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Chapter Forty-One

Was it possible to be woken by an ambush inside your head? An unbearable weight pressing against the sides of my skull as nausea curled in my stomach.A monotonous symphony of machines, both a lifeline and a torment, amplified in the foggy depths of my mind.

My lips felt chapped. How long had it been since I’d had water? Was that why my head felt as though it were in a vice? I tried to open my eyes, to gauge my surroundings, to ask for a drink, but I couldn’t muster the energy.

The murmur of foreign voices were just above the surface, a sharp reminder the world was just outside my periphery, a light cascaded over my face, lingering over my eyes. Replaced by a feather light touch of my wrists and a squeezing of my hands.

Sebastian.

He was close, his words echoing in my ear, so close yet so far. Always there.

He spoke of colours, of light and love. He whispered my name repeatedly telling me it was okay. Telling me he wouldn’t leave and he loved me.

I wanted to tell him I loved him too, beg him to stay with me always but I didn’t have the strength to muster a response, the darkness again swallowing me until I could no longer hear his comforting words drifting over me like my favourite song.

The intermittent beeping forced itself through the edges of my hazy mind as I lazily blinked. My eyes were tired, still heavy as if my alarm had gone off hours too soon. My limbs aching as if I’d run a marathon.

Slowly gazing around the sterile room I took in the beige walls and the window showcasing an overcast sky. The natural grey light pouring through in direct competition with the artificial fluorescents overhead providing a bleak ambience.

The news played through a television high above, the volume muted.

The familiar medical equipment placed next to me, a clear fluid running through a tube, disappearing behind the sheet above me where I lay in a hospital bed. It was all fairly obvious – something wasn’t right.

Why was I in the hospital?

I rolled my still heavy head to the left where Sebastian was asleep in a chair. His hands were clasped resting on his stomach, firm even in sleep, a subconscious gesture of rigidity. His eyes were scrunched tight, as though he was unable to fully relax, but was too drained to remain awake any longer. I wanted to reach for him, to straighten the creases in his shirt, to run my fingers up and down his forearms.

He was here and even as he slept, he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. I painted his features while he rested, careful not to rustle against the sheets for fear of waking him. I wondered how long I’d been asleep, how long he had remained in those clothes.

I’d dreamt of him, of that I was certain. His voice, his strength and his comfort. An overwhelming sense of love shifted over me and the urge to tell him pressed against my skin. I’d known for a while but I was suddenly desperate to say it aloud.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed as I lay studying him, when he eventually twitched, his hand falling to cup the armrest and I noticed the scratches on his skin.

A distant memory knocked at the precipice of my mind, begging me to allow it entrance. Begging it to invade where it would surely provide answers for why I was currently laying in this bed, why he was cased with vicious red marks.

Why couldn’t I remember anything? I pondered, closing my eyes in an attempt to wade through the depths of my mind.

When I heard Sebastian stir again, I opened my eyes and watched as realisation dawned across his features and he lunged for my bed.

“Marls,” he said, taking my hand in his and kissing it tenderly. “How are you feeling, baby?” He planted kisses on my forehead too, before cupping my face in his hands.

“Hey,” I said, my voice strangely croaky. I attempted to clear my throat and Seb, already prepared, reached for a bottle of water on the side table, lifting the straw to my mouth.

“Thanks,” I rasped, the water instantly bringing relief. “What happened to your arm?”

He glanced down, his brows knitting together.

“Babe, you’re in a hospital bed and you’re asking about me ?” He lent forward, placing a soft kiss to my lips. “I’m fine. I’ve been worried about you .” His eyes flickered with something I couldn’t quite read as he again took my hand in his. I noticed a new rainbow woven bracelet tied to my wrist and studied it quizzically.

“Arna brought it for you. Said she couldn’t decide on just one, colour” he shrugged and I smiled, knowing the gesture was as much for her as it was for me. She would be anxious – worried about me, but I still didn’t fully understand why.

“I feel like I had a dream about you. But I can’t quite remember what happened,” I admitted, the memories close to the surface.

“It’s okay. The doctors said it may take time, your job is to rest.”

“What happened here though?” He wasn’t wearing his armour. The mask he usually kept in place to hide his feelings was long discarded, his face a combination of sadness and relief.

He lifted his arm, the red marks easily identifiable as scratches now he was closer. “Lori,” he stated simply and I gasped, my hand covering my mouth.

“Lori?” I whispered, although I knew the answer. At the mention of her name, cracks appeared in the barriers of my mind, edging me forward.

“Lori attacked you?” He nodded in response and I stared at him, unseeing as I dug deeper.

“You’ll remember,” he reassured, with a squeeze of my hand. “You just need to be patient,” he added, lifting my chin so I was looking at him, “and when you do, I’m here, okay? Always.”

I nodded, feeling sluggish, being awake even for this short amount of time was exhausting. I wanted to stay awake longer, to bask in the sanctity of his warmth, but my mind again felt like warm molasses, sticky and unrefined.

“Rest some more. I’ll be here when you wake,” he promised, as I succumbed to the disjointed cage of my mind, as the strangeness of this sterile room pushed down on me until I fell asleep.

The sound of the television waded through my sleepy mind, fragmented and distant at first, before becoming clearer as I blinked myself awake. Seb was still in the chair beside me, appearing much fresher than when I last woke. The khaki green of his shirt crisp against the olive tones of his skin and I quietly admired his side profile, his gaze on the television above.

“You look sexy,” I admitted and his eyes darted to me, a grin creasing his features.

“Hey, baby,” he said, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Eva brought me some clothes so I took a quick shower. Full disclosure, Arna has set up camp in the waiting room and when she found out I didn’t tell her you were awake before, she threatened to…” he ran a finger along his neck and I smiled. That was my girl, always protective.

“How long was I asleep for?” I asked, noting it was now dark outside.

He glanced at his watch before answering. “Nearly eight hours. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” I said with a stretch, “nothing like an eight hour nap.”

The sound of a familiar name from the television grabbed my attention as Sebastian’s gaze flicked upwards, his worried eyes darting back to mine. I leaned into the speaker next to my bed, quickly turning up the volume, and watching in horror as everything my mind had temporarily forgotten was displayed before me.

Blue and red lights illuminated the white cross on a familiar stretch of road. The female news reporter pointed towards the roadside memorial, as the camera zoomed in and my parents’ names filled the screen.

Authorities say a currently unnamed twenty-nine year old was kidnapped, drugged and assaulted by a female before being found unconscious on this stretch of road. The suspect, identified as Lori Smith, was allegedly known to the victim and police are currently investigating. Both the suspect and her brother have been charged with a string of offences and were already known to authorities. The victim remains in hospital where she is said to be in a stable condition surrounded by family and friends.

The news program flipped back to the studio, the presenters moving to discuss another matter as I pressed the off button on the remote.

Oh my god.

Lori.

Lucas.

Kidnapped. The words swam through me desperate to align into something logical. Something which would explain what I just heard.

The tea.

I reached up and felt a bandage on my forehead, the slight pressure of my fingers eliciting a gasp as I remembered the feel of her knuckles against my head.

It was Lori who hit me. Who drugged me.

“It was Lori,” I stated, looking at Sebastian who was waiting patiently while I worked through my hazy chaotic mind.

“She was at the Centre. And then her apartment. She gave me tea. I remember feeling sluggish. I think I fell,” I choked on a sob and Seb took both of my hands in his. “I thought I was going to die.”

“It’s okay, Marls. You’re safe, baby. We found you,” he stated, the emotion clear in his voice. “You and those damn sticky notes.”

“They’re literally life savers,” I explained, the humour missing from my response as the memories flooded through, quicker than I wanted.

“Seb…” my voice broke and he pulled me towards him, sitting on the side of the bed.

Lori’s living room came into focus, the sadistic lack of empathy in her eyes as she retold stories of times Lucas attacked me and she knew. How he told her about them. How she had also fallen victim to his aggression. How after I left he turned on her, and her parents, out of fear or apathy, did nothing. How she truly believed, in her own delusions, that forcing me back to Lucas would allow her to escape. My life for hers, she’d said with glee.

“I’m so sorry,” he soothed, holding me together when all I wanted was to fall apart. I felt entirely numb as Seb explained Lucas didn’t actually know Lori had been harassing me. How he defended her, would likely have done his best to make me stay, but wasn’t involved in this .

The information was too much, the realisation that another person I once loved and trusted was willing to hurt me so deeply, too painful to reconcile.

Too, too, too.

“I’m here and I love you,” his reassurances wrapped around me like a warm, steady anchor, grounding me as my sadness threatened to pull me under. Despite the overwhelming pain of my memories, his words felt real. A lifeline I could grasp onto as I let myself believe, just maybe, I wouldn’t slip away under the weight of grief.

Again.

“I’m sorry, she’s like a bulldog,” Seb said as Arna came barreling into the room and lunged for me.

“Hey,” I huffed, the smell of apples and cinnamon bringing a smile to my face, “you smell divine.”

“You smell awful,” she replied with a grin, “but I’m here to shower you and I brought every product I own.”

“I love you,” I said, giving her pause, before her eyes filled with tears.

“You scared the crap out of me. And then this guy wouldn’t let me in,” she shot Seb a scowl which only made me laugh as he held his hands up defensively. “And Andy wouldn’t let me kill him. It was really inconvenient,” she said with a sniff before hugging me again.

“I’m sorry,” I answered, my eyes on Seb. “I’m sorry to you both. I should have told you both everything.”

“No arguments there but that doesn’t matter now,” Arna said. “We just love you and are so glad you're safe.”

I felt my cheeks flush, a reminder of Seb telling me he loved me like syrup oozing through my chest. I hadn’t said it back yet, but I felt it and I hoped he knew that.

“I know. Okay, help me up because I really do smell like something rotten and would absolutely love a shower.”

“I’m sure I could have managed,” Seb mumbled, lowering the railing on my bed.

Arna sighed resignedly, fatigue evident in the dark circles under her eyes. “You’re right,” she said softly, as if even admitting it was painful. “You are the only other person in this world who I truly believe loves her as much as I do, but she’s my best-friend,” she said with a quick glance towards me, her tears mirroring my own. “And I nearly lost her too. Please let me help.” She pleaded and even through the blurry haze of my eyes I saw Seb soften, his nod an acknowledgment of trust.

“I don’t care who showers me but if someone could please help me remove the smell of decay, I’d be grateful,” I joked, needing to lighten the mood, to break the cloud of guilt they were both feeling.

Seb helped me stand as Arns came around and put her arm around my waist, escorting me into the bathroom.

“Can’t believe I had to cry just to wash your arse. He must really love you,” she mumbled and an unexpected laugh bubbled out of me.

As I sat in the cold plastic chair of the hospital shower and Arna washed my hair while telling me about Felicity and Jay’s latest argument in the waiting room, I felt warm. A warmth which reminded me despite everything I’d lost, I was going to be okay, because I was surrounded by the most amazing group of people who I loved and loved in me return. A healthy love full of reliability and trust. And that was all that mattered.

After my final check up, Seb went to check me out of the hospital. I needed monitoring for the next two weeks while I recovered from the nasty head knock – which required six stitches, and while Arna was a worthy opponent, she was no match for Sebastian.

I would be staying with him.

He reappeared, discharge papers in hand and an apologetic look on his face as Felicity and Eva followed him through the door.

“Hey, lovely,” Flick said, leaning in to give me a hug, remnants of chlorine mixing with the pineapple and amber smells of her perfume.

“Hello, you work at the pools today?” I asked.

“Sure did. We’ve missed you,” she grinned, stepping aside as Eva stepped forward to hug me.

“Hi Marls. Sorry we haven’t visited earlier,” she said, shooting her brother an annoyed glance. “Someone has been fairly strict with who is allowed to see you.”

“Doctor’s orders,” Seb huffed and I laughed.

“Sure,” she said with an eye roll. “Mum sends her love. She made you these,” Eva held a container of some delicious looking cookies and my stomach grumbled in response. “Mine are better though,” she added with a wink.

“Oh, these look amazing. Please tell her I said thank you.” Warmth fluttered in my chest and I looked over at Seb who was smiling softly, leaning against the wall, clearly enjoying my discomfort at being the centre of attention once again.

“You guys really didn’t need to come all this way. I’m going home soon.”

Eva sat on the end of the bed and opened the biscuits, offering them around. “Are you serious? I’ve never had a sister and Seb was being such a grouch about letting anyone see you so I refused to leave the waiting room until he let me in,” she shrugged and I again glanced at Seb to see him roll his eyes in a, ‘see what I have to put up with’ gesture.

“So, what have I missed?” I asked and as Flick began recounting random moments from the past few days, I basked in the joy which came with having people who cared about you. People who showed up for you no matter what.

“How’s Uni?” I asked Eva. We’d all finally recovered after another of Felicity’s hilarious stories from her job teaching kids to swim which included having to evacuate early today when a child found the terror of swimming too much, resulting in a code brown emergency.

Eva sighed and ran her hands down her face. “Urgh. Don’t even ask. I’m so glad it’s almost over. I just want to be done and start working properly, you know? And just quietly, I need to move out. Mum and Toby are just too much.” She scrunched her hands into fists and pressed them into her eyes.

“I can imagine,” I said, laughing at the exasperation written all over her features. “Once I’m better, we definitely need to go and have lunch.”

The smile on her face was comforting. “Let’s definitely do that. I will give you ladies all the dirt on good, old Sebby boy over here,” she pointed her thumb over her shoulder in his direction. “Did you know he used to–”

“Okay, visiting hours are over,” Seb said, easily lifting his sister from the bed and placing her at the door.

“Later,” she called as Flick picked up her bag and blew me a kiss.

“Thanks for coming,” I called as Seb closed the door.

“Sorry about that. They’ve been waiting for hours and I really didn’t want to let them in but Eva is persistent. It was hard enough keeping Mum away and I know Eva had a million questions she was dying to ask but didn’t.” The warmth moved through my chest again and the tears that lingered close to the surface returned. I held my hand out for him, seeking his comfort. There was never a time where I felt more gratitude to one person. His strength poured into me and I knew without him, I wouldn’t be so calm.

“Don’t be silly. I don’t mind at all. Really. It’s been a long time since I have had so many people who care. I adore your sister – especially when she drives you crazy. And Felicity is hilarious. I could survive on her stories from work alone.” He brushed a tear which fell from my cheek and softly pressed his lips to mine.

I closed my eyes and sighed, feeling a sense of fulfilment I hadn’t felt since before my parents passed.

“Take me home?” I asked, suddenly exhausted, smiling contentedly at my gorgeous, hazel eyed lover.