Page 18 of Knot Our Reality (Heated #5)

Emilia

“ I look fat.”

Evangeline laughs, the sound making me smile as I turn away from the mirror to face her. “First of all, you’re pregnant—not fat. Second, you do not. You look amazing.”

I want to believe her—I really do—but I just don’t feel attractive right now.

After an amazing day with the day two suitors, I came home and took a shower before falling asleep. When Evangeline, Allison, and Mindy came to help me get ready, it felt like every part of my body was swollen. I’d even swear that my belly got bigger.

I know it didn’t really, but damn, it just feels like it did.

My back hurts, and I’m exhausted. Meeting my next set of suitors is the last thing I want to do.

“Fine,” I finally say, sliding my feet into the shiny silver flats Evangeline set out for me.

“I know that look.” Evangeline pushes to her feet, juggling a sleeping Juniper as she joins me. “Being pregnant is exhausting. But you can’t let it get you down. You want to find a pack, don’t you?”

I shrug. I may feel better about finding a new pack, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for me to accept. Especially not now when I feel like shit.

Evangeline shakes her head, still smiling.

“You can deny it all you want, but I know part of you is excited to find a new pack. It’s just taking the rest of you some time to catch up.

There’s nothing wrong with that. But you are here to find a pack, whether you want to or not.

You have to push through your exhaustion and find your excitement.

You don’t feel good about yourself because you’re tired and hurting.

That doesn’t change how gorgeous you are.

“The teal color of your dress makes your eyes pop and gives your skin a natural glow—not that you need it. The pregnancy is really working in your favor with that. Your suitors are going to take one look at you and be ready to drop to their knees and vow themselves to you for the rest of their lives.” She holds up her hand when I try to interrupt her.

“Nope. You don’t get an opinion on this.

Your mood is going to make you see the negatives, and I’m here to tell you how it really is. You’re going to knock their socks off.”

I chance another glance in the mirror, trying to see myself as she does, but I just can’t. “I’ll have to take your word on it, I guess.”

“That’s the spirit! Now, come on. Tessa will be here shortly to send me back to our cabin and take you to do your interview with Reginald.” She leads me toward the sitting room as a knock sounds out. “See? What did I tell you?”

Her enthusiasm is contagious, adding a little pep to my step that I wasn’t feeling a moment ago.

Even if I feel fat, I know I look better than usual.

Even when I’m not pregnant, if I’m not working, I prefer to wear comfortable clothes around the house.

And I damn well am not putting on makeup to hang out at home.

That’s probably the one downfall to being on the show.

We’re always expected to look our best because we’re going to be displayed on screens around the country—hell, the world.

The suitors won’t get a chance to see me at my worst.

“Hi, alpha!” Evangeline throws the door open, leaning in to kiss Tessa before stepping past her. “Don’t worry, I’m on my way to the cabin now. Emilia just needed a friend. You’ve got this, Emilia!”

Then she’s gone, and my head spins.

“Sorry,” Tessa apologizes as she laughs. “She’s a whirlwind, that one. ”

I nod, returning her smile. “She is, but I like that about her. Never apologize for her. She is who she is, and if she’s too much for someone, that’s on them.”

“You’re right. I just know you weren’t expecting to have to deal with her while you’re here.”

“I’m glad she’s here. You might want to consider having her come on for each season,” I tell her as I step out of my suite. “She’s amazing at what she does, and she’s dressed me in clothes I wouldn’t think to wear. She’s good for an omega’s ego.”

Tessa nods, opening the front door and nodding for me to go first. “She’s good for everyone’s ego when she’s dressing them.

It’s because she cares. Usually, we don’t allow the omegas so much outside influence while on the show.

Your situation is unique, and we needed to adapt to your needs. We’ll have to see about future omegas.”

She leaves me with Reginald so I can recap my date with the day two suitors and my first thoughts on them. I know it’s for the viewers, but they’re probably my least favorite part of the show. At least I only have two more of them since I’ve already met half of my suitors.

Twenty minutes later, I’m standing at the edge of the driveway as Bree comes running down the walkway. “I’m sorry. The suitors had a lot to say. I had to cut them off to get here on time.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not…”

She laughs. “It means they’re excited about you, Emilia. And, no, I won’t tell you what they said. Especially since your first suitor is about to arrive.”

I stick my tongue out at her, but turn to face the driveway as I hear the limo approaching and perk up. I might feel like crap, but I’m still excited about meeting my suitors.

I’m not sure I was ever excited about the process when I thought it would be just a business transaction of sorts. It truly was dumb of me to think I’d be able to keep it all business.

Just because I’ve loved before doesn’t mean I’m immune to falling in love again.

Being an omega is a weird thing at the best of times, but we’re never built to be lonely.

Burying myself in work and my boys would never have lasted long-term.

I should be lucky I made it over two years without feeling the need to find an alpha or a pack.

It’s freeing to finally admit to myself that I want this—that I don’t want to do this on my own anymore. Do I think it’s just going to be that easy to change how I think about it?

Absolutely not, but it feels like a good first step.

I smile as the limo comes to a stop and the door opens. It takes a moment for my suitor to exit, and I’m excited to see who it might be. Will I recognize them? Will they be new?

Tessa and Bree did say there was a chance of there being some new suitors, but so far, it’s just been past suitors. I guess only time will tell.

The man who steps out looks vaguely familiar to me, so I’m guessing he’s a returning suitor. He’s tall—probably around six feet—slender, and hot as hell. His brown hair is nearly as long as mine, as it falls over his shoulders. I’ve always had a thing for men with long hair.

He’s unshaven, with just enough facial hair to be sexy as hell. His face is almost severe and scowling, but the moment his eyes land on me, it transforms. His smile is wide and makes him even more attractive.

As he saunters toward me, I can see his lean muscles flexing beneath his fitted tux. Everything about him is sexy—even his scent when hints of it waft toward me. Chocolate and cherries.

Yummmm.

And definitely an alpha, though he isn’t as built as many of them are.

“Hello, Emilia.” He offers me his hand, giving a firm shake when I take it in mine. “I’m Evander Nelson. I was on season three as one of Evangeline’s suitors.”

I grin, still not recognizing him by his name, but I know I’ve seen him before. “It’s nice to meet you. You were a lucky guy, getting to be on Evangeline’s season. I adore her. I’m not into women, but I think I’d marry her if she asked me.”

I ignore the barely disguised growl and laughter from behind me, my grin only growing .

“She’s an amazing woman,” Evander agrees. “And I know she picked the perfect pack for herself—even if it didn’t include me. But that has left me with the opportunity to meet you.”

“Oh, a smooth talker, I see.”

He shrugs. “I don’t know about that, but I’m excited to get to know you and see how this season will play out.”

“Me too.” I grimace. “Please don’t be offended. I’ve seen some episodes of the last four seasons, but not many. Will you tell me about yourself?”

He chuckles. “No worries. I would never expect you to have binge-watched the seasons, especially not with everything you’re dealing with.

I’m an alpha. I’m twenty-six, but my birthday is in a few months.

I work as a sign language interpreter. My younger brother was born deaf, so I learned it when I was young.

As we grew up, more often than not, I was his interpreter.

I knew how frustrating it was for him when he didn’t have one, so when it came time to go to college, I knew it’s what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. ”

I blink at him, trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s twelve years younger than me. I don’t know why he would want to be with someone so much older than him. Because I focused on that, it takes me another moment to realize what else he said. “What an amazing story.”

His eyes narrow, his smile never faltering. “What’s that look for?”

“What look?” When he tilts his head and raises his eyebrows, I know I’m not fooling him. “It’s just hard for me to imagine someone your age wanting to take on an omega my age. Plus, my three kids. You’ve barely lived. Why would you want to tie yourself down like that?”

“I don’t see it as tying myself down. I see it as finding what I’m looking for.

What I’m about to say may sound bad, but I promise, I don’t intend for it to be.

” He pauses, obviously considering his words.

“Because of my brother, I had to grow up faster than most kids my age. I don’t blame him for it, and I wouldn’t change a damn thing.

But it means I’ve never really done well with people my own age.

They lack the maturity I need in my relationships.

I guess you could call me an old soul. I want nothing more than to be part of a pack and start a family. ”

He was on Evangeline’s season, and she’s around my age, so I guess that makes sense.