Page 4 of Knot Our Reality (Heated #5)

“Maybe if I’d handled things better back then, he could have.

I try not to focus on that because there’s nothing I can do to change it.

I’m not even sure I could’ve handled it differently.

I felt when each of them died—our bond ripped from me.

No one can imagine what it feels like to have a bond ripped from your soul.

The pain is…unbearable. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Almost worse than the pain is the overwhelming exhaustion that weighs you down.

Between that and the grief of losing my mates?

I wasn’t in a good place. My boys are the only thing that saved me.

“I’ve heard people bash omegas who just give up and follow their mates into death, but it’s because they can’t imagine what it feels like.

Especially if you’ve lived with those bonds for as long as I did.

I bonded with my pack the night of my graduation.

They refused to bond with me before then, saying that my education was more important.

As we know, not all alphas are that kind.

Not that my pack was all alphas. No, I was lucky enough to find three alphas and a beta who loved one another just as much as they loved me.

But that meant I’d lived with a piece of them inside of me for fourteen years before they died.

“It was like I lost a piece of myself. No, four parts of my soul were missing, and I didn’t know how to exist without them.

It was knowing that my boys—the last piece of my pack I had left—needed me that allowed me to piece my broken parts back together.

It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Because I knew it’s what my pack would’ve wanted and because I love those little boys with all of my heart.

I couldn’t leave them parentless. I was still alive, and I needed to be there for them. ”

I take another deep breath, tapping the tissue against my eyes to catch the last of my tears.

“So I did, and shortly after, I found out they left me Reinhardt Inc. in its entirety. I worked there with them because I liked being a part of their business. But I didn’t know a damn thing about running a business on that level.

The board of directors never doubted me, though.

They made sure I had the help I needed, and I’ve managed to not only keep the company afloat but to help it grow.

“Once I had a handle on everything, I added a new subsidiary to the company—Reinhardt Press. It’s what I always wanted to do, and before my pack died, we were already looking into it.

Pack It Up has become one of the biggest magazines in the world, and I know my pack would be proud of what I accomplished, of how I made my dreams come true.

” I laugh. “Not that I could’ve done it on my own.

I have the best teams in place. The company practically runs itself at this point. ”

“Yes, my household is a big fan of Pack It Up ,” Reginald says with a smile before turning his attention to one of the cameras.

“As we said, season five is a big change from the first four seasons. Not only do we have an omega who already knows what being part of a pack is really like, but is also a single mother. Something you might not have noticed is that Emilia is also pregnant, which is the real reason she’s on Heated .

Emilia, why don’t you tell us about the situation that led you to become this season’s omega? ”

While talking about my pack is hard, talking about this is even harder. If I could, I would never talk about it again, but that’s not really an option.

I clear my throat, keeping my eyes on my hands instead of the camera or Reginald.

“I’m sure it seems odd that a single omega is pregnant when her pack died over two years ago.

Sadly, getting pregnant wasn’t on my bingo card.

Almost exactly two years after losing my pack, one of the worst things that can happen to a woman happened to me.

I’ve been on heat suppressants since the death of my pack, but because long-term use can be bad for my body, I always use a low dosage.

It means that while I won’t have a full-blown heat, I still have to deal with heat spikes.

“It’s not a problem usually. I take off a week every quarter so I can be at home.

Unfortunately, in May of this year, there was an emergency that required me to come into the office.

Or so I was led to believe. I waited until the workday was over before heading in.

I have a nanny that’s been with us since Hawk was born, and she always stays with us during the week of my heat.

She tried to convince me not to go in, but I wouldn’t listen.

That’s one thing everyone will learn about me. I’m a little stubborn.”

Finally, I lift my head and speak directly to the camera now.

“I did nothing wrong. I did everything an omega is supposed to do. I took a shower, using the descenting products I always keep on hand. I took an extra suppressant an hour before I left the house. I wore one of my alpha’s shirts over my clothes.

His scent is gone now, but I found an amazing business that makes scents.

The owner, Lola Gallagher, is an older omega who has a nose for scents.

I went to her a year after my pack died with some of their clothes I’d packed into vacuum-sealed bags, knowing I would need their scents at some point.

She was able to make a spray that mimicked their combined scent.

Some days, it’s the only thing that gets me through the day.

“So, as I usually do, I sprayed myself with their scents and set out. The only person who should’ve been in the building was security.

I know every single security guard who works in our building because they help keep me safe.

They assured me the building was empty and that all they could smell on me were my pack’s scents.

I went upstairs to my office, going through the papers my COO said needed my personal touch, only to find out they weren’t anything that I needed to come in for.

“I was pissed because I didn’t want to be outside of my nest. Simon worked with my pack for years and upon their death, I promoted him to COO.

I trusted him with my pack’s company. I was writing out a quick note to him, intending to leave it with the files in his office before heading home.

The note wasn’t exactly nice, but even on suppressants, no one wants to mess with an omega in heat.

He should’ve known better. He should’ve been better.

“Before I finished the note, Simon appeared in my doorway. He scared me because I’d been assured there was no one else in the building.

He ignored me when I asked him why he’d called me in when it was something he could handle.

I didn’t realize anything was amiss until he stalked further into my office.

I could barely smell him over the scent of booze pouring off him.

” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat.

“He assaulted me that night, all the while, telling me he knew I wanted him. That I’ve been flirting with him.

That I’ve been tempting him with my scent.

That only a whore omega would show up at their place of work while in heat.

That he couldn’t control himself, and that what was happening was my fault.

“It wasn’t my fault. I never once flirted with this man.

I wasn’t interested in anyone, let alone him.

Everything he said to me…I don’t kn ow if he was just flat-out lying or if he was that delusional that he really believed his words.

What I do know is that once he was done with me, he staggered out of my office and left me on the floor.

I don’t know how long I laid there, crying and wondering how this could’ve happened to me.

Eventually, I dragged myself off the floor and alerted security before calling the police.

There was no way I was going to let him get away with what he did to me—to give him the chance to do it to someone else. ”

Reginald reaches over and squeezes my hand. At least I’m not crying anymore. What Simon did to me doesn’t make me sad—it makes me angry. “But that’s not the end of the story, is it?”

I shake my head. “Of course it’s not. Simon was found guilty, but do you know what the judge sentenced him to?

Two months in an alpha rehabilitation center followed by six months in jail.

For assaulting me, he’s only losing eight months of his life.

And his job, because clearly he won’t be working for Reinhardt Inc.

anymore. I wasn’t happy with the sentence, but what could I really do about it?

I decided to move on with my life—except I couldn’t.

“In August, I found out I was pregnant. I was already a single mom and now I was pregnant by a man who assaulted me. I started to spiral. I didn’t know if I could raise a child born from one of the worst nights of my life.

I considered terminating the pregnancy—as is my right, or so I thought—but decided it wasn’t the baby’s fault that his father was an asshole.

Plus, I was already falling in love with him.

He was mine to protect, just like Hawk and Jasper.

I didn’t feel the need to inform Simon of the pregnancy because there was no way I was going to let him into my baby’s life.

“Which is why I was so surprised to receive a court order informing me I legally could not end the pregnancy. Even worse? He was suing me for custody of my unborn child.” I scoff.

“The man is in jail and suing me for custody of my child. Obviously, the first thing I did was to speak with a lawyer. I didn’t like what he told me, so I called Remington.

He called Tessa and Bree, and the Heated family rallied around me.

Unfortunately, the first lawyer I spoke to had been correct .

“The way our laws are written, a single omega mother cannot be considered a fit parent. The only way an omega can be considered fit to parent is if they have a pack. Because we go through heats, we can’t be trusted to make sure that our children are cared for.

You can bet that drew a lot of attention from a lot of people who are actively working on getting that particular law overturned.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen overnight, so it won’t help me.

“Simon will be released from prison around the same time I give birth to my baby, and we’ll go to court.

It’ll be up to a judge to decide what will happen to not only my baby but my boys as well.

They’ll use my assault against me, using it as proof that I’m unable to care for myself and my children.

I could lose all of them. And do you know what the only answer is to that?

” I sigh. “The answer is to find a pack of my own. With a pack, I might not lose custody of my children. There’s still no way to say for sure that I’ll win the lawsuit, but I stand no chance without a pack. ”

When my eyes find Reginald’s once more, his smile is gone.

“And that brings us to this season of Heated . While we can’t do much about the laws currently in place, we can help Emilia find a pack just like we have for four other omegas.

The showrunners and myself believe it’s a travesty that it’s come to this, but Emilia is one of ours—even before she became the season five omega—and we take care of our family.

The season starts with a dark cloud over its head, but that doesn’t mean it won’t have a happy ending.

“Originally, we found twenty suitors from previous seasons who agreed to join us for season five, but one of the packs found their happily ever after before arriving on the show. Some of you may remember Pack Astor from season one with Bree. Two weeks ago, they found an omega pair who have decided they want to be a part of Pack Astor for the rest of their lives. We’re so happy for them, but it means that Emilia will start season five with just sixteen suitors, as we could not find replacements before the season began.

“With that being said, your first suitor or suitors are on their way now. Why don’t we head down to greet them?

” At my nod, Reginald smiles at the camera.

“Viewers, while this season might be different, I hope you’ll continue to watch to see how Emilia’s story plays out.

Tune back in after this commercial break to meet Emilia’s first four suitors alongside her. ”

“We’re clear,” Tessa calls out.

I let out the breath I’d been holding, practically folding in on myself. It was harder to talk about all of this than I thought it would be, which is saying a lot since I knew it would be hell.

A small hand runs down my back, and I smile when I recognize Bree’s muted scent. “If you need us to, we can have the first suitor wait—”

“No.” I sit up quickly, shaking my head. “I need to do this now.”

Tessa joins Bree, considering me, before nodding. “If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

Reginald wraps an arm over my shoulders and leads me down the stairs. “You’ve got this.”

He has more faith in me than I do.