Page 3 of Knot Our Reality (Heated #5)

Emilia

“ Y ou look amazing,” Evangeline raves from her perch on the edge of my bed. “Your suitors are going to be speechless when they see you.”

I shift from foot to foot as I stare into the floor-length mirror. Evangeline isn’t blowing smoke up my ass—I look amazing, and it’s making me uncomfortable as hell.

While I’ve had to attend events over the last two years since the death of my pack, I’ve never put in this much effort into how I look. The last time I was this dolled up, it was for my pack.

It feels like I’m betraying them.

Not just because I’m meeting suitors in an attempt to form another pack, but because it looks as if I want to find another pack—which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I lean my head back to keep the tears from falling.

“Emilia?” Evangeline is at my side. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head, not wanting to answer. I don’t want to admit where my head is at. I don’t want to talk about them right now—not when I’m feeling this vulnerable.

“I know you just met me,” she says softly. “But I’m a great listener. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay, I’m sure. But it might make you feel better to talk about it. ”

“I doubt it,” I scoff, but it doesn’t keep me from lowering my head to meet her gaze. The empathy in her eyes is my undoing. “I’m betraying them.”

“Who—” Evangeline cuts off with a shake of her head as she hisses. “Your pack.”

I nod, tears pooling in my eyes. “They were my everything, and now it feels like I’m trying to replace them. I don’t want to replace them, but I don’t have a choice.”

“No, Emilia.” Evangeline pulls me into her arms, hugging me close.

She’s a few inches taller than me, but I can comfortably rest my head on her shoulder, so I do just that.

“You’re not trying to replace them. No one can ever replace them in your heart.

What you’re doing is moving on and finding others you can care for.

Do you think your pack would want you to be alone for the rest of your life? ”

I already know the answer to that, even if I hate admitting it to myself or anyone else.

“No,” I say so softly that I don’t think she hears me at first.

“You’re right. They wouldn’t want that for you or for your boys.

What happened to your pack is tragic, and it’s something no one should have to go through.

I can’t imagine losing my pack. You’re so fucking strong, Emilia.

There are so many omegas who lose their will to live after losing a mate—let alone their entire pack.

” She rubs slow, soft circles on my back as my tears spill over.

“But you’ve already made it past that point.

You didn’t just survive it—you thrived. It might not feel like it to you, but I promise you, you’re a rockstar.

“What you have to do is stop thinking of this experience as trying to replace them. Your suitors? They’re going to understand that you still love your pack—how can you not?

They were your life. Your everything. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room in your heart for a new pack.

Your pack would want you and your boys happy.

As an omega, you’re never going to be happy without a pack.

I mean, you could try to do it with just an alpha, but, personally, there’s no way I could do it without a pack. ”

I nod into her neck, hoping I’m not completely ruining my makeup .

“It’s been hard doing it on my own,” I admit.

“Of course it has. We’re not built to do this on our own. Yes, we can do it if we have to, but you don’t have to.” Evangeline sighs. “And you’re not being given a choice. Even if you wanted to do it on your own, you can’t. Which is such bullshit, but we both already know that.”

I snort, pulling back from her. “I don’t know if I can change the way I think about it overnight, but I can at least try.”

I’m not actually sure I can do that, but I have to at least try, right?

Fuck.

This is so much harder than I thought it would be.

“That’s all anyone can ask of you.” Evangeline bites her lip, trying to hold back a laugh, I think.

“I look like a deranged raccoon, don’t I?” I ask, and she nods as laughter spills from her. “Let me call Tessa and get her to send Allison back in. At least you didn’t mess up your hair.”

Ten minutes later, Allison has whipped me back into shape—using waterproof mascara this time. A mistake on her part, she admitted.

Bree is escorting me outside for my interview with Reginald while Tessa walks Evangeline back to their cabin.

“Where’s Elliot?” I ask, realizing she doesn’t have the baby anymore.

“He’s with Emmett and Onyx back at our cabin with the other littles.

As much as I’d love to keep him with me while I’m working, I can’t for this part.

I can’t be seen toting around the kids on national television.

” She rolls her eyes. “Apparently, it’s unprofessional—as per the studio.

Honestly, it’s easier because we don’t need him to start screaming while you’re meeting your suitors. ”

Yeah, that’s valid.

We come to a stop at the base of the stairs leading up to the gazebo, where Reginald is waiting. I take a moment to gather myself.

No matter how much this feels like a betrayal to my pack, this is something I have to do.

Lifting my head, I climb the stairs and smile as Reginald takes my hand and leads me over to my chair.

“Hello again, Emilia. Are you ready for this? ”

I snort, sitting down and making sure I don’t mess up my dress. “Absolutely not.”

He laughs. “That’s understandable.”

I wave him off as he sits across from me. “I’m good to go.”

“If you’re sure.” Reginald hesitates for a moment, his eyes never leaving me. When I don’t say anything, he just nods and settles back into his seat.

The smile he’s so well-known for lights up his face as he focuses on the camera over my shoulder.

“Hello, I’m Reginald Williams, and welcome to the fifth season of Heated .

Most of you weren’t expecting another season so soon, but neither were we.

This season will be different from the last four, but one thing hasn’t changed—we have an omega who is looking for their pack.

Before we get into what to expect from this season and why it’s come so early, let me introduce you to this season’s omega—Emilia Reinhardt. ”

Reginald’s focus turns from the cameras to me.

“Welcome, Emilia. Viewers, new and old, I’m so happy you’re joining us for this monumental season.

We’re so happy to have you as this season’s omega—even if we wish the circumstances were different.

Why don’t you tell us a little about yourself and why you’re on Heated ? ”

Thank goodness my job has helped me get over my fear of public speaking, or this would’ve ended up a lot worse than even Remington’s opening interview—not that he didn’t do great once he started speaking.

“Thank you, Reginald. Some of you may recognize me—either my face or my name. My brother, Remington, was the season four omega. I’m also the CEO of Reinhardt Inc.

, the company my prior pack built from the ground up.

” I pause, taking a deep breath before letting it out.

“I wasn’t born with the name Reinhardt. I was born a Montgomery like Remington, but I met my pack in college. ”

“So this isn’t your first time with a pack?”

“Yes, that’s right. I already had a pack, and I loved them more than words can say.

They were my everything until they were ripped from my sons and my lives a little over two years ago.

They were in Europe on a business trip, but something went wrong on the flight home.

The plane went down in the mountains, killing all but one of my pack mates instantly.

Davis, one of my alphas, managed to hold on long enough for search and rescue to find them.

He was badly injured, but somehow he held on until I could make it to the hospital with my boys in tow. ”

I don’t know how I thought I’d be able to get through this without crying, but thank goodness for Allison and the waterproof mascara.

Swiping at the tears on my face, I sniffle as I try to rein in my tears, but it’s a losing battle.

“He told us how much he loved us, and that he was sorry it had to be like this. He promised that he and the others would be watching over us from wherever we go when we die. That they’d always love us.

He told me to find happiness again, no matter how hard it would be for me to get over their deaths, and he reminded me I had two boys who were depending on me. ”

Reginald pushes a tissue into my hand, and I give him a grateful smile as I lift it to my face. It allows me a moment to settle myself the best I can.

“That was the last thing he ever said to me as they rushed him off to surgery, where he coded on the table.” I shake my head.

“And just like that, I was a single mother—an omega without a pack. But what I did have were two young boys who just lost their dads and a family who were willing to help me find my feet after I grieved everything I lost. I don’t know what I would’ve done without my parents and brother.

I know I couldn’t have done it on my own. ”

Reginald hums. “That’s what family is meant to do. I’m glad you had someone to lean on.”

I nod slowly. “I won’t lie. Those first few months, I was a mess.

I couldn’t take care of myself, let alone my boys.

Hawk is my oldest, and he was four when they passed.

My youngest, Jasper, was only a year old.

He doesn’t remember his dads, but Hawk tells him the stories he remembers all the time.

The one thing I hate most about losing them is it forced Hawk to grow up too quickly.

He’s always worried about me and his brother.

I wish he could’ve had more time to just be a kid.