Page 8 of Knot Our Reality (Heated #5)

Emilia

I roll over, patting the bed before sitting up abruptly when I don’t find either of my boys.

My eyes flash over the room as my heart pounds in my chest. It takes me a moment to remember where I am and that my boys aren’t with me.

I run a hand over my face before glancing at the clock. I grimace when I realize breakfast is in just fifteen minutes, and right after that, we’re heading out for my first date with my suitors.

I hadn’t meant to sleep so late, but it’s been a long time since I’ve only had myself to worry about—no kids or job to stress over and make me lose sleep.

Immediately, guilt hits me.

My boys aren’t a burden to me, and I hate to think of them as such. Every single lost minute of sleep is worth it to have them in my life.

Work, on the other hand? That’s not always the case.

Pushing back the covers, I climb out of bed and hurry into the bathroom. I take care of business quickly, thankful I took a shower before bed last night.

I’m a little surprised to find an outfit and jewelry sitting on my dresser. I don’t know when Evangeline snuck into my room to pick it out, but I have no doubts it was her. I’m also grateful not to have to worry about picking out clothes for myself .

The outfit consists of a pair of black leggings, a simple emerald-green dress, and a long, slouchy gray cardigan. I pull it on, wondering what shoes to wear when I spot the gray ankle boots beside the dresser.

She really thought of everything, didn’t she?

I shake my head but pull on the boots and jewelry before glancing in the mirror. I run my hands through my blonde hair, amazed at how well the outfit works. I wonder if I can hire Evangeline as my stylist.

Probably not since she’s a designer, but she’s definitely got a better eye for clothes than I do.

That’s not saying much since I live in business suits or T-shirts and jeans.

I know I’m just putting off the inevitable by standing here, but I’m finding it hard to force myself from my room. The omega suite might not be as comfortable as my room in my home, but it’s pretty damn close.

After dinner last night, I’d practically run away from Bradley, Lee, Malik, and Sasha. I knew I should spend more time with them, but I was feeling overwhelmed.

So overwhelmed that I ended up in my nest for two hours before I climbed into the shower.

Did I come up with a new game plan while hiding in my nest?

Nope.

I’m someone who thrives on plans, and I hate when they go sideways. With that being said, I’m usually really good about coming up with a new plan, but meeting the four of them—or seeing them again in Lee’s case—has me unable to come up with another plan.

Meeting the day one suitors was nothing like how I thought it would be. I reacted to them in ways I never could’ve predicted, and I still don’t know how I feel about it.

What I really need to do is talk with Finn, but I don’t have time for that before breakfast. And I know better than to skip breakfast. No one wants to deal with a hangry omega—especially not this one. As much as I’d like to say I’ve grown out of it as I’ve gotten older, it would be a lie.

What can I say? I like food .

Not being able to put it off any longer, I head for the door and step out of my suite. I hesitate for a moment, listening for anyone coming down the stairs, but it’s quiet.

Stepping out, I glance up the stairs to confirm no one is coming down before making my way to the dining room. As soon as I step inside, I realize why I didn’t hear any of them on the stairs.

Lee, Malik, Bradley, and Sasha sit at one end of the table, two to each side of the chair at the head of the table—obviously saved for me.

“Good morning, Emilia,” Bradley says in that soft voice of his as the four of them stand.

“We’re glad you’re joining us for breakfast,” Malik adds. “Would you like one of us to make a plate for you?”

I bite back a scoff. As if I need anyone to get food for me. I’m sure there are a multitude of omegas who would love that, but I’ve been on my own for two years while taking care of two small children. To say I’m independent is putting it lightly.

I offer them a smile. “Good morning, gentlemen. Malik, while I appreciate the offer, I’ll get it myself. Sit and eat. I’ll join you shortly.”

“As you wish, Emilia.” Sasha’s smile lights up his face as he lowers himself into his chair, the other three following suit.

I can feel their eyes on me as I walk over to the buffet, filling my plate with eggs, fruit, and French toast. Once finished, I join them at the table—only to find that none of them are eating.

Of course not.

Their scents hit me full-blast. The hint I’d gotten last night was nothing compared to the real thing.

Malik’s citrus and lavender scent settles any nerves I’ve been feeling, making me want to melt into my chair.

Bradley’s oven-baked bread, tomato leaf, and bay leaf have me licking my lips as my stomach complains about the lack of food. Being around him is going to mean being hungry constantly, I can already tell.

Same with Lee’s key lime pie scent. It’s just as I remember it from when he visited Wilde with my brother, and I’m glad I added extra powdered sugar to my French toast because now I have a sweet tooth .

Sasha’s leather, sandalwood, and vanilla scent hits me last and the hardest. I bite back the moan threatening to spill from my lips, wanting nothing more than to rub against him until his scent covers me.

I knew he was going to be trouble.

Shaking my head, I dig into my food, grateful when they all do the same. We eat in a comfortable silence, and I hope our date will feel as comfortable as this. The last thing I want to do is spend the day feeling awkward.

“Did you have a good rest of your night?” I ask when I finish eating, pushing my plate back slightly and using my napkin to clean my face.

Lee nods. “We did. We took advantage of the indoor pool since the temperatures drop at night. We didn’t want to freeze our asses off.”

I laugh. “That makes sense.”

Part of me feels like I should apologize for abandoning them, but I learned a long time ago not to apologize for taking what I need. It’s something my pack instilled in me early on, and that I’ve carried with me even after they’re gone.

Pain lances through me, and I rub at my chest. It never helps, but it’s a habit I can’t seem to break.

“Are you okay?” Sasha asks, drawing my attention.

I nod, shooting him a half-smile. It’s all I can manage as grief threatens to overwhelm me. “I’m fine.”

“You think of your pack again.” It’s not a question, and even if it were, I wouldn’t be able to deny it. “Tell us.”

“Tell you what?” I glance between them, eyes wide.

Malik’s smile is gentle. “Tell us what made you think of them.”

“You don’t want to hear about them,” I argue, shaking my head.

“But we do,” Lee assures me.

I stare at them blankly before glancing at Bradley, who gives me a small nod of agreement.

The idea of talking to them about my lost loves doesn’t feel right. They shouldn’t want to hear about the men I loved, and I shouldn’t want to share with them, right ?

“Part of me wanted to apologize for abandoning you last night,” I finally blurted.

“But my pack taught me I should never apologize for taking what I needed—whether that was time away from them or the last doughnut. They might be gone, but it’s something I stand by.

It makes a lot of people angry, but it doesn’t stop me from doing it. ”

“Nor should it.” Sasha nods. “They were good pack—teach you well. Omegas should not feel need to apologize for their needs. No one should, but it seems most omegas are taught to apologize for every part of themselves. It is not good. I am glad they help you see this.”

Malik hums. “As long as they’re not being selfish for selfish’s sake—because we all know there are omegas out there like that. Not you, Emilia. None of us fault you for needing time for yourself. I’m sure yesterday was a lot for you.”

Once more, I find myself gaping at them. Are they for real right now?

Davis, Gerald, Maxwell, and Ryan were all amazing men, but they weren’t like most of the men I’ve encountered in my life. Just like the four men sitting in front of me aren’t. It helps restore a bit of belief in the men of this world.

“Thank you,” is all I can manage to get out as emotions rush through me.

Disbelief.

Happiness.

Despair.

Grief.

Hope.

Tears prickle at the back of my eyes, and I look up at the ceiling to keep them from falling. This pregnancy has been insane on my emotions.

Crying at the drop of a hat seems to happen almost daily, and I still have months until I give birth and my hormones even out.

“Good morning,” Bree singsongs as she steps into the dining room, Elliot in her arms and Tessa at her side. “How are we all doing?”

I blink rapidly, clearing my throat before pasting a smile on my lips. “Fantastic, and yourself? ”

Bree wrinkles her nose. “I’d be doing better if Elliot could learn to sleep through the night. You know what that’s like.”

“Oh, do I.” I laugh as Tessa snorts.

“You should try doing it with three babies at once. I love our kids, but we definitely should’ve planned this better.

” Tessa shakes her head. “Maybe not have had so many, so close together, but I’m not going to lie.

I miss the hell out of Brent and Zachary.

I’m really glad Evangeline came down with Juniper.

I’m not sure I could’ve survived with all three of them at home. ”

I nod in understanding. “Being a mother is a whole new experience. No one ever really understands it until they become one.”

Bree sniffles, nuzzling at Elliot. “Okay. Enough of that. I don’t want to start crying right now. Everything is set up for your date. Lucas has the car pulled around for whenever you’re ready. He and Mike will be joining you on today’s date.”

“Have fun,” Tessa offers. “I’ll admit, I’m a bit jealous.”