Page 45 of Knot Our Reality (Heated #5)

Emilia

I have a mate again—a bond—and I can’t figure out how I feel about it.

Hawk stands in front of Wilder with his arms crossed. “If you’re his alpha, then why didn’t you bite her? Do you not love her?”

“Uhhhh…” Wilder glances at me, clearly unsure how to handle this.

“Hawk, honey,” I say softly, waiting until my son is looking at me before continuing. “That’s not an appropriate question to ask.”

“I just want to know.”

I shake my head, knowing he will not give up on this. Stubborn like his father, this one. “I asked Wilder to wait to bite me.”

“But why? I thought you chose both of them?” His little frown is adorable, but I know he wouldn’t appreciate that thought.

“You know I loved your dads a lot, right?”

He rolls his eyes. “Duh.”

Fates above. When did he get so fucking sassy?

“You know how sad I was when they died?”

His face grows serious. “You couldn’t get out of bed. Grandma had to take care of us.”

“That’s right.” I nod, hating that I’m having to have this conversation with my seven-year-old. “It’s because I felt it when they died. When alphas and omegas mark each other or betas, there’s a bond that forms between us.”

“A mate bond. I know all this.”

How can I go from thinking he’s adorable to wanting to shake him in a matter of seconds? Not that I would ever shake my child or lay a hand on him in anger, but there’s not a single parent in the world who hasn’t wanted to shake their child. I don’t care how many of them deny it. They’re all liars.

“Watch your tone, son.” I lift my eyebrows, and his shoulders droop.

“Sorry, Mom. I just want to understand.”

I nod. “I get that, but give me a few minutes to figure out how to explain it. It’s like they hold a piece of your soul and you hold a piece of theirs. When that person dies, they take their soul with them. Something that’s been part of you is just gone.”

Hawk wrinkles his nose, staring at the ground. “That sounds terrible. Is that why you were so sad? Because you lost their soul pieces?”

“Yes, baby. That’s exactly it,” I tell him, fighting back tears and laughter. “It hurt me a lot to lose those pieces, so I’m not ready to jump right back into it. Camden is mine, and so is Wilder. I’m just not ready for Wilder and I to share our souls yet.”

He nods slowly, glancing back at Wilder. “You gave her what she asked for.”

“I did, buddy.” He nods, glancing at me, and I swear I see a sheen of tears there before he looks away. “I’d do anything for Camden and your mom.”

“Okay.” Hawk glances at where the other kids are playing. “I’m going to play now.”

Then he’s gone, leaving us to watch him run away.

“Why do I feel like something very important just happened?” Camden asks.

Remington chuckles, slapping his hand on my omega’s shoulder. “Because it just did. Hawk just accepted Wilder as his alpha, possibly handing over some of the worry he’s been carrying now that he knows there’s someone else there to take care of her.”

This time, there’s no fighting my tears. I bury my face in Camden’s chest, not wanting the boys to see me crying.

Being a parent is so hard sometimes.

On Monday, Dalton, Maverick, and Paxton join me and the boys on a date to the bowling alley.

“Are you sure it’s safe for you to bowl?” Maverick asks for the thirteenth time, and I roll my eyes at the boys.

They both burst into laughter but try to hide it behind their hands. They fail miserably.

“Yes, Maverick,” I tell him again. “I’ve already answered this, and it’s the last time I’m saying this. I spoke with my doctor. He recommends I use an eight or nine-pound ball. If, when I’m bowling, anything feels off, I’ll switch to using a bowling ramp.”

I sigh. “Omegas are built to be hardy when pregnant. Half of our purpose is to breed the next generation. Stop worrying so much. I wouldn’t do anything that would endanger my unborn child.”

He at least has the decency to look chagrined as he nods. “Got it. Sorry. I won’t ask again.”

“At least not about bowling,” Dalton adds with a chuckle. “He’ll definitely ask about anything else he thinks might be dangerous.”

Maverick makes a face but doesn’t deny it.

I shake my head and finish pulling on my shoes. When I stand up to help the boys find their balls, I realize the boys are with my suitors as they look at the balls.

“I’m too small,” Jasper argues with whatever was said before I approached. “They’re all too heavy.”

Paxton nods. “I understand, man. Sometimes things are too heavy for me, too.”

Dalton shakes his head. “This one is the smallest—just six pounds. What do you say we give it a try, and if it’s too heavy, then you can use the ramp?”

“That’s for babies. I’m not a baby. ”

I’m ready to step in, knowing how quickly this can turn into a tantrum. There’s nothing Jasper hates more than feeling like he’s being babied.

“Okay, no ramp then.” Maverick nods, picking up a ball. “You can always granny bowl. That’s what I do when I get tired.”

Jasper giggles. “No, you don’t. You’re lying.”

“Oh, he’s definitely not,” Dalton assures him. “I’ve seen it. Trust me.”

Jasper glances between them before turning to his brother with a frown.

“It’s okay, Jas. If your arms get tired, we’ll both granny bowl.”

“Really?” Jasper’s face lights up. He really idolizes Hawk, and I’m glad my oldest son realizes it.

Maverick nods. “That sounds like a plan. If Jasper granny bowls, then so do the rest of us.”

“You can count me out of that pact,” I announce with a snort. “I can’t bend like that. I’ll use the ramp.”

“That’s okay, Mom. You’re growing a baby. It makes sense you use the baby ramp.” Jasper beams up at me as he takes the ball from Dalton and rushes over to put it on the ball return.

I hold my hand to my chest. “Ouch. Why do I feel like my child just insulted me?”

Dalton pats my arm as he walks past me. “That’s because he did.”

“Rude.” But I grin as I grab a ball and follow them.

It’s a good thing I love my kids.

After finishing at the bowling alley last night, we headed to the mall for some shopping. Dalton and Maverick took the boys to pick out some gifts for me, while Paxton accompanied me on my shopping spree .

I’m really glad we’re doing a little each day because I’m not sure I could do all this shopping on one trip. Not only do I have to buy the last of the boys’ gifts, but I’m also getting something for each of my suitors.

Bree, Tessa, and I decided it wouldn’t be fair for me to be part of the Secret Santa, so I decided to get each of them their own gifts. Plus, I have to get gifts for my new omega besties, my parents, and my brother and his pack.

Because there was no way Remington and I could convince our parents to skip Christmas with the kids this year. They were having none of it.

Now, it’s day two of dates with the boys. Wilder joins Evander and Ian on our trip to the arcade. He and Camden decided they would just go on one date each this week, since today and tomorrow, I’m only bringing two suitors with me.

Ian shakes his head at the boys as they practically vibrate when we step into the arcade. They’re both holding one of my hands, and I can feel their excitement through my limbs.

Wilder kneels in front of the two of them, pulling out two of the prepaid cards they had for us at the front desk.

“I’m going to give each of you one of these, but not until you hear the rules and agree to them.”

Both boys nod, and since their attention is on Wilder, I don’t bother to hide my smile.

“First, the arcade is closed to everyone but the six of us. There are a few employees here in case we need help, but that’s it.

The doors are locked, so just know you can’t escape us.

” He grins. “There will be no arguing over games. There will be no gloating if you win. No being a bad loser. We’re here to have fun and to get to know each other better. Do you agree to my terms?”

“Yes, alpha.” Jasper nods his head solemnly, while Hawk rolls his eyes.

“You don’t have to call him alpha, Jasper.”

My youngest shrugs. “It’s a sign of…sign of…”

“Respect?” Ian offers.

Jasper nods, pointing at Ian. “That.”

“That’s kind of you, Jasper, but unnecessary. You can call me Wilder.”

He shrugs again. “Okay, Wilder. I agree.”

“I do too, Wilder.”

He hands them the cards, ruffling their hair as he stands. “Then go have fun.”

“Thank you,” I tell him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him to me for a kiss. “They like you.”

“Thank goodness for that.”

Evander sighs. “Ian, do you hear this? We have time to make up for. We need to get them to like us, too. I’ll start with Jasper and you start with Hawk?”

“I’m down.”

I shake my head as the two of them run off after the boys, sniggering. “This is weird, isn’t it?”

Wilder shrugs. “Maybe, but the two of them aren’t wrong. They need the kids to like them, but I trust them. They’re doing it for the right reasons. Not just because they want you, but because they genuinely care what your sons think of them.”

“That doesn’t make it any less weird. Come on, alpha. Let’s go play some games.”

Who knew arcades were just as much fun for adults as they are for kids? I’m definitely going to have to make sure to take the boys more frequently when we head home.

On Wednesday, Camden joins me and the twins in taking the boys to a water park. They’ve always loved them, but we had to skip them this summer since I was pregnant.

It’s not that I can’t go to the water park, but I can’t take the boys on any of the rides or slides, and that’s why they love going .

“What do we do first?” Alexei asks the boys, laying the map out on the table in front of us.

“Why do you talk weird?” Jasper asks, ignoring the map, to look between the twins. “Both of you.”

“Jasper,” I hiss. “Not appropriate.”

We’re still working on what he can and can’t ask people he’s just met. He’s always been a curious kid, and it only gets worse as he gets older.

“Why not?” he asks, hands on his hips. “I met them before.”

Alexei grins. “He is right. He met us almost a year ago.”

“That doesn’t matter—”

“But it does.” Nikolai lowers himself to the ground so he can be on the same level as Hawk and Jasper. “We were born in another country—Russia. We come here as adults. English not our first language.”

Jasper’s eyes widen. “You were born in Russia? I know where that is! On a map anyway.”

“That is good,” Alexei says. “Now, we choose where we go?”

Both boys look at the map, choosing two different slides they want to ride. It happens every time.

“Okay, boys. You know how this works. We’ll do one first and then the other.”

“ Nyet .” Nikolai shakes his head. “There are four adults. I will take one omega and one boy. Alexei take other omega and other boy.”

The boys nod enthusiastically. I should say no, but what the hell?

“Sure, let’s do it. Who am I going with?”

“Nikolai,” Alexei says. “Camden, come with me.”

Camden grins. “Oh, am I now?”

I snicker, which turns into full-out laughter as the twins narrow their eyes at us. I’m fairly certain the joke went right over their heads.

“I’ll explain it on the way,” Camden assures Alexei, slipping his arm through the beta’s. He pats the muscles there and his smile just grows. “Now, which of you are coming with me?”

“I’ll go with Mom,” Hawk says quickly, keeping his eyes on Nikolai. “Jasper, you go with Camden. ”

“Okay.” Jasper skips over and slips his hand into Camden’s. “Let’s do this.”

I shake my head, running my hand through my eldest’s hair. “You don’t always have to look out for me, baby.”

“I don’t know this alpha. I need to,” is all he says before stepping up to Nikolai. “Tell me about Russia.”

Which is how I end up trailing one of my potential alphas and my son around the water park. I do eventually ditch them to ride around the lazy river. It doesn’t take long for Camden to join me.

Is it weird for me to leave my boys with the twins? Maybe for some people, but they’re no strangers to my kids. Plus, they’d never hurt a child.

I’m working on trusting them with my heart, but I trust them with something even more precious—my kids.

I can’t believe it’s already Christmas Eve.

Since the mall is only open for a few hours because of the holiday, we hit it up first. There are way more people here than I thought there would be, but luckily, having cameras with us has people giving us a wide berth.

It still takes us four hours to finish up our shopping, and by then, the kids are exhausted.

“Crap.” I sigh, running my hand through my hair. “I should’ve planned this better. Boys, do you just want to head home? We can try to do the winter carnival next week.”

“No.” Jasper’s little face wrinkles up, and he’s about two seconds from blowing up. “Santa won’t know where to find us. We’re not at home. We won’t have any presents.”

Dylan gasps. “Wait. Santa won’t know where I am? We have to at least go see Santa, then. I don’t want to miss out on any presents. ”

Hawk laughs. “Santa doesn’t bring grown-ups presents.”

“No?” Dylan’s face falls. “That makes me sad.”

“I think you are quite mistaken,” Sasha tells my youngest, booping him on the nose. “Santa brings presents to all. Just because you not see presents does not mean they do not exist.”

Jasper considers that before turning back to me, and I could kiss both of them right now. His curiosity has taken over his need to throw a tantrum. “Is that true? Does Santa bring you presents?”

I nod. “He does.”

“Huh.” Jasper looks at Dylan, Sasha, and Lee. “All of you?”

The three of them nod.

“Then we just go see Santa,” Hawk declares. “We don’t want anyone missing out on presents from him.”

“Okay. That sounds like a plan. We’ll make it as fast as we can, but if you need to take a nap, Jasper, you let me know.”

I can already tell by the set of his face, he won’t be doing any such thing.

“It’s okay,” Lee assures us. “If anyone gets tired, we won’t have to leave. There are three strong alphas here. We can hold anyone who needs a break.”

“And what if I’m the one who needs a break?” I ask, delighted in the way they’re working together to make this happen for my kids.

“That why we have big one.” Sasha nods at Dylan, and I almost die from laughing.

As soon as the car starts up, both boys are out. “We can go back to the compound. I’d rather they got to sleep.”

“Absolutely not.” Dylan shakes his head. “Lee wasn’t joking. We’ll carry the boys straight to the front of the line if we have to. We’re going to make sure those boys don’t have to worry about Santa not getting gifts for them.”

Is it possible to fall for men simply for how they treat your kids? Because I feel like that’s exactly what’s happening right now.

I’m so screwed.

Is thirteen people too many for a pack? I’m asking for a friend.