Page 26 of Knot Our Reality (Heated #5)

I wave him off. “It’s okay. That’s why I said I’ve been talking to each of the suitors about it. I just need to be sure. This isn’t how I expected my life to go.”

“Of course not.” Alexei pulls me into another hug. “Nikolai is right. We support you and your boys no matter what. We would not be here if we were not willing to do what needs to be done.”

“Thank you. Both of you. I didn’t doubt that you would, but I feel like it’s important to bring it up.” I make a face. “Maybe it’s not as important as I’m making it out to be. It’s not like Bree and Tessa didn’t make sure everyone knew what they were getting into.”

“It is okay,” Nikolai assures me. “You need to be sure, so you check.”

As much as I’m enjoying Alexei’s hug, I can see Reginald signaling to me from the corner of my eye. I pull back and offer them another smile. “I’m really glad the two of you are here. It’s almost time for my next suitor to arrive, so we’ll have to catch up later.”

“Of course. We will be waiting.” Alexei kisses my cheek, and Nikolai quickly does the same. My eyes follow them as they move toward Bree and Tessa.

Damn. It seems like yesterday has turned me into the horny omega I never expected to be again.

Shaking my head, I turn back around to find Reginald staring at me with a smirk. He sweeps his hand under his mouth as he winks, and I flip him off again.

Asshole.

The twins are hot as sin—there’s no denying that—but I’m not drooling over them. At least not physically.

Slicking for them? Well, yeah .

I let out a little growl, shaking my head. Letting my thoughts drift to that isn’t going to do any of us any good.

Luckily, the next suitor arrives shortly after and steps out of the limo. He’s tall and slender, but seems to be in good shape. His tan skin has warm undertones and a smile lights up his face. His black hair and beard sit neatly, and it’s clear this man cares about his appearance.

As he approaches, his dark brown eyes crinkle at the edges. A hint of pumpkin and spice reaches my nose, and it’s pleasantly calming.

He’s a beta.

“Hi, Emilia. My name is Gavin Mallory.” He offers me his hand, and when I take it, I can’t help marveling over how smooth his skin is.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Gavin,” I tell him, still holding his hand, which only causes his smile to grow. “Oh, sorry.”

I drop his hand like it’s hot and shake my head.

He just keeps smiling at me. “No need to apologize.”

I can feel myself flushing. I need to change the topic immediately. “So, which season of Heated were you on previously?”

“Season three with Evangeline. I’m a twenty-nine-year-old beta chiropractor.

I’m half Filipino and half Polynesian with an older sister, who’s also a beta—same for my parents.

I have more siblings than that since my parents have been foster parents for years.

There have been a few who have been adopted, while others just needed a temporary home.

” He pauses. “Anything else important I should tell you?”

I giggle and immediately wish I could facepalm.

What is wrong with me?

But I already know the answer to that. I’m a pregnant horny omega who can’t seem to stop slicking over hot men.

It’s fiiiinnnne.

Everything is fine.

“I think you about covered the basics. I’m having issues today with peopling apparently,” I warn him. “Beware, I have no idea what I might say or do. It’s been a weird day.”

“I promise not to hold anything against you. ”

I clear my throat. “You said your parents have been fostering children? My parents do the same. They just have so much love to give, and they weren’t able to have as many kids as they would’ve liked.”

“Same with mine. I don’t think I’ve met anyone else who’s had a family like mine. Are they still actively fostering? Mine have slowed down since they’re getting older, but they’ll never turn down a child in need.”

I nod. “They do. Right now, they have a set of siblings staying with them. One of them is almost old enough to age out, and I know she’s been worried about not being able to see her little sister, but they’ve been assured that she’ll have a place in their home for as long as she wants—no matter her age.

Which I assured her is true since I stayed with them for a while after losing my pack. ”

The smile falls off his face as he nods. “I can’t imagine it was an easy time for you, especially with two young boys. It’s good you had them.”

“I don’t know where I’d be without my parents. They’ve always been super supportive.”

We talk for a little while about growing up in a family like ours before I ask him about why he’s willing to take on me and my growing family.

He just shakes his head. “Who wouldn’t be?”

And I don’t know how to answer him. He says it so simply that it’s hard to argue with him.

There are a ton of people in the world who wouldn’t be willing to take on a pregnant omega fighting in court for the right to keep her unborn child—to keep him from being raised by his mother’s rapist. Who wouldn’t be willing to raise another man’s child if said man isn’t part of their pack.

While many people are good, there are just as many who aren’t.

“Thank you,” I finally say.

“No thanks are necessary,” is his response before it’s time to wrap up our initial meeting. With a brush of his lips against my knuckles, he joins the twins.

Then, it’s time to meet my last suitor .

I immediately recognize him as Paxton Wynter—ex-lead guitarist for Avenge. Gerald and Maxwell were huge fans of theirs.

I also know he was forced to leave the second season of Heated after being caught with drugs. It had been all over the papers after the season aired. He’d been cut from the band shortly after, but I have no idea what he’s been up to since then.

Bree and Tessa wouldn’t have allowed him back on if he wasn’t clean, so I’m not overly worried about that. As I told Dylan, I think everyone deserves a second chance—as long as they’re trying. That doesn’t mean I won’t be cautious around him.

Paxton has always been hot. His dirty blond hair is tousled and I can see hints of his tattoos sticking out from his tuxedo.

He doesn’t look as thin as he used to—probably a side effect of his drug use—but I think he looks better like this.

The added weight on his not quite six foot tall stature makes him look healthier.

His skin isn’t as pale as it was before, a nice tan gracing his body.

He approaches slowly, face somber—as if waiting for me to tell him to get out. I don’t like it. Not one bit.

“Hello, Paxton.” I hold my hand out to him as hints of his spice-filled scent hit me.

His lip turns up at one corner as he shakes my hand. “Hi, Emilia. It’s nice to meet you.”

“And you.” I pause, waiting to see if he’ll say anything else, but when he remains silent, I blurt out, “Two of my old pack mates were huge fans of yours when you were in Avenge.”

The half-smile immediately falls. “I’m glad, but that’s behind me now. As are the drugs, in case you were wondering.”

I shrug. “I wasn’t planning to bring it up just yet, but that’s good to know.”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I usually find it’s best to just get that part over with. I’m a little over two years sober.”

“That’s amazing news. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, depending on how long you’d been using. ”

“It was far from easy, and I had a few setbacks, which is why I’m only at just over two years.

But I’m determined to live my life sober.

” He shakes his head. “It wasn’t a good time in my life.

I’m ashamed I allowed myself to get swept up in it all and started using in the first place.

Even more ashamed at how long I used for.

It’s left its mark on me, but I’m a better man for getting sober. ”

“It doesn’t matter when you realized you had a problem or what made you realize it.

What matters is that you sought help. No, I don’t care that you were forced into rehab.

If you didn’t want to be sober, you wouldn’t be—no matter how many times you were strong-armed into going to rehab.

” I offer him a smile. “I know you were let go from the band. What have you been doing with yourself since then?”

Paxton blinks at me a few times, almost as if he doesn’t believe my words.

“Mostly focusing on staying sober. The owner of the recording company Avenge is with reached out to me earlier in the year to check on me and offer me an opportunity. I’ve been working on a solo album.

It’s almost finished, but we put a hold on it so I could come on Heated . ”

“Oh, that’s terrible. I hate that you had to pause recording to come on, but I’m glad you’re here.”

“I don’t mind, and neither did the studio. I love music, and I’m enjoying getting to write and record again, but I don’t want music to be my entire life. I want a pack and a family. I can’t find that just sitting in a recording studio, can I?”

He makes a good point. “That’s true, but why Heated ? Especially my season?”

“Why not your season?” He makes a face. “Surely, you haven’t had suitors who have given you a hard time about your situation, right? Because that’s fucked up if they have.”

“Oh, no. Everyone has been amazing so far. It just blows my mind that so many men would be willing to be a part of my pack. I’m fighting a man who assaulted me to keep the baby that was a result of his actions.

To keep my boys, who are all I have left of the pack I lost. That’s a lot of baggage to expect others to take on. ”

“And yet, we’re all here. What happened to you is beyond fucked, but it doesn’t reflect on you. What does is the fact that you’re fighting for a child you didn’t ask for. That you’re doing what you have to in order to keep your children safe.”

I just stare at him for a moment. It’s not like the other suitors haven’t said the same thing, but this man is—or at least was—a rockstar. He could have anyone in the world, and he’s here trying to win a place in my pack.