Page 10

Chapter Nine

B eing home over the last week had been surprisingly lonely. It was annoying how quickly I became used to the idea of having someone at my place. Last time someone stayed the night it was Cooper and Jay and I’d practically chased them out of here ready to draw blood after they offered to rearrange my gym equipment to what they thought would be more functional.

Marlee's exit was far more abrupt. She left while I was out and never gave me the chance to explain why I didn’t do everything I thought she wanted from me and more. My lingering frustration now pouring into each hit on the punching bag as I remembered her look of pain when I didn’t lean into those soft lips. When I didn’t do what I so desperately wanted, it was not only painfully difficult but her sadness intensified the guilt. As if I could ever take advantage of her that way.

Though not for lack of desire.

She was the epitome of a fucking wet dream and when she was asleep, making little noises as I lay her down, I had to physically stop myself from leaning over and painting her body with my tongue. And even more so when she held onto me after her nightmare. The way her eyes glazed and her lips parted had my cock awake and ready and it would’ve been easy to let him lead.

I saw the despair in her eyes when I didn’t lean over and kiss her, and while I wanted to erase her pain, I deserved a fucking medal for the level of self-control it took not to take advantage of that. Because there was a lot to desire with the warm smell of coconut which now inundated my bedroom and thoughts of the way her mouth would feel against my own while I tracked her body with my hands. For a second, I allowed myself to wonder what she would look like cuffed to my bed, begging me to fill her until she screamed my name.

Jesus Christ.

I was a lot of things, but I wasn't the kind of person who took advantage of someone who was clearly battling inner demons. And while the thought was tempting, I wasn’t willing to be a bandaid for her. If she wanted me that was fine, more than fine given my infatuation – but not when she was using it as an escape from her pain.

I told myself I let her stay for a mate. A mate who I had known a bloody long time. One who brought his boys to the club, boys who played for the top football team in the state which was always a catalyst for a heap of fans who were hyped and consequently overspent. I told myself having her here was because I valued my life and Arna seemed pretty serious with her threats to end mine, but it was all bullshit.

It was my growing crush which instigated me to make her a coffee and wait for the look of satisfaction when she tasted something I fashioned. Especially given I actually had the caramel thanks to Mum’s coffee order.

Refocusing on the task in front of me, I punched into the bag. My irritation was clear. It hadn't ended the way I would have liked and now I wasn’t sure what my next move should be.

I couldn’t deny the disappointment when I returned and she wasn’t there. Something which should have been nothing felt frustratingly unfinished. And I didn’t like unfinished.

I needed to see her again.

I wanted to know what had caused the fear that sat in the depths of her emerald eyes. I wanted to hear her story, wrap her in strength and then make her smile. Smile for me .

The familiar shrill of my phone pulled me from my daydream and I sighed, quickly unstrapping my hand and reaching to answer Cooper’s call.

“Yeah,” I greeted plainly despite what I knew was coming.

“Oh, so he is alive. Thought you were dead, mate.” His voice always held a hint of humour, but his mockery was apparent. I could hear the gentle strum of his guitar and could almost see him sitting on his back deck, playing the same song only ten years younger. His blonde hair falling in a haphazard mess over his face, his larger than life grin always close to the surface. Despite having the world at his fingertips, as a result of his money rich yet emotionally poor parents, he was the most down-to-earth person I knew and brought out the biggest of my emotions. Moving from anger to laughing back to wanting to kill him in the space of a conversation. Since the first day of Kindergarten we'd been best-mates and nothing would ever change that. Not even his ability to worm his way into my deepest cuts and openly pour a packet of salt right into any exposed wound he could find just for his own enjoyment.

“Nah, just been busy,” I knew I was being short, snappy even. The aggravation of my new obsession persisting.

“You missed Sunday boxing. You all good?” He asked and my first instinct was to deflect. There wasn’t really any way to tell him about Marlee without him reading too much into things and I wasn’t even sure myself what the fuck she was or what I was thinking.

If I kept things vague, I could hopefully avoid the brow beating for missing our weekly session at the gym. The fact he was calling me at all meant he was concerned, knowing better than anyone that I hated communicating over the phone.

“You just interrupted me on the bag, actually.”

“Your avoidance has my attention, brother.” Savvy fucker saw straight through the decoy. I knew I was going to regret telling him, but I also wouldn’t lie. Never to him. We’d been through too much, and in a sadistic kind of way, I enjoyed the bullshit he threw. The way he pushed me to say what I mean and mean what I say.

“I had a guest here for the weekend,” I moved to the bench where my water bottle, towel and headphones were. Taking a sip of water, I put my earbuds in, knowing I needed to put my phone down before Coop inevitably had me wanting to launch it across the room.

“What are you running a bed and breakfast? What do you mean you had a guest?” I could hear a slight wheeze as he hit his hand against what was likely his thigh. The prick was laughing.

“You’re a dick,” I said.

“Wait,” – another thigh slap – “You had a guest. As in you had someone stay the night. I’m assuming by guest it wasn’t Evy and obviously wasn’t me. Which means it was a woman.”

“Dickhead, shut up. I was doing a favour for Andy,” the words feeling acidic as they left my mouth.

“A favour for Andy?” he asked, confused. Re-strapping my hand and inwardly sighing at the length of this phone conversation, I gave him a brief summary.

“Arna and her friend came into the club. The friend had some trouble and needed somewhere to crash while Andy and Arna were out of town. End – of – story.” I punctuated the final words with a punch, forcing myself to also believe the lie.

“Is she hot? If you aren’t interested, hook me up. I’ll show her some fun.” I knew he was joking but the fire was instant and inexorable. I was not going to tell him it was the same friend we saw last weekend at poker night, especially now.

“Fuck off, Cooper.” My words oozed with a shocking level of possession. The wall was down. There was no hiding. I didn’t care enough about anyone who wasn’t family to defend them and he of all people would know that.

His laugh was loud this time as he again wheezed through his words.

“Never thought I would see the day. I need to meet this woman who has kept you away from boxing and stayed at your place. Two firsts in the Micallef house.”

He knew how to ensnare me with his jovial bait every time and I needed to end the conversation before I told him too much.

“Anything else, Coop, I need to finish training and get to the club.” Anything to get my mind away from somewhere it had no business being or accidentally telling him who she was.

“I’m coming in tonight, brother, have a new single malt for you to try and need to hear more about the bird you’re hooking me up with.” I hung up to the sound of his laughter before I said something I would regret, but I was still smirking. Infuriating bastard.

I wouldn’t be the man I was today if it weren’t for his unwavering generosity and backing. Despite the fact that leaving home at seventeen was ridiculously difficult, I had Cooper to thank for the support he gave me both with a room and a less than friendly reminder that the ticket to success was something we each had the power to grasp if we were hungry enough.

Living with him gave me a free place to crash while I could work behind bars at night, saving enough to get a place of my own. I’d had some amazing mentors in those early years and working for Heath afforded plenty of opportunities to learn. He and his team taught me everything they knew and anything they didn’t, I researched, observed and sought out, hungry for knowledge. My commitment paid off in longer hours, more responsibilities when on shift and eventually, when he was ready to sell, having witnessed my passion and potential, he handed me the place for an absolute bargain. I paid off the loan in the first year alone and I was able to get myself my own apartment shortly after. I wanted to move Mum and Evangeline out of their tiny two-bedroom place next, but Judy Micallef was a stubborn woman. She said she didn’t need anything big or flashy because she was happy, and if she left her quaint neighbourhood, she would miss her friends.

I knew Eva would leave Moorway as soon as she'd finished her degree, but she stayed to keep Mum company while she could. When she did come to visit I loved having my little sister around. She enjoyed baking, which meant there were always different sugary treats, she respected my space with minimal mockery and she was smart as shit with a freakish affinity for numbers. She would come into Nexus and spend hours perusing the books, music blaring through her gigantic headphones and a peppermint tea on the desk. I wasn’t allowed to disturb her or risk physical pain but when she left, they were always a billion times more organised and the office smelt like mint. Both of which made me smile. The silent assassin – that was my sister.

When Dad left, I became the man of the house. It wasn’t something I wanted, but was a responsibility I took seriously. Mum ensured we were fed and loved, but Eva gravitated towards me in every other way and often slept on the floor of my room as she was too scared to be alone. Mum was her go to for scraped knees, baking and anything related to boys but otherwise, it was me. Me who answered the inundation of questions each day about anything and everything. Me who played Connect Four and Uno with her when she couldn’t sleep. Me who fixed her bike tyres when she got a puncture or took her to the park before we went for ice-cream. And me who eventually taught her how to drive and helped with her university applications.

For so long it was just her and I, getting up to mischief while Mum was busy working or taking care of the house – that was until I met Cooper and he adopted us and we him. My circle had always felt complete with the two of them. There was no need for anyone or anything else because what we had worked. I'd never wanted anyone or anything more. But that conviction no longer felt so concrete with memories of brown hair and soft skin sleeping in my bed making me think that maybe I was missing something.

With another round of punches I realised I was officially fucked and whether I liked it or not, my circle was expanding regardless of what I thought I needed.