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Faith was pregnant with Zane when she and her family moved back into The Green Building. This is the building Stanton and Caleb grew up in. I had actually been here as a kid for Caleb’s birthday parties and when we’d have celebratory pizza feasts after a soccer win. Before Cort kicked a soccer ball into Caleb’s face for being my buddy, we even had a few sleepovers. I didn’t dare take Caleb up on the invitation after the soccer incident, because Cort would have frozen me out.

After Bianca was born, Stanton pulled everyone from this building and moved them to the slums. I hadn’t realized at the time that Stanton was protecting his family from the founders, using the criminal element as a second layer of defense, like an extra nasty security system with guns and knives that had no issue wielding them.

With Faith being the Game Master, Stanton and the gang moved back home after years of living the rough life. The day they moved back in is the day I started visiting. It was a few weeks after my abduction. Master Ez was riding me– being extremely possessive, we had to check up on Faith.

It was a difficult time for me. I knew the budding baby in Faith’s belly was mine, but I truly hadn’t remembered creating him. The half of me that was Ezra was adamant that it wasn’t true– sickened actually. Half of me was always pissed that the other half could cheat on Cortez.

It made sense to me, but it was a head-trip for everyone else.

Just as I did that first night, I simply unlock the door and let myself in as if it’s my home. Caleb gave me a key when we were younger, and it was years later before Faith realized I wasn’t breaking in. She changed the locks, never knowing how I got into the apartment in the first place.

No matter how many times Faith changed the locks to keep me out, Julio would supply me with a fresh set of keys. As Zane’s manny, Julio felt a father and son should be able to spend quality time together.

It was a tremendous amount of fun having the residents of Stanton Green’s home thinking I was the great Houdini. Faith just said the hell with it, ignoring that I came and went as I pleased.

No one knows the truth but Julio and me.

Zane’s bedroom is the same one Caleb used when we were kids. I knew exactly where those windows faced, making sure my apartments and offices at Edge were in view. I loved knowing I could get the binoculars out and see my child asleep in his bed.

I was in Zane’s physical presence once a night, but I needed more reassurance by being able to see him from my home. My son being no-schooled meant I could look out and catch sight of him while I was at work. It was the only thing that made the crippling anxiety dissipate.

“Hey,” is a groggy whisper from Zane as I slip into his bedroom.

Zane’s tucked in a nest, just the thick mass of white curls sticking out of his fuzzy blanket. I gingerly sit on his mattress, trying not to jostle him completely awake. Most nights, Zane sleeps through my visits. Other times, he’s partially awake to mumble some nonsense, then falls back to sleep.

Since last May, when everything collapsed, I had feared Faith, Wil, or Stanton would kick me out of here. Stripping me of Shadow Haven was horrific, but not being able to touch my son would have killed me. Set adrift, I needed to see Zane more than ever.

No one believed me when I said I didn’t harm Dominion, Faith volleying back how maybe it was Master Ez or Ezra, and they were shielding me from the truth. But down to my soul, I knew I hadn’t done what I was accused, because I had neither the time nor the inclination.

I made Stanton a promise that I would never make a game play without consulting him first, my reward unlimited daytime hours with Zane, whether Faith wanted me to or not. Now that I can see Zane whenever, he sleeps through my nightly visits.

It’s a relief that Faith and Wil agreed to allow visitation, but the biggest boon is the birth certificate. Knowing he’s my son, but not having it legally binding, that harmed our relationship on many fronts.

Fingertips lingering over the top of Zane’s head, I ache to touch but know it’s not a good idea. I always thought my son hated touch, never knowing it was the increase of emotions that plagued him. Hearing the pain in Zane’s voice when he told Cortez he was lonely, because no one ever touched him, it hurt my heart.

I am thankful Zane has people he trusts with the truth, people who can freely touch him without causing him undo pain. Innocent, clear-conscience people who don’t harm him– Torian, Cortez, and Zane’s siblings. But it saddened me to know that I am pure chaos for my son. I can empathize with Faith, knowing exactly how she feels, because she upsets Zane as well.

“Dad?” Sleep slurred mumbles flow from the nest of blankets. “You can rub my back, if ya want.” Sometimes it’s like the boy can read my mind. Then the worry creeps in, fearing Zane is trying to comfort me at his own expense. “You feel good in my mind tonight– clearer than ever. You almost feel like Cort does.”

Smiling to myself, I’m amazed at the intimacy Zane has with everyone. While he may not know the exact thoughts in my mind, he senses how I long to touch him, and how much it hurts that I cannot.

After lowering myself to the mattress, I lay behind my son. Moving slowly to give Zane time to acclimate to my presence, I hesitantly touch his t-shirt-clad back. Swirling my palm in a circle, this is how Zane and I cuddle. I’ve always rubbed his back while we talked or while I sang him to sleep.

“You’re a very private kid.” I marvel over the fact that this intriguing human being was created by Faith and me. “I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you to be so intimately connected to everyone you come into close contact with. Feeling a complete stranger in your mind must be difficult, like everyone is encroaching on your personal space, and they don’t even realize it.”

“It’s why I try to stick to home. Pop doesn’t allow anyone in Green except for family– you know what I mean by family,” he mutters cryptically, meaning cartel associates. “I’ve always known them, so I don’t mind. If they knew I felt everything they felt, they would feel violated. I’d turn it off if I could, but I can’t.”

“I’m sorry, Zane.” I don’t need my son’s gifts to sense how distraught he is, and it kills me that I can’t fix this for him. “It’s probably my fault somehow. Your mom isn’t the most rational person, but I win the prize for the most fucked in the head. I’m sure you inherited this from me.”

“This is my normal. I don’t know any differently, so I can’t say if it bothers me or not. If certain people realized I can sense how they secretly hate or lust or love other certain people, they would be wicked pissed.”

“Holy shit, I never thought of the implications.” Chucking darkly, I’m shocked my son joins me, the tone in his voice identical to mine.

“Couple crushes going around would hurt other people’s feelings.” Zane mutters cryptically, but I don’t ask. If he wanted me to know, he’d tell me. Respect between us. “Knowing when someone is lying is useful. But the deep, dark secrets, not so much.”

“There’s great responsibility with your gift.” Fingertips caressing Zane’s curls, I try to comfort him the best I can. “Someone like me would exploit it. But you’re ethical, respecting their privacy. You’re a good person, Zane.”

One advantage, there’s no need for me to elaborate, because Zane can sense it. It makes life both easier and more complicated.

“The Christmas meeting was interesting– I could sense their lies and emotions.”

“Yet you keep your mouth shut. It’s a good thing you’re a quiet kid, because speaking the truth could harm you.” Fear eclipses my voice. Drawing closer to my son, I press my chest to his back. Holding him tightly, I cross my forearms over his stomach.

Highly tactile, Zane begins fluttering his fingertips over the hair on my arms. “I’m– I’m not really quiet,” he murmurs in the dark. To my utter shock, he snuggles closer to me. “Torian calls me a blabbermouth, and everyone thinks he’s being sarcastic.” Zane releases a bubbling of naughty chuckles, causing warmth to bloom in my heart.

“It’s instinct. I have to be quiet, because I might mess up and say something I shouldn’t. They’ll avoid me if they know, or worse, they’ll feel violated and betrayed. They don’t have to say anything mean to me, because I can feel they think me a freak.”

“It hurts in the short-term,” I offer as consolation. “But you’ll avoid the long-term hurts. It’s impossible for some girl to use you and dump you afterward. There is that. You never have to fear rejection, because you’ll know instantly if you should ask your crush out. You’re way lucky, and even though it makes you feel raw, you’re way cool.”

“Dad, no one talks like that anymore. You’re aging yourself.” Zane pulls out the dramatics, even though I can’t see him do it, I just know he’s employing Faith’s patented eye roll.

“I’m a dad. I’m not supposed to be cool .” I purposefully twist the very un-cool word.

“You’re cool.” Fingertips braceleting my wrists, my son holds me tightly. “What’s gross is how I know Pop wants to marry a certain someone. Uncle Caleb has a crush that would piss you off. I don’t like sensing how Daddy craves people who aren’t Mom. He feels guilty about it. Mom’s feelings would be hurt, and I don’t want to be put in the middle where I have to tell her he wants and loves her more than anyone. There is so much no one should ever hear. I refuse to break their trust, so I keep quiet.”

“I’m sorry you have to deal with that.” Holding Zane as tightly as possible, I can’t fathom how lonely he must feel. Do the benefits outweigh the costs? Zane will never know the excitement and anticipation of wooing a crush, because he will know exactly how she feels about him. No child should ever know how their parents feel about one another.

Not only does Zane know Wil lusts after men, he knows which ones. Worse, Zane can sense his mother’s pain over not being Wil’s one and only. I’ve heard stories, but I’ve been kept in the dark, because it’s none of my business. During counseling, Dalton talks about Wil. There are some things people can’t heal from, changing them on a fundamental level. It’s not about loving Faith enough, or respecting her enough, or wanting her enough– Wil has had to change how he views the world in order to survive, and it doesn’t fit into society’s standards.

Zane should never have to deal with any of that.

“The worst– ugh!” Turning animated, Zane is channeling his mother right now. I cannot help but smile over how amazing of a creature this boy turned out to be. “Torian is horny nonstop, driving me nuts!”

“Wow…” I drawl out, impressed. Unable to stop myself, I chuckle over the trials and tribulations of being a hormonal teenage boy with an emotional Geiger counter in residence. How mortifying for both of them. “I should apologize for all the meetings you had to sit through as I watched Cort like a lovelorn idiot.”

“I didn’t mind because Cort was doing the same thing.” Zane dismisses my fears. “What’s the sickest?” Zane takes a deep breath, then sighs it out in a rush, just as I’m known to do. Lips curling into a smile against the top of his curls, I adore how my son picked up that habit from me. “I know– I know when… when Pop, Daddy, or Torian is taking care of business. Just like I know Mom and Daddy aren’t sleeping right now. It’s really disgusting. I never want to have sex.”

Within my embrace, Zane shudders in revulsion. Shocked at the revelation, I end up huffing out a sharp laugh– no doubt everyone who is awake heard me. Still laughing, I spend a few moments imagining how my son must feel.

“Unreal,” is whispered in awe. Curiosity killed the cat. I’m intrigued by anything and everything that’s not my business. God was wise not to give me the gift my son has, because I would become immersed in everyone’s lives, never having one of my own. The power, the knowledge, it would corrupt me further.

Unable to help myself, I just have to ask. “So who’s doing what right now?”

“Hmm… let’s see.” I can almost feel Zane concentrating on everyone’s emotions. I want to ask him what his range is, but I don’t want to distract him.

“Tori is excited and frustrated. I know he’s not doing what you’d expect, because he’s always relaxed when he does that. I’d say he’s playing Xbox. There’s some guesswork to this empathy bullshit– it’s not an exact science.”

“Oh, no doubt.” This has always been a topic we don’t breach, because I respected Zane’s privacy. The fact that he’s being so open with me now, it makes the gift he’s giving me that much greater.

“Practice makes perfect. I’ve had fifteen years to put a name to the sensations they feel, so I’m pretty accurate with our family. Pop is definitely asleep. He was exhausted earlier. He’s passed out cold now.”

“No sleepover for Stanton.” Poor guy.

“He’s asleep– I didn’t say he was sleeping alone.” That attitude– Faith should be so proud. “Um… Mom and Daddy, they’re doing something they usually don’t, but it’s naughty. Lust and anger are hot in my head, and neither is angry right now. But there’s no mushy shit, so I know it’s not… normal stuff like usual.”

Kink?

Faith and kink? She’s old-school missionary position sex. She saves the bloodletting and pain-dealing as another type of release.

“You’re skeeved out right now, aren’t you?” Such juicy gossip– Cort would be zinging around the room, begging for more. Even I’m excited enough to cut our visit short, just so I can peek into Faith and Wil’s bedroom before I leave.

“Just don’t let them know you saw. Daddy might think it was funny, but Mom would be a bitch about it.” Zane warns, accurately sensing the direction of my thoughts.

“My stalking skills are on point.” Mission accomplished– I make my son giggle.

“It’s easier when I know the person. I put the emotion with the behavior, and I can accurately guess what they’re doing. But with a stranger, right now I’d just know they’re moments away from–” shuddering, and acting as if it makes him sick, Zane squeezes my fingers. “–getting off. You better hurry if you want to catch them before the finale.”

“Oh, shit!” I gasp out, hopping off Zane’s bed, comforted that my son knows exactly how I operate and loves me anyway. “Sorry, but this is too interesting to miss. I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you!” I quickly call out as I flee the room.

Zane’s amused laughter follows me down the hallway toward Faith and Wil’s bedroom.

The door is slightly ajar, which is perfect for me. Hmm… well, well, well, what do we have here? I want to do that naughty trick to Cortez .

Halogen eyes meet my impressed stare through the crack in the doorway, but Wil looks away, lest I’d be caught. The slight satisfied curl to his lips informs me Wil is a kinky bastard who doesn’t want Faith to know I’m spying.

Muscular body sheened in sweat, covered in tattoos just like both his wife and brother, Wil is a sight I’ve never seen before. Leviticus Wilson is more private than Faith, and she’s downright modest to a prudish degree.

I’m honored that Wil doesn’t freak out and sound the alarm. If anything, he gets turned on more by me playing voyeur. Lord knows, he’s probably watched me far too many times to count.

Turnabout is fair play.

Lying on the bed facing me, Wil’s ass is raised off the mattress by a few pillows shoved underneath. The ink-covered landscape of Faith’s back is turned toward me as she kneels between Wil’s upraised thighs.

I can’t see her face, but Faith is in my line of sight. Naked and vulnerable, she services Wil. I can tell by the way her shoulders tighten and relax, she’s moving her hands in tandem– one stroking Wil’s cock, while the other is impaling his ass with several fingers.

Faith is milking both Wil’s cock and prostate, much to his delight, I might add, judging by the way he groans and writhes on the mattress. Knowing exactly what he’s experiencing, I can’t help feel but envious, wishing to feel it too.

“I’m close!” Wil’s sharp grunt of warning is either meant for me or Faith– maybe both.

I leave, because as much fun as it is to watch them play , it is a very private and intimate act between the married couple. I’m a selfish bastard, but I won’t intrude on something so very personal.

…gave me a fun idea for later, though.