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Chapter Thirty-Three

“Shut - your - face. Is this a sex dungeon made just for me? Books and booze, swoon,” Arna’s excited hysteria made me grin.

“Yes, Arns, I’ve brought you to a sex dungeon,” I whispered, her giggle filling the air as we walked through the aisles of books and out into the bar. Booze N Books was a hidden little gem at the back of a bookshop and I knew Arna would adore the smell of the pages while I could peruse the cocktail list.

That counted as reading, right?

It was a cool night and the strip heaters along the roof were flaming red, alleviating the chill in the air. There were people sitting at the tables, some in groups and others alone reading, enjoying the ambience and tranquillity that only a place such as this could provide. I’m not sure I would ever be brave enough to actually come here alone though, that took a whole other kind of nerve I was not born with.

“Do you think you could date yourself?”

Honestly, sometimes I thought my BFF could read my mind.

“Absolutely not,” I answered horrified by the thought. “I would bore myself to death. I envy people who can date themselves though. I genuinely wish I had that courage.”

“I could definitely date myself,” she said, “especially if I knew I could also sit and read.”

Arna’s passion for words was something I’d always admired. Her and Felicity read more than anyone else I knew, which often meant I sat bored while they swapped book stacks and reviews. Although, it gave me time to stare at the sexy cover images – especially when they were going through their hockey romance faze.

“This is the place I've been meaning to bring you. I knew you'd love it. It’s a shame Flick couldn’t come,” I added as she fanned through the pages of a book she grabbed from the Borrow while you Binge shelf and discreetly sniffed the pages.

“I know. Her damn uterus,” she said, referring to Felicity’s troublesome relationship with her body. “Marls, I think I'm in love. Screw the penthouse, I want to live here.”

Laughing, we sat at a high top table on two of the stools, scanning the QR code to order. Arna selected an apple martini and I went for the passion fruit one, paying on my phone because tonight was my shout. After leaving the bank today, my account held enough money to get myself a small place, furnish it however I desired and still order whatever we wanted without having to look at the price. The relief of another area of my life falling into place, palpable.

“Isn't it fantastic? Seriously though, I just needed out. A night of my bestie, booze and bitching.” Seb and I still hadn't seen each other since our argument three days ago and I was really torn up about it all. Sitting at home wasn't helping and I wasn’t sure how to open up the conversation we needed to have.

Part of me wanted to roll around on him like he was a glitter mat and I was covered in glue, but the other half was still navigating the dynamics of what it meant to be in a relationship again and, as messed up as it sounded, I wasn't used to being in a healthy one where my anger was allowed . Where I was actually given space to be upset.

Was it normal that he wanted to protect me? I mean, hiring people to look into my past didn’t seem appropriate but maybe his intentions were pure. Wayne and I hadn’t really spoken on the drive home, but one thing he did say had stuck and it was wreaking havoc on my emotions.

Don’t be too hard on him, . He's a good man. If he lets you into his little circle, you are in it for life and he will shelter you from whatever pain he can, even if that means he carries it himself. He just needs your patience and he'll learn.

“Marls, I can see your mind ticking again. I told you, alllll men are confusing. They’re impatient in one breath and then entirely adorable in the next. But you know his intentions are good,” she looked at me with her eyebrows raised.

“I know. I just don’t even know how to be with someone who actually cares about me. How fucked up is that?” My voice was barely audible over the soft music playing. I knew Arna wouldn't judge, but it wasn't easy being vulnerable when I had so few people left in my life.

“Darls, Seb is a good man. He probably should have told you before he went rifling through your life, but we know he was just fulfilling the role of the hot brooding boyfriend who does whatever he needs to do to protect his woman.” She deepened her voice over the last part, beating her chest like a cavewoman and a laugh bubbled out of me as the waitress brought our drinks to the table.

Clinking glasses, we took our first sip and an appreciative noise emanated from within me.

Arna nodded in acknowledgement, “Ya-ummmm. I’m taking a photo and sending it to Andy. The boys will all be there by now and I warned him I’d be coming home drunk and ready to be pounded in the spa. So they better be gone by then.”

“You do realise I still live with you, right?”

“I do,” she answered unapologetically.

“Remind me never to swim in that thing again – and to wear headphones to bed tonight,” I said grimacing, holding my drink in the air and smiling when she lifted her phone. As her phone whooshed, indicating her message had sent, I felt a little sad.

I hadn’t even thought about Seb being at Andy’s house tonight because I hadn’t spoken to him properly for days. I didn’t know how work was, whether he had thought about me throughout the days or how he was sleeping. I was out of the loop and it made me sad.

Urgh. I missed him.

“So,” she started, putting her drink down, “when are you going to let him back in? And by in, I mean inside your lady lounge?” She wiggled her eyebrows and I choked on my drink. This was the reason we were friends. She always knew exactly what to say to cheer me up and was also the best person to snap me out of the funks when I began wallowing.

“You are insatiable, woman,” I sighed, feeling the familiar tingle of the martini hitting my blood stream. “Probably tomorrow. I hate to admit but I can see where he was coming from and while it wasn’t something I wanted, I understand. I really do miss him. All of him.” Arna squealed and signalled to the bartender for two more drinks.

“Oh, I bet you do. When Andy goes away, we get super lonely,” she pushed her bottom lip out in faux sadness, pointing at her crotch.

“Of course you do,” I was giggling, but the pride on her face only made me laugh louder.

Our next drinks arrived and I rolled my eyes at the fairy floss flowing from the glasses. Arna grinned and grabbed her phone to snap another photo before sending it too.

“Andy said Seb and Cooper just arrived and Seb has asked about you twice already. I told him to say that you’re on a date.”

“Arna! NO!” My face blanched. I could only imagine what that would do to him and while I was still super angry, he didn’t deserve that.

Not even twenty seconds later my phone buzzed and his face appeared on my screen with a new message. I couldn’t help the way my heart beat a little quicker or the warmth which spread through me at how quickly he made contact when he thought I was with someone else.

Sebastian

Baby, Andy better be joking about you being on a date.

“Oh my god, Arns. Andy told him I was on a date,” I sighed and she shrugged.

“One of you needs to snap out of this funk. I’m sick of seeing you miserable every night.”

“You just want me out of the apartment so you can shag louder.”

“That too,” she grinned and I looked back to my phone where another message from Seb had come through.

Sebastian

I miss you and so does the glass in my office…

And I’m sorry.

I grinned at my phone, crossing my legs at the slow ache taking flight between my thighs at the thought of the glass in his office. Arna’s phone rang and she answered a video call from Andy while I quickly replied.

You know I'm not on a date.

I miss you too. I appreciate your apology.

And do not make me think about that when I'm out without you.

Glancing up Arna turned her screen to me and I held my childish drink aloft and smiled at Andy’s face. The camera turned quickly panning to Seb sitting at the poker table, cards in his hands.

I hitched in a breath.

He stared right through the phone, his eyes tentatively appraising, waiting to see how I responded to him.

How was he even sexier than I remembered, scowl and all?

Cooper came in from the side and stuck his face over the entire screen, grinning at me, “Hey, Marls. You look hot. Need us to come out to make sure – ouchhhh,” he whined and I cracked up as I saw him hold onto his arm and Andy take the phone back.

My phone buzzed again as Arna began babbling about her desire for a spa later to her smiling fiancé.

Sebastian

You are beautiful.

I want to taste that cotton candy on your tongue. Should I throw this hand and come and get you?

I sent a love reaction to his message and then decided Martini was a little bratty.

Have to go, there is a dance floor calling my name. Good luck with the hand though.

I was definitely going to need to see him tomorrow. Both to kerb the building arousal and because we needed to talk. Emptying my glass I stood and reached for Arna’s hand, proud of the flirtatious undertones in my message.

“Tell him you will see him later, I want to dannnnceeee,” I was definitely tipsy as I leaned over and blew a kiss to Andy just before she hung up.

“How is my man such a snack?” She exclaimed as she stood and followed me to the tiny dance floor where we were literally the only people up and moving. It was banger after banger and it wasn’t long before my hair was stuck to my neck as we headed towards the table. In the midst of dancing Arna had somehow ordered us two shots and two more drinks that looked like they came from a children’s lolly shop.

“I have no idea what this is, but it’s delectable,” she moaned, taking a sip.

“All of this sugar is going to give me a headache and I don’t even care,” I replied, hiccuping and then giggling. “Leave your migraine pills out for me because Martini is going to need them.”

“It’s a Tequila Mockingbird,” she slurred. “Cheers to Atticus Finch.” I had no idea what she was talking about but I threw my head back alongside hers, the burn of the liquor scorching my throat before we had the second one immediately after.

“I think after these we should go somewhere with a bigger dance floor,” my tongue felt thicker in my mouth but I was enjoying myself too much to stop. The alcohol had taken the edge off the sadness that I'd been feeling for the past few days and it was a relief to have a moment where I wasn’t constantly worried about how Seb and I would work through this.

“Okay, I need to go to the bathroom and I’ll let Andy know we're moving. I might send him a pic while I’m in there too,” she grinned as she went to the toilet and I sipped my lolly land cocktail, fanning my sweaty neck with the menu.

I’m still mad at you

But I miss you

And your cock

And the glass

And your smell

“Let’s have one more drink and then we will goooooo,” Arna called, returning from the bathroom.

“Sounds good to me,” I replied with a definite slur, locking my phone and joining her to walk over to the bar and order another two martinis. Because, why not?

The air was refreshing when we stepped outside and I reached for Arna as I tripped down the step a little. We ended up staying for three more drinks, another few dances and at least one drunken argument about who the greatest band of the Eighties was – Queen, obviously.

I opened my phone to order us an Uber to the next bar and closed one eye, the screen a blurry hot mess.

“Arna,” I giggled, “I think you should order the car. I’ve gone blind.” She was leaning against the building next to me, removing her shoes.

“My feet are killing me and I think I already ordered one,” she slurred, laughing as she spoke. Her cackle set me off and I jumped to the other side of her, not entirely sure why. I closed my eyes and smiled as the engine of our ride arrived at the kerb. Damn, these Ubers were fast.

I didn’t budge, knowing Arna would be all over it, like she was with everything else and waited for her to tell me it was time to move my arse.

“I miss Sebastiannnnn,” I whined, “and I especially miss his dick.” I heard the door open and close but I still didn’t budge, enjoying the feel of the breeze on my neck and the bricks against my bare legs.

“Whaddduu say?” Arna drawled, her words lit with happiness.

“I saiiiiddddd, I miss Seb’s thickkkkk cockkkkkk. Cock,” I giggled. “Cock is a funny word,” I said, finally opening my eyes when she didn’t reply. I inhaled quickly when I saw Arna watching me, her hand over her mouth to hide the fact she was clearly suppressing a laugh, and two very attractive and very familiar men standing on the kerb. Andy was leaning against his car, his arms crossed, with a huge smile plastered on his face. Seb was standing closer to me, staring as though I were his last meal.

“Oopsie,” I said with a giggle, “do you think he heard me?” I whispered to Arna who lost it entirely before running to Andy.

Looking towards my personal thunderstorm, I grinned. “ is busted-custard, isn’t she?”

His eyes narrowed as he took a step towards me, brushing my cheek with his lips and I heard Arna’s muffled laugh coming from behind him. My breathing increased as I watched him, and before I could decide exactly how to play this one out, I threw myself at him, smashing my mouth against his.