Page 32

Chapter Thirty-One

Hanging up from another emergency appointment with Suzie – only my second since we moved to monthly – I replayed her words in my mind.

We champion for all of our clients to make it to the other side, but I’ve been rooting for you a little harder than most.

You've come so far, and lately your smile is a little wider and your eyes a little brighter.

Take every opportunity , because you were born to be more.

Thankfully she was able to accommodate an unscheduled session because a verbal unload was exactly what I needed. She was the epitome of self-help and I admired how she could provide professional support, while also making me feel seen and heard. Honestly, she could be an international spokesperson for uplifting womankind and I would be sitting at all her shows in the very front row, cheering like nobody’s business. She reminded me about my circle of control and how the unreasonable worries were better left to the side. And as usual, she was right. The old out of sight, out of mind mentality was what I needed to adopt, and with Seb at the club, I was looking forward to some time to myself.

After spending a decent amount of time cleaning my room, I sat on the bed and wondered what I could do now. “Maybe I should go see Mum and Dad,” I spoke aloud to myself. “Their listening skills are top-tier these days,” I slapped my thigh with an exaggerated huff at the macabre humour which seemed wasted with no one around to hear and grabbed my jacket on the way out of my room.

Exiting the lift I locked eyes with Adam across the lobby and his face lit up with a smile.

“Hey,” I’d only seen him once in the last few weeks and I hoped he’d moved on from whatever happened when we last spoke.

“, how are you?” His professional tone held none of the friendly comfortability which he previously used and my shoulders dropped, the tension loosening.

“Well, thanks,” shrugging but providing nothing further, I kept walking, wanting to visit the cemetery and be home before it got dark.

“You in a rush?” He started to walk, his bigger strides eating up the distance between us and I felt goosebumps rise on my arms when his hand brushed the back of mine, “I haven’t seen you in a while. What’s keeping you so busy?”

“Same old, same old,” I answered evasively as I waved in farewell. When someone from behind called his name, he stopped and I took the opportunity to race out the door. He needed to work on his emotional intelligence because there was nothing about my body language that suggested I was interested yet he continued to seek me out. It gave me the absolute creeps and apart from speaking to Andy about his weirdo doorman, avoiding him at all costs seemed the only solution.

The cemetery was busy when I arrived, which was both good and bad.

Good, because it meant I could slip in unnoticed and felt safer amongst the crowd, but bad because this brought with it an amplified grief which permeated the air. I headed for the little shop at the entryway and browsed the vibrant arrangements. I loved the idea that people selected flowers which meant something to them or their loved one even as the world continued to spin without their presence. That even when their family left, there was still a small reminder they’d been there. On that note, I selected a bunch of sunflowers. The yellow was bright and cheerful and I rubbed the pad of my finger across the soft petal.

“Haven’t seen you around here for a little while. A peony for your thoughts?” The familiar voice washed over me and I smiled. Angie was at least mid-eighties, held a subtle trace of a British accent in her inflection and walked with a limp. I wanted to ask if she'd been here longer than the cemetery itself, but, despite having been removed from society for a while, I figured it would likely still be considered rude. She was adorable, notwithstanding the ridiculous floral puns she threw at you anytime you came into her shop.

I smiled, as this one in particular was new and she plucked a peony from under the counter as she spoke, handing it to me. Following the funeral I became a regular visitor and Angie was a consistent face who made me smile in those early days when I felt like I never would again.

“Angie! It’s been a minute. I hope you’ve been well. I actually have a joke for you ,” I handed her the flowers and a twenty dollar note.

“What happens to a flower when it gets embarrassed?” I asked and she shrugged with a grin.

“It gets rose-y cheeks,” I giggled, barely able to finish the ridiculous joke.

“You grow girl, that was fern-tastic,” she answered, making me laugh more. I spent the whole trip researching floral jokes but she always had another in the tank.

“Enjoy the sunshine today, darling,” she smiled kindly, handing me back my change and I threw it into the tip jar with a wave goodbye.

Mum and Dad’s graves sat next to each other in the last row of the Tranquility Garden and their headstones were mirror images of one another.

Soul mates in life and death. Mum’s stone told the world she was a beloved wife to Keith Harting, a doting mother to and a friend to all she met. Whereas Dad’s spruiked he was a beloved husband to Edwina, idolised father to and a passionate soul who loved a yarn. I placed the flowers on the saddle holders that sat atop their graves and sat down to fill them in on the tribulations of my current life.

One thing about speaking to them in the beyond, was I could literally say anything and there was no embarrassment or repercussions. I was mid-way through the encounter with Clara when my phone buzzed. It was likely a sign from Dad telling me he didn’t need to hear this story. Smiling at the thought, I tapped the screen as I remembered a time Mum and I were sitting in the kitchen, the smell of a fresh pot of tea lingering in the air and a tin of shortbread sitting on the table. Mum was telling me about the first time she met Dad and he overheard and raced in, covering her mouth, the action telling me more than I ever needed to know about that date. Mum had laughed until the tears swam down her face and my own eyes filled with tears now at the beautiful memory. Blinking them away, I swiped my screen freezing when I saw it was another text from an unknown contact.

Unknown

I didn’t realise you had a boyfriend, .

I’m quite hurt.

My phone fell from my hand, landing with a thud on the grass as the blood drained from my face.

Oh my god. No, no, no, no, no. Not now. Not here.

My hands visibly shaking, I reached for my dropped phone and tentatively turned to look at the few people scattered around at the nearby gravesites. The crowd was thinner than earlier and there was no longer anyone I recognised. Who knew how long I had been sitting here. Once I started talking, I could go on for hours if I wasn’t interrupted.

I ordered an Uber for right this damn second, and stood, placing a kiss on each of the stones with my trembling hands.

Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?

I hated that just as I was getting comfortable being out again I was thrust back into a life of fear. Always worrying, always cautious, my every move, thought and word carefully planned.

I took my house keys from my purse, holding one between my fingers, the universal female weapon when alone and scared in public. Realistically, it wasn’t going to do much damage, but it afforded me some sense of peace as my ride arrived just as I stepped up to the kerb.

I would most definitely be leaving a tip for his punctuality.

My eyes darted around one last time as I jumped into the car, briefly greeting the driver. When we drove out of the gates and the automatic locks of the car clicked into place, I sagged. Finally. Shooting Arna a message with a screenshot of the driver and my estimated arrival time I asked her to meet me in the lobby.

Arna

Sure thing. xo

Her instant reply was a welcome distraction from the other message taking up residence in my brain.

Travelling the last few blocks I focused on remaining calm, a sense of relief washing over me when I arrived to Arna waiting outside as promised. I practically ran to her and she barely had a second to look up from her phone before I barrelled into her.

“I’m happy to see you too,” she was laughing as she retracted herself from my grip, but paused as soon as she caught my face.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

I sighed, the weight of the day taking its toll. “Let’s go upstairs and I’ll fill you in,” I answered, linking our arms. We walked briskly and headed straight for the elevators. I could feel her sneaking furtive glances at me, ready to pounce on whatever or whoever had freaked me out.

“Your mate is so strange. He literally never speaks to me unless he is asking about you,” her whispered words held a light-hearted edge, her attempt to make me smile no doubt, but all it did was remind me how frustratingly fragile I still was. I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself as I felt Adam’s eyes boring into my back. Why couldn’t people just leave me alone!

When the doors opened, I leapt inside and pressed the button for the penthouse repeatedly in the hopes the doors would close quicker.

“Jesus, you're shivering, what the fuck?” Her eyes were suddenly full of concern, any attempt at merriment gone.

“I’m so sick of being afraid,” I admitted throwing my hands up in frustration. She waited, letting me vent and withholding the questions I knew she was dying to ask.

When we were inside, with the door securely locked, I finally took a deep breath knowing this apartment was an impenetrable shield and had been since the day I moved in.

“I think we need a drink for this conversation,” I huffed, “I have a lot to catch you up on.”

“I’ll make margaritas. You sit and talk,” she replied, draping a blanket over my shoulders. I nodded, unlocking my phone and getting the messages ready to show her.

In between arriving home and now, Seb had messaged me telling me he missed me and despite my anguish, I smiled. I hadn’t even told Arna how serious we were and suddenly I wanted to purge everything I’d kept to myself.

“I can’t wait any longer. Spill it, sister, whose arse am I kicking?” She gestured towards the lounge and I followed, reaching for my drink and getting comfortable.

Her face moved through the spectrum of emotions as she listened to me recounting the events of my life including my strange run-ins with Adam, seeing Lori again, the fact I had a boyfriend and just how much I liked him. A boyfriend who showed me who was boss against the glass of his club before I told off his friend and some psycho employee. She squealed at this little story before her excitement turned to horror when I handed her my phone, open to the two messages I received. She paled, quickly looking up at me before reading them again.

“Okay. Firstly, I'm not happy I am hearing about all of this so long after it happened. I should be on speed dial with real-time updates regarding your life provided daily. In fact, just keep me on video call at all times. Secondly, Andy will sort the doorman out. Fucking creep. Thirdly, you should go to the police, this borderline stalker behaviour breaches his AVO. It’s not okay.” I went to interrupt, to remind her the AVO had expired but she held her finger up, clearly not done.

“Actually, before you reply to any of that, I want to know what Sebastian said? I bet he was unhinged.”

“Well, I haven’t actually told him,” I bit my nail already knowing she would be irritated – and rightfully so. Lucas was clearly lacking in the area of mental stability.

“What do you mean you haven’t told him! That is literally the best part of having a hot, scary, piece of man meat as a boyfriend . Well, almost the best. He will protect you,” she stared at me, her eyebrows raised as if I was a fool.

I smiled. “Arna, things are too new. I already come with enough baggage without scaring the poor bloke with this. Also, I don’t think the police are necessary. The AVO has expired. It’s Lucas being Lucas. He's trying to scare me because I left him and he knows I don’t have the legal protection anymore. But if Andy could speak to Adam, I would definitely appreciate that. His weirdness is the last thing I need right now.”

“Hmmm. I’m not sure how I feel about that,” she held the remote in my direction and I nodded, acknowledging it was okay to turn the game on. It would be the distraction I needed given I couldn’t have Seb. The coffee table was already lined with snacks and I shook my head smiling at how quick she was to organise a spread of food.

“Show me the messages again,” she said, reaching for my phone. Her face scrunched as she re-read them before she quickly thrust it back at me, her eyebrows wiggling up and down with a smirk on her lips.

“Your man meat is messaging you and I don’t think I’m the intended recipient,” her scowl making me smile as I reached for the phone.

Sebastian

Day was fine. But it would be better if you were going to be with me tonight.

Naked.

Can I pick you up after I leave Nexus?

It took me a minute to decipher what he meant, smiling as I replied.

Would love that. xx

“But really, Marls, you need to take this seriously. If you won’t go to the police, at least tell Sebastian. Please.”

I nodded, suspecting she was right and it would help telling him, a burden shared and all that. But, I really liked him and the worry of him leaving sat heavy over every decision I made. My heart was still so raw I wasn’t sure I would be able to mend it again if he didn’t want messy. Plus, he also didn’t need something to stress over when I was fine.

An involuntary shudder passed through me when I remembered whoever it was had clearly been following me. So maybe I wasn’t entirely fine. But, I had a boyfriend now and he wasn’t a wallflower and if they saw me with him, they would know that.

Pushing it to the back of my mind, I snuggled into Arna ready to watch the boys play until Seb came to get me and I could nuzzle into him in a very different way.