Page 13

Chapter Twelve

Hightailing it to my room, I grabbed the wall to avoid tripping over the open suitcase and raced to the mirror.

Shit. Shit. What in the unexpected dinner date was happening?

Hair – luscious as all heck, if I did say so myself – check.

Face – no stray snot or leftover sauce from lunch – check.

Outfit – a little daggy given I wore them to work, but could be worse – check.

Praise be for those small wins because not much else was going for me right about now.

“You had the entire elevator ride to share that little piece of information, Arnabelle, but instead, you spent the time gushing about your new fucking eyebrow gel,” I mumbled as I swiped my finger under each eye and coated my lips in some clear balm.

The only thing saving her from imminent death, was as we walked away from the table she'd told me he invited himself over. Adding that Andy hadn’t ever seen him go out of his way for any other woman before. Both insights which sent my heart thumping quickly in my chest.

And of course before knowing this, I’d gone and blabbered about my day like an excitable child who'd just been gifted their very first toy. I needed to shower, get changed, perhaps put on a bra which pushed the twins up rather than the $4.50 grocery store disaster I was wearing. But dinner was literally ready, so looking at myself one last time and hoping he didn’t mind eye bags, I headed back to the dining table, saggy, sad bra included.

Schooling my features into a mask of indifference, hoping that my giddiness didn't reflect on my face, I headed for the only empty space at the table. The seat right next to the man of the hour. The man who starred in every single one of my dreams since the game last weekend and with the way he was assessing me now, probably would again tonight.

Arna, in the way only a best-friend could, began chattering the second I sat down.

“So Marls, did the new doorman ask you out again or has he finally taken the hint?” She continued eating, not looking up from her plate and I felt Sebastian still next to me.

This bitch.

Putting the salad tongs down, I tried to telepathically tell her I was going to bite into every single piece of liquorice she had in the cupboards. “He actually did. I said no, but I did tell him my name was Arna, sooooo–”

I couldn’t even finish my sentence, my giggles breaking free when Andy’s eyes widened and he choked on his beer. Arna patted him on the back, sheepishly looking my way and calling me a cow, which only made me laugh more.

Sebastian began eating again but I felt his eyes on me and glanced towards him. Amusement laced his expression and while his brows were scrunched, his smile was genuine.

Conversation came easy and I found myself enjoying listening to Seb talk about Nexus. It sounded like the club kept him fairly busy, which made sense. It was one of the more popular places for nightlife and while he was humble in his boasting, he’d mentioned being tired more than a couple of times.

Arna’s phone rang, halting our conversation, Queeny’s name filling the screen and she excused herself from the table.

“Tell Nan I said hi and I'll send her those pictures later,” I called to her retreating form as Andy eyed me with a raised brow.

“Don't ask,” I added. We all knew how hilariously outlandish Queeny was and Andy's face only cemented his assumption that sending pictures to her was never going to be of anything even remotely appropriate. He was of course correct, but I wouldn't confirm nor deny. Queeny was the matriarch of us all and we were her dutiful servants. It would also be self-incriminating to elaborate further given the pictures in question were coming from his phone and were of the unknowing man sitting beside me.

All of which I kept hidden behind spoonfuls of dinner. Thankfully, they moved to talking about what Jay was up to since his retirement. Conveniently allowing me the perfect opportunity to really take Seb in under the guise of listening. I nodded when I felt it was polite, but I was more focused on the way his deep brown facial hair lined his jaw and how large his biceps looked in the long sleeve black shirt he was wearing.

I wondered if I would be able to smell the heady scent that had haunted my being if I leaned in a little closer. If his arms would contract if I gripped his forearms. I occasionally glanced towards Andy so I didn’t give total creep vibes, but I was finding it harder and harder to look away from Sebastian.

I spent my entire hour with Suzie this week discussing what happened at the Hearts game and she was particularly keen to unpack why I hadn’t automatically agreed to dinner let alone reached out in the days since, especially when I’d stated emphatically that I was interested.

To her. Not him. I wasn’t an entirely new woman just yet.

Suzie encouraged me to message him and listened patiently when I expressed fears around trust and the cycle of abuse. She also listened while I rambled about the things I’d heard Andy recount which only attested to someone who was trustworthy and loyal. I recognised the strength I was gaining each day and realised being near Sebastian gave me a determination to start over. I didn’t understand why he was able to get me to want things out of my comfort zone, but he did. And it was something I was keen to explore.

Being around him also made me feel things I hadn’t ever felt and I gazed down to where our thighs were touching, how slight my legs looked next to the thick thighs he had tucked under those pants. I thought about the olive hint to his skin highlighting how pale I was despite trying to chase the sun whenever I could. The buzz which ran through me when his hand accidentally grazed my own or the very noticeable bulge which was casually staring at me from under the table.

Good lord.

He shifted slightly in his chair, eyes remaining on Andy as he put the smallest amount of distance between us, for his sake or mine I wasn’t sure. But when he began rolling his sleeves up to his forearms I pushed the chair back hastily and excused myself. Too much.

Tattooed, veiny forearms were my undoing. Accompanying drool be damned, that image would be at the forefront of my mind tonight.

Near jogging straight into my ensuite, I splashed some much needed water on my face.

“Get it together!” I self-reprimanded. His presence threw me off kilter and I was sweating in places I didn’t even realise had pores. Visibly flushed, and definitely not just from the fishbowl sized glass of wine I was drinking to calm my nerves, I couldn’t be near him without feeling this dull sense of longing.

I hadn’t yet mentioned the return of my libido to Suzie, thinking this wasn't something I needed to dissect with someone I was also paying. My sex-drive had never been super-high. Once a week was enough to satisfy me. It was something that should have been normal, especially for someone my age, but at times I wondered if there was something wrong especially when I lost all desire as I lost any attraction to Lucas.

But even before I met Lucas, it was nothing even close to what I felt now. I heard about people who loved nothing more than finding someone to spend the night with as often as possible, but it wasn't high on my priority list. Until now.

Realising I was crossing the line into too long of a bathroom break, I exited my room a fraction calmer than when I entered. Rounding the corner into the hallway, I smacked headfirst into a solid, warm and very delectable smelling chest. Before I could stumble backwards, those arms from earlier encased and steadied me and I felt the whispers of breath as Sebastian spoke into my ear.

“I wondered where you disappeared to.” Shivering, I looked up and into his rich hazel eyes. I could hear Arna telling Andy about the conversation with Queeny in the next room and a sharp thrill ran through me at the knowledge that we were alone.

Looking at his jaw to avoid his penetrating gaze, I mustered every ounce of courage to provide him a truth.

“I needed air. When I’m near you, I can’t think straight,” my heart was racing and I opened and closed my hands, settling them against his chest. My cheeks were warm and I knew if I could see my face, they would be bright red.

He spoke softly, careful not to draw attention to us as voices from the other room continued.

“Ever since I met you, I haven’t been able to think straight and it’s driving me crazy.” His admission shocked me and I flicked my eyes up, meeting his heated gaze.

“Huh!”

Huh? Intelligent, Marls .

He still held me against his body, despite my apparent inability to articulate words, pulling me into him a little tighter and the bulge that sent me racing for fresh air only a few minutes ago, pressed firmly into my stomach. My breathing quickened and he moved his hands down to my lower back, holding me as he buried himself into my neck.

“I want nothing more than to take you into that bathroom and show you how hard you make me. But with all the noises you make, I doubt you would be able to stay quiet.” I grabbed hold of his shirt, his words affecting me in ways that I was definitely going to need to satisfy later.

Our eyes locked as he gazed down to my mouth.

Please let him kiss me.

His lips were begging me to taste them and I was ready this time. Ready to see if he would taste as I imagined.

I hadn’t considered being with anyone else since I left Lucas, but I’d been hard pressed thinking of anything else since I first met Sebastian.

I followed the deep outer brown of his eyes and admired the way they moved into a darkish hazel mirroring the gaze of what I found out today was a panther on his forearm. Urgh. Those forearms. I wonder if he would let me snap a quick photo to stare at later tonight. Or if I could just pause this moment for a second, skol a couple of glasses of wine and return to his arms with a liquid composure.

I’d never felt such a fierce and instant connection and the realisation clawed up my throat, a panic desperate for oxygen.

I was a mess.

I carried more baggage than a passenger aircraft and here he was with his divine muscles, delicious smelling body and completely normal life. If he kissed me I would be done for and I’d be inflicting a broken mess onto him.

“You don’t want this,” I whispered, my words a soft gush of air meant for him or myself, I didn't know.

“What if I do?” he murmured. His answering question heated with a desperation amplified by the way his fingers laced into my hair.

“I’m damaged,” I added truthfully, startling myself a little with my unfiltered honesty.

His narrowed gaze could only be described as assessing as he shook his head the slightest amount. Time felt as though it was at a stand still. His lips begged me to take them against my own, to devour him. Let him devour me.

I felt like I could have covered myself with a cold face cloth to manage the inferno that he carried through his hands and into my being. His mouth opened on the slightest part, his response on the tip of his tongue, before he searched my eyes and instead closed the gap between us, covering my mouth with his own.

All of the air left my lungs with the pure possession emanating from his kiss. One hand firmly on my lower back, the other gracefully skating up my arm before lazily wrapping itself around my neck.

I held fists full of his shirt, desperate to remain upright as he took and I gave. His touch, his taste, superior in every way and when a sound akin to a growl rumbled in his throat, I knew I was done. I was putty, his to do whatever he pleased regardless of our friends sitting less than fifteen metres away. The rush of being with him, in the middle of the hallway where we could so easily be seen, euphoric. The intensity of his tongue pressing against my own made me dizzy. Any coherent thoughts gone. At that very moment, if he asked, I would have stripped naked and let him destroy me.

But like a jolt of cold reality, a chair pushing against hardwood flooring, brought me out of the passionate embrace and back to the hallway. I jumped backwards, my hand instantly pressing against my swollen lips, my eyes wide. Correspondingly, Seb’s hands fell to his sides, the hunger in his hazels the only indication he was also affected by that cataclysmic moment.

Hastily kissing my cheek, he stepped around me with a brief wink and entered the bathroom. The sound of the faucet the only indication I wasn’t delusional and the past five minutes wasn’t in fact a dream.

Grabbing hold of the wall with one hand, I reached around the back of my neck, my skin still tingling with the heat left from his touch.

When Arna turned the corner, I somehow managed to smile and walk towards her, internally wondering what the heck just happened and how we could recreate that exact moment again.