Page 85 of Insolence (Eisha’s Hidden Codices #1)

El

I check on Tiss before heading to bed, a jar brimming with thousand-petal roses in hand.

As quietly as I can, I let myself into her rooms. She’s sleeping soundly, and I linger, watching her. Her breathing comes rhythmic and soft. Her fingers twitch. After setting the roses on her night table, the temptation to touch her is too great.

I can’t stop myself from brushing away a strand of hair that’s stuck to her bottom lip.

“Mmm…” she rouses slightly.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” I whisper, backing up. Guilt washes over me. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

I’m backing away, trying not to make noise, when she rubs sleep from her eyes.

“I love you so much, El,” she whispers. “You know that, right?”

My heart explodes into a riot of glory. “Oh, Tiss. I love you too, sweetheart. So damn much.”

“I’m mad at you, though.” Her forehead puckers.

I freeze. “Well. It’s been an emotional day. You’ve every right to be. But we can talk things through more tomorrow. Try and get back to sleep now.”

The fire crackles in the other room. Something nags at me… Something intangible and bothersome.

Her eyes lock onto mine in the dim light. “Why am I mad at you, El?”

“You know why.” I tilt my head. “We had a long talk about it earlier. But I thought we worked things through.”

Her aura is neutral at the moment—invisible. Strange. Almost as unsettling as whatever’s nagging at me. “No. I don’t.” Her voice breaks, cracked with sleep. “Why don’t I know why I’m mad at you? I can’t… I can’t quite…”

And this is now officially concerning.

“You’re still trying to wake up.” I force levity into my words, although I don’t know whether it’s for her benefit or mine. “Were you dreaming just now?”

“I— I don’t know.” She flails at the blankets, trying to sit upright.

The nagging is stronger now. I don’t know what it is, and I can’t tell if it belongs to me or her.

Whatever it is, it’s big, and it’s very, very wrong .

She allows me to help ease her into a sitting position, but she’s jumpy at my touch. Pulling away, she stares as if she’s never seen me before. Grabs her onyx pendant.

Her aura flares to life, a deep crimson streaked with flashes of blue. “I’m so angry , El. Why am I so angry?”

Oh, goddess help me. “Sweetheart,” I say, forcing myself to remain calm, even as dread shoots through my limbs, “you’re angry because I lied to you about being a Succubus. Because I—”

Her breathing kicks up. Becomes erratic. “W-what is a Succubus?”

Air leaves my lungs. No, no, NO.

It takes every shred of effort I can muster to steady my tone. “What happened after I left? Can you remember?”

“What do you mean?”

I swallow. Try again: “When’s the last time you saw me before now?”

“Last night, I think. Did we—” Her eyes flash to mine. “Did we have sex ?” One hand flies to her head. “Gods. I’ve got a splitting headache. It was dull a second ago, but now it feels like red-hot coals funneled into my skull.”

I stumble backward. Collapse onto her chest, slumping against the wall. “Did the prioress come in here, Tiss?”

“I think so.” Her brow furrows.

“Think so or know so?”

She blinks, breathing out a pained moan. “Yes. She was here.”

“Did she do anything to you? Give you any medicine?”

“I woke up with a cloth pressed over my nose,” she blurts, turning my blood to ice. “It was her holding it there. It reeked of rotten rose petals.”

FUCK. ME. WHY?

“She surprised me. I think I tried to fight her off, but— Shit .” Tiss whimpers from the pain, massaging her temples. “I got dizzy. Weak and sick feeling.”

My lungs constrict, doubling me over. My ribs might as well be collapsing into my chest cavity.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice comes as if through a tunnel. “Are you all right?”

It’s a chore to fucking breathe. All I can do is focus on the solid form of the wooden chest beneath me. The position of my feet on a floor that wants to tilt out from under me.

The room lurches like it’s trying to throw me off the top of this miserable fucking mountain. I groan.

“Leave,” she says. “You’re scaring me. I don’t want you here. I don’t know what’s happening and I think… I don’t trust you.” The last part is a strained hiss.

White spots dance in front of me. I can’t decide if I want to scream or cry or tear through this building on a murderous rampage.

Bewildered, she stares while I stand on wobbly legs.

“There is no universe in which I don’t keep you safe,” I say, knowing she has no idea what I’m talking about.

“I love you with all my heart, Tiss. I will help you remember us and yourself all over again, if that’s what I need to do.

I’ll help you fall in love with me again and again.

As many times as it takes. Forever, if need be. ”

“Get out,” she whispers. Watches me intently. Cautiously.

I’m as good as a crazed animal, mistakenly wandered into her rooms.

My hands are numb and my feet are wooden as I turn to leave. Grabbing the wall on the way out, I fight to stay upright, knowing by morning the poison will be settled.

She’ll no longer know who I am. Again.

Her soft crying filters from the bedroom, washing over me with a strange bluntness.

That’s when the realization clobbers me, the truth of it flaying me open. Grinding salt into an open wound. I stop cold, a foot from her door, hand outstretched.

The nagging isn’t something that belongs to either of us. It’s the absence of that something, instead.

Our bond is completely gone. Broken, as if it never existed. Only a blank vacuum of nothingness stretches between us now, and a gaping hole lives inside me where our soul-tie was once rooted.

To be continued…