coach says, clapping his hands together. “Doc here has had a look through your file, and it looks as though things are coming together nicely, so we were thinking we might be able to accelerate the rehab, get you back out there sooner than we thought.”

“Accelerate?” I ask, shooting Mandy a quick look. She’s clearly not happy about this suggestion, the look on her face telling me she doesn’t agree with what the coach is saying.

“Yes,” the coach confirms. “We thought perhaps it was time to get you back out on the slopes, see what kind of form you have.”

Mandy shifts beside me, leaning forward a little as she says, “I’m just going to voice my concern and objection to this plan. Again. It’s far too early for Nick to risk skiing just yet. He’s had a major injury that required extensive surgery and rehab. Rehab that is still ongoing.”

I turn to her. “You think it’s too early?” I ask, knowing that as frustrated as I’ve been about not skiing, the last thing I want is to reinjure myself. That would be a death sentence for sure.

“Yes, Nick, I do,” she says with a nod. “I know you want to get back to skiing, back to the team, but your knee isn’t stable enough yet. If you reinjure it now, you risk further damage that could prolong your return even longer.”

I glance over at the coach who is scrolling through his phone like he doesn’t give a shit what Mandy is saying. “But you do think I’ll be able to ski again?” I ask, turning back to my PT. “One day?”

“One day, yes,” she says with a nod. “But like I and your surgeon have said, aerial jumps might not be an option for you anymore, Nick. This, it’s…it’s a big risk, even at your age and fitness level.”

I turn to the team doctor now, the guy who also disagreed with my surgeon when he told me it would take nine months for a full recovery. “What do you think, doc?” I ask.

The doctor picks up my file, flicking through it as though to remind himself of what he’s just read, or maybe to actually look at it for the first time. “I think some scans would be good, but yes, it’s possible we can get you back out on the slopes sooner than we expected.”

Mandy huffs out a breath beside me. “Once again, I do not agree with this and neither does your surgeon.” She turns to me again. “I spoke with him yesterday, Nick, in preparation for this meeting. He thinks it’s far too soon for you to risk getting on skis again.”

Sitting back in my chair, I shove a rough hand through my hair, more confused than ever. I thought today’s meeting with my coach was going to be a positive thing. An idea at least of where I stand in terms of skiing and coming back to the team. But right now, it feels anything but.

“So hang on, let me get this straight,” I start. “On one hand, I have my surgeon and my PT telling me my recovery is going to take longer and that I shouldn’t ski yet, and possibly not jump ever. And on the other hand, my coach and the team doc are telling me it’s going well, and I can ski again. Who do I believe here?”

The coach smiles, leaning forward as he rests his elbows on his knees. “We all want the same thing here, Nick,” he says. “A full recovery and for you to return to competitive skiing.”

“Jumping,” Mandy mutters beside me.

“It’s not going to happen overnight,” the coach continues, clearly ignoring Mandy’s comment. “But we do think it can and as a result, we’d like you to come back to Park City. Start working your way up to the aerial stuff again.”

“What?” I shout, not expecting him to say that. I always knew, or at least hoped, my time in Badger Creek would be temporary. That as soon as I got my knee taken care of, I’d be back with the team, competing and training for the Olympics again. Only this time with Lis.

But as Mandy has constantly been reminding me, this kind of injury is major, and I should expect nine months of rehab before I am considered fully recovered. And even then, she didn’t want me jumping. Not then, not ever.

Yet here’s my coach and the team doctor, two people who should have my best interests at heart, telling me to ignore that advice and get back on some skis now. Who the hell am I supposed to believe?

“Look, Nick,” the coach says, as though somehow sensing my confusion. “I know this is fast and I know this is a lot, but you know we only want what’s best for you. You’re one of the best jumpers we have, and we know you’ve got it in you to get back to that form. We just want to help you get there.”

I sink back in my chair, having no clue who is telling me the truth and who is bullshitting me. Beside me, I can feel the anger radiating from Mandy as she listens to the coach but is that anger justified or is she just pissed that someone’s going over her head and calling the shots on my recovery.

“So, what do you think?” the coach asks, a huge grin on his face.

Blowing out a breath, I scrub a hand down my face, knowing he’s expecting me to make a pretty major decision right now, but having no clue as to what that decision should be. I know deep down that I really want to get back to skiing, especially now Lis has told me she will come with me, that we won’t have to be apart.

But on the flipside, this is all happening way faster than I expected. Too fast for Lis and I to get anything organized and maybe too fast for my knee to be able to withstand it if Mandy and my surgeon are telling me the truth.

“I think…” I pause, pulling my phone from my pocket as I contemplate calling Lis to see what she thinks. But like whatever it is she wants to talk to me about, I know this isn’t a conversation we can have over the phone. It’s far too serious and it’s something that affects both of us. “Yeah, look, I think I need a couple of days to think about it. Is that cool?”

The coach gives me a smile, his hands up as he says, “Of course, Nick, take a day or so and we can chat some more. We’re in town for the rest of the week, so there’s no rush. Well, not too much anyway,” he adds with a wink.

I don’t get a chance to speak with Mandy in private, both the coach and my team doctor staying in the room when I stand to say goodbye.

So I head out and catch an Uber back home, the conversation with my coach running on a continuous loop in my head the whole way.

When I walk inside, I feel even more confused than when I walked out of the PT’s office, unsure about who to believe and what I should do. Maybe I need to get another opinion, I think to myself, as I walk into my bedroom, the laundry still sitting on my bed.

Grabbing the pile of dirty clothes, I head to the laundry to put them in to wash. Dumping them on the counter beside the machine, I start throwing clothes in, only occasionally leaving out something of Lis’ that looks like maybe it shouldn’t go in.

Just as I pick up the last of her t-shirts, something falls to the floor, clattering on the tile at my feet. Chucking the t-shirt in the machine, I throw in a detergent pod, close the lid, and start the cycle, before bending down to grab whatever it is.

Some sort of white plastic stick thing lies at my feet, but when I straighten, turning it over in my hands, it feels like every single part of me all grinds to a screeching halt as my heart stops in my chest and the blood freezes in my veins and the whole meeting with my coach this morning suddenly becomes really fucking unimportant.

Because in my hand is a pregnancy test.

A pregnancy test that says whoever took it is pregnant.

I look up. Then back down. Turning it over in my hands as though that’s going to change anything. But as I stare at that single word, my heart is no longer frozen in my chest. Instead, it’s pounding out a hard rhythm against my rib cage, smashing against it as the reality of what I’m looking at sinks in.

Elissa is pregnant.

“Fuck,” I blow out, scrubbing a hand across my jaw as I sink to the tiled floor of the laundry. I stare at the test again, at the big bold word that hasn’t changed in all the time I’ve been staring at it.

When did she do this? And why?

It must have been in Phoenix, but she never said anything to me. Does my sister know? My Mom? And why hasn’t Elissa said anything to me about it? She’s having a baby, our baby , and I know nothing about it. Is this what she wants to talk to me about tonight?

I pull my phone from the pocket of my sweats, knowing I have to call her, have to find out what this is about. I don’t care if she’s at work because this is way more important than that.

But as my phone wakes up, the picture of me and Lis filling the screen, I stop, my brain still struggling to process everything and what it all means. I know Lis is on the pill, I’ve seen her take it every morning since I’ve been back. But she’s also been sick and maybe that wasn’t a stomach flu but something else.

Something a little more permanent.

And as my gaze moves from the photo of the two of us on my phone to the pregnancy test, I know this isn’t a conversation we can have over the phone either. I have to see her, see her face when she tells me what’s going on here. But just as I realize that, a text message pops up on my phone.

Coach: Great to see you today, Nick! And don’t worry, we’ll have you back skiing in no time! Let’s chat soon.

Fuck.

He wants me back on the team. Told me to my face that he wants me out on the slopes, skiing again. Wants me back at Park City. But as my eyes once again flick back to the pregnancy test in my other hand, the word pregnant glaring out at me like a neon sign, everything that happened this morning no longer sounds as good as it could.

Because how the hell can I go back to the team if Elissa is having a baby? I can’t ask her to travel with me now, not pregnant, and definitely not with a kid. I can’t even ask her to leave Badger Creek and her mom and friends, because that is all sorts of selfish and fucked up.

And if Elissa can’t come with me, then do I even want to go back at all? I thought I did, but that was before this, before the weird meeting with my coach this morning, before all of it.

“Fucking hell,” I moan, my head falling back against the washing machine with a thud.