Page 50 of Integrated (Mistress & Master of Restraint #11)
Chapter F orty-Seven
Forgoing the traditional Wagner’s Wedding March, a lone violin slowly sings a hopeful tune, drawing us toward the crescendo where Cortez and I will make our entrance onto the dais.
The loud whispers of the hundreds of guests increase the excitement, the anxiety, the wonderment. The area is strictly lit by the setting sun. We didn’t want outdoor lighting until the reception, simply because nothing is more intimate than being outdoors in the elements, just as Cortez and I first came together on this same piece of property.
Heart beating out of my chest, my children walk forward, leaving me to stand alone. This is one-hundred-percent my decision. It will be my feet that carry me toward Cortez and toward the future. No one is pressuring me, making demands, or commanding me to do this.
This is the first time in my life I make a choice without reservation.
When the music changes, and my children are no longer blocking my view, it takes everything in me not to run forward, eager to take my future and never let go.
My oldest children are no longer impeding my view, but a very large male with two little ones is blocking my intended. Tall, dark, and extremely handsome, Julio is made even more appealing to both the male and female population with the care he uses to walk his niece and nephew forward. Clad in a tuxedo similar to Zane’s, Julio looks like a walking wedding magazine advertisement.
Our twins are wearing the same apparel as their older counterparts, just sized down to their tiny proportions. MZ is trying very hard with his foot placement, picking up his little knees nice and high, like he’s marching in a parade. While Azrael, who thinks she’s a professional, prances forward, smiling at anyone who will give her the attention she seeks. Hundreds of people are making ooos and aahs at the children, bloating Azrael from the attention.
Eyes cast downward, I take a deep breath to center myself, then ease my foot forward to begin the fifteen-second journey, which will feel like an eternity. As my foot lands, I finally look up and instantly come to a halt.
I was wrong, how the expensive tuxedo made Marcus, because Cortez makes the tuxedo. No one will ever be as beguiling as Cortez when he wears form-fitted black, with a gray silk shirt open at the collar, giving me hints of that tan flesh I love to nibble.
Of all the times to get aroused, it would have to be with nearly three hundred people watching, a helluva lot of them family.
Cortez silently laughs, gray eyes glittering with happiness. That victorious grin is what made my steps falter. Walking again, I just hope my feet know where I’m going, because I cannot look away from that satisfied grin– part naughty innocence, part insecure, and brimming with love and happiness.
“Hi,” I bashfully whisper as I finally meet Cortez on the dais. The crowd laughs at me, thinking me cute.
“Hi,” Cort mouths back. Tears are swimming in his eyes already, most emotional man on the planet, and he’s all mine.
“It’s about time, yes?” Marcus loudly polls the crowd, and they go wild with shouts of ‘Hell yeah!’ and ‘Yes!’
Never one to be overly emotional, one voice rings loudly from the front row, causing my eyes to prick with tears. While quietly said, Katya’s resounding yes hits my ears louder than any word ever spoken. Katya’s gracious blessing causes me to weep.
Cortez and I turn to Marcus as one. Marcus has proven time and time again how much he loves us by his actions. A lot of people have been harmed in Marc’s quest to always give Cortez and me what we crave and need. But standing up here today, I accept how it was all worth it. And today is no different, as Marcus continues to support us in all things.
Marcus isn’t our best man, because he is more than that to us. The man has worked for two decades to lead Cortez and me into the life we were destined to live. He deserves nothing short of being the one with the honor of joining us.
We are blessed Judge Marcus Zeitler presides over our nuptials. Working the crowd with his honest yet mischievous smile, Marcus eloquently gives the speech he’s prepared a lifetime to give. Not that I hear a word of it, since I cannot look away from the mirror to my soul.
Cort and I gaze at one another as we wait our turn to mutter the words we’ve each said before. A lifetime plays out in both our minds: playing, laughing, crying, hurting, and loving… always at each other’s sides.
My first memory is of Cortez. We were younger than our four-year-old twins. In this very lawn, running around, chasing each other. My legs were longer than Cort’s, and he was clumsy. Always falling down, I’d jog back and help Cort to his feet, only to run off again so he’d chase after me. It was a game we played for as long as I can remember. I’d run, he’d chase after me. Always. My memory is the first time I said to Cortez how he’d never catch me, a phrase I’ve said many a time over our childhood. It was in our late teens when I stopped running, because I needed Cortez to finally catch me. But then he started to run in the opposite direction, making it impossible for me to ever catch him.
…and that is when I realized I couldn’t live without him.
It was cheating, trying to let Cortez catch me before he earned it, before I earned it. That’s why it never worked… until now.
Love is never about running and chasing– the thrill of the hunt.
Love is about running toward one another for comfort, acceptance, guidance, and support.
In a daze, Cortez and I repeat the vows we’ve both made to another. Cortez to Divina in their cathedral fourteen years ago. Me to Katya in our old apartment at The Edge Building almost five years ago. Then again, up here on this very dais, vows spoken to Katya and Cortez during our commitment ceremony.
Making these vows to other people, then breaking them, should lessen the commitment we now make. But strangely, it doesn’t diminish this epic moment.
“Cortez and Ezra wanted to share a few words with us before I pronounce this as official,” Marcus announces to Shadow Haven’s guests. “Being that this is Cortez and Ezra we are talking about, perhaps you should close your little ones’ ears, and your own if you’re easily offended.
I sputter, while Cortez rolls his eyes at Marcus. As if.
“Cortez,” Marcus prompts a beaming Cort.
That victorious grin makes a reappearance, warming my belly, while keeping me on the edge of uncomfortable arousal. Cort whispers in a taunting, flirty voice. “I finally caught you, Ez.”
A rumble of happy laughter pours from my throat, shocked how the most romantic man I’ve ever met gave me snark as his final vow.
Not to be outdone by my almost-husband, I shock Cortez in return. Instead of saying something cerebral, I go with the emotional.
“You are my life,” I reverently breathe.
…and if Cortez’s reaction doesn’t make me feel like the man, I don’t know what ever would. Gray eyes dilate, tears spilling freely down his cheeks, it’s the smile that weakens my knees and manages to cleanse my soul, almost as much as it fills me with hope.
“By the power vested in me by the State of New York, I finally pronounce you husband and husband!” Marcus grandly announces. “And it’s about damn time too… You may kiss your groom,” he demands with great amusement.
We fly over the two-foot span separating us. The kiss is gentle, a meeting of lips upon lips. While the touch is gentle, the emotions are fierce, reverent, raw and real. I didn’t think it was possible to feel so many emotions at once. Crying, laughing, smiling, all the while kissing, Cortez and I are exuberant in our union.
Forehead resting upon forehead, Cortez takes my New Year’s resolution to a whole ‘nother level, relentlessly teasing me. “Mad props to the state of New York for being so deviant. Same-sex marriage and first-cousin unions not considered incest are the best. Gotta love a state who appreciates its naughtier denizens.”
We’re laughing for no other reason than just feeling happy. “Twit.” All I can do is stare at Cortez from an inch away, our foreheads, noses, and chins touching. Our lips are a hairsbreadth away, breath fluttering and tickling the other’s mouth. Cort’s eyes are heavy lidded, eyelashes casting perfect half-moon shadows on his cheeks.
Devastatingly gorgeous and all mine.
Forever.
“It is with my greatest pleasure to announce Dr. and Mr. Zeitler!” Marcus grandly sings to the crowd, arms spread in a wide arc.
Upon hearing the words, our new reality settles and takes root. “Holy shit! I’m your husband.” My voice wavers with shock. “You’re my husband.”
My heart skips a beat, and before it beats again, I have my husband in my arms… and I could deny I said all mine before I took Cortez’s lips in a searing kiss, but that would be a lie.
Cort’s delighted laughter is music to my ears, I’ll hear ringing for all eternity.