Page 31

Chapter Thirty

Quietly extracting myself from underneath Seb’s arm, I took a moment to admire his sleeping form.

He looked so carefree, the worries and mask he held in place during the day, slipping away, and I loved seeing him in this way. I tiptoed to the bathroom, needing to empty my bladder but also feeling the urge to re-read the message I received when we were at Nexus.

Unknown

I love that dress on you, .

I shivered, my body responding the same way as the other fifteen times I’d read the words from the unknown number. The fear and anxiety was smothering and consumed my mind almost every minute, yet I hadn’t forwarded it to Arna or mentioned it to Sebastian. Both things I knew I should have already done. I also definitely hadn’t replied.

What was I supposed to say?

Who is this?

Because I was fairly certain I already knew the sender and was more concerned about how they discovered my number. Or better yet, how did he even get into Nexus to see my dress when Seb banned him. If Seb knew his security team failed to stop him entering again, he was going to lose his shit and I didn’t need to be the reason for any more chaos at his place of work. Especially after the little spray I’d given Clara.

Maybe he’d seen me before I entered the club, as I said farewell to Arna and dashed inside– but somehow that only made the fear worse. I splashed water on my face, hoping to clear the possibilities racing through my head, each worst than the last, and headed back to a still very much asleep Sebastian. I’d barely slept since we got into bed, the worries not allowing my mind to rest and now the sun was beginning to rise. It was going to be another long day.

I should have been more excited for today because I had an appointment with the bank. I was finally able to access the money from my parents, and things were mostly running smoothly in my life – but the message dampened any excitement.

Sebastian pulled me into him, drawing a deep sigh from my chest as his warm body encased my own.

“You okay?” He mumbled, his voice hazy with sleep.

I wanted to answer him honestly, but I wasn’t sure what to say.

No, someone I don’t know messaged me and I think I’m being stalked . I’m terrified of losing this – of losing us – of my baggage ruining everything.

If it was Lucas, it meant he still wasn’t taking no for an answer and that paralysed me with fear. I couldn’t go back.

When I saw him at Nexus he looked completely crazed. His eyes were bloodshot and he fidgeted from foot to foot the entire time. He was more unkempt than I had ever seen him and all signs led to something nefarious. Likely his drug use spiralling. Then again at the cafe, while a little cleaner, he was still unhinged. Teetering on the cusp of an eruption as he so often had when we were together. If he was on the same drugs he liked to experiment with when we were dating, I didn’t need to drag this perfectly sane wall of stability into that cyclonic mess.

“Mmmhmm,” I didn’t trust myself to answer, instead grazing my fingertips over his forearm as he held me firm. I was too anxious to sleep, too uncertain to try to explain, so instead, I rolled over and climbed on top of him knowing exactly how I could clear my mind of anything other than him.

The sun was high when I next opened my eyes and it took a minute before the thoughts which had kept me up most of the night resurfaced. Pushing them back down, knowing it was only going to lead to a headache, I concentrated on the faint notes of The Weeknd’s voice rumbling through the walls. Padding down the hallway, I took the opportunity to perv on Sebastian while he worked up a sweat. He laid back, pressing the weights above his chest, his quiet grunts reminding me of the sounds he made only a few short hours ago. His bulging biceps and chiselled abdomen made more sense to me now; he trained hard. I wanted a litre of caffeine and some toast and this guy was here smashing a set of weights after already completing a boxing session with Cooper.

Deciding to surprise him with brunch, I headed back to his room where I threw my dress back on and snuck out the front door. Wishing I’d remembered my sunglasses, I shielded my eyes and walked the two minutes from his building to our usual go to, hoping like hell there were some of those orange and poppyseed muffins I loved.

It smelt like a hangover’s dream inside Karla’s Kafe as people sat, chatting quietly while they ate along the cushioned benches. A soft tune serenaded the patrons and I gazed through the display at all the delicious flaky goodness calling my name. Blueberry pastries, almond croissants, Nutella donuts, vanilla slices and an array of muffins lined the shelves and indecision drove my order.

“Hi there, may I please have one of everything, a caramel latte and a strong piccolo?” I smiled, pointing to the cabinet of sweets.

The cashier laughed knowingly as I tapped my card, “Name for the order?”

“,” I answered, stepping to the side to scroll my phone while I waited. I replied to Arna, letting her know I would be home later and was definitely keen to watch Andy’s match on TV, as long as there were snacks and wine. She sent back a picture of liquorice, popcorn, margarita glasses and a cocktail shaker, which made me giggle and told me Felicity was also coming too. I sent back a string of hearts, very much looking forward to some girl time, footy and laughs tonight.

When my name was called, I grabbed the drink tray and the two large bags, heading back towards the apartment building. The streets were busy with people making the most of the beautiful morning sunshine and I breathed in the crisp salt air that was now hinted with caramel from the cup in my hand. I wondered how much it would cost to rent a place close by and filed away the thought for after my meeting at the bank. The ocean had always been a source of comfort and I could definitely get used to this lifestyle. Plus, the Neighbourhood Centre wasn't too far, so getting to and from work wouldn't be an issue and my delicious boyfriend would be my suburb-buddy – winning.

Too busy in my own head, I nearly bumped into the woman walking along the path in front of me.

“Sorry,” I said, as I went to step around her, instead freezing when she halted and I noticed who it was – Lori.

She looked different to when I’d seen her at Nexus. Her hair was much shorter and darker and I wouldn’t have recognised her if we hadn’t unintentionally locked eyes.

“. Hi. Urgh, how are you?” She seemed nervous, probably just as stunned at bumping into me as I was her.

“Hi L-Lori,” her unexpected presence after just hearing from Lucas sent a swirl of panic through me and my voice betrayed my pseudo-confidence. I was glad I was holding the tray to avoid her noticing the slight tremor in my hands.

“What are you doing around here?” She asked. “You just missed my brother actually. He will be upset to have missed you,” her eyes darted around, almost as though she were worried.

That made two of us.

Why was I so stupidly brazen, coming to get breakfast alone, especially when I received that strange message only yesterday.

“I…ummm,” I didn’t know how to respond and my chest tightened as I drew in a couple of deep breaths, looking out to the horizon for an answer. My hands were clammy and I squeezed the paper bag tighter in an attempt to ground myself.

An arm curled around my waist and I jumped, thinking it was Lucas but when the hand ran along my waist exactly the way I loved, I took a breath.

“I wondered where you'd snuck off too,” the familiar scent and calming timbre of Sebastian’s voice flooded me with warmth and I leaned into him, my breaths easing instantly.

Thank goodness. The relief was palpable. The tight knot in my chest loosening.

Lori’s eyes flicked from Seb back to me, her expression unreadable. With no intention of introducing the two I took the opportunity to escape.

“Sorry, Lori, we have to get going,” I held up my still full hands as if in explanation and Seb jumped on board, taking the bags and tray of drinks before leading me away.

He didn’t speak as we covered the short distance back, only kissing me on the top of my head, somehow knowing I was on the edge. My head was spinning and I flicked off my shoes and let out a deep breath when we stepped into his apartment.

I am okay. I am safe. Sebastian is here.

After putting the bags on the bench, he came back to where I was still standing in the entryway, breathing through what just happened. He reached his arms out, ready to bring me into his embrace, but I held my hands out to stop him as I worked myself out of the spiral that was on the verge of forming.

I had come too far to let her send me into one and I needed to bring myself back to earth on my own. I traced a circle in my palm with my thumb listening to the soft sounds of the music Seb left playing while he came in search of me.

“When you’re ready, babe, I’m here to listen,” his voice was close but not in my space and the rush of adoration shocked my mind until he became my focus.

God, he was a good man.

I nodded, acknowledging I heard him as my breathing returned to normal.

When I felt steady enough to move I reached for his hand and walked into the kitchen where our breakfast was waiting. My appetite was gone, but I forced myself to pick at an almond croissant as we sat at the island.

“You came looking for me?” I asked curiously.

“When you weren’t in bed I freaked out a little. Perhaps it was a little eager of me,” I smiled softly at his honesty. He was so cute.

“That was the woman you saw at my club the first night we met, yeah?”

“Yes,” I answered, pausing to have a sip of my coffee, “Lori. She is Lucas’ sister. I’m glad you came though because I was sweating bullets and about to freak out right in front of her. I thought about throwing the coffee at her and bolting, but that seemed a little dramatic, TBH,” he grinned his big crooked smile before engulfing me.

“The TBH is back,” his chest rumbled with laughter, getting louder when I tapped his back admonishingly.

“I can’t be held accountable for that right now, I am rattled.”

“Okay, but only this time.”

I wanted to tell him about the text message, explain why seeing Lori triggered me the way it did, but I couldn’t continue to be a burden when things were so new and perfect. This morning proved how much of a mess I was and I hated being the girl with baggage when he craved structure and organisation. I wasn’t even sure how he coped when his world was chaotic and would hate to be the cause. Although, it didn’t sit well that I was keeping this from him, especially when I knew he would likely be nothing other than supportive. The back and forth was confusing to say the least, but the fear of losing him won out and I remained tight lipped, for now.

Leaning over me he reached for his piccolo, taking a sip and quickly scrunching his face.

“Karla is a lovely woman but she has nothing on me. I’m making us another.”

“Good, then I’ll have two. We have another thirteen pastries to eat anyway because I couldn’t decide.”

His laughter as he nodded knowingly melted the last of my lingering panic and we settled into conversation as we devoured far too many sweets on an otherwise empty stomach.