Page 75 of Insolence (Eisha’s Hidden Codices #1)

Elodie

B ibi kraa s softly from the canopy frame.

A comforting hand goes to my shoulder. Brows knitting together, Maida doesn’t say anything at first. “Well, that doesn’t seem so bad.”

Heaving a sigh, I wish I could leave her in blissful ignorance. Wish I didn’t have to tell her the things I’m about to. “My memories are only the start. It gets so much worse.”

I have no choice in the matter. Not that I ever really have when it comes to Tiss. Seeing as neither of us will survive this without Maida’s help, I tell her everything—

My history with Tiss and the reason for the ritual. The fact that she’s a fucking demun who just pledged herself to the Temple of Eisha.

At first Maida denies the truth. Then weeps about it. Screams about it. When she’s finally over the initial horror, my friend stands frighteningly still at her glass balcony doors. Lips pinched into a pale line, she looks as exhausted as I feel.

“What am I going to do?” I whisper, head in my hands. My fury at Tiss is a distant memory by now. Cold fear has its fingers around my throat, and a well of hopelessness yawns in my chest.

“We pass her off,” Maida says. She watches the first blush of dawn tinge the horizon with steely resolve.

“Pass her off. Sure.” I give a sharp, dark laugh.

“Didn’t you just say you believe Deirdre to be completely Sightless?”

“Deirdre’s one thing. But how am I not going to say the wrong thing or put my foot in my mouth?

Especially around Tiss.” My hands drop. “The way she came here, Maida— goddess . She’s lost her mind.

I can’t count on her to make rational decisions anymore.

I certainly can’t put my well-being into her hands!

Or trust her to know any of what I just told you and keep calm. ”

If she lets something slip and Deirdre catches on that I still have my memories… That I know what happens to those poor girls, or that I’ve told another priestess…

Maida shrugs. “How did you survive these last four years without giving yourself away—not even to me?”

My eyes press closed. “I figured out how to deceive my brain into believing I don’t remember anything. Put a wall up between myself and my past. Refused to acknowledge it, to let myself linger on it, even for a moment. Played dumb whenever the lottery came up.”

“Then that’s what you must do.” Maida turns to me, determination flattening her expression. “As of now, your history together doesn’t exist, and you don’t know her. Which you really don’t , if her coming here in full knowledge and doing what she did is any indication!”

Easy enough until our soul-tie comes into play. Or my libido. Or my feelings. “Sure, but—”

“No buts. I’m sure she’s an entirely different person than she was before.

And if your time together was as intermittent as you say, then you might not have known her as well as you originally thought.

” Her gray eyes flash in a menacing way I’ve never seen before.

“Hear me now, Elodie. You know nothing about that girl. Nothing.”

She’s right, of course. Soul-tie, sex, and my foolish sentiments aside, Tiss is as good as a stranger to me. And perhaps she always was.

Everything I believed I knew about her, every fact I previously thought to be true, flew out the window when she declared she wished to pledge herself to the goddess. When she forced me to protect her, knowing full well the loss I must endure if I fail.

Not to mention the threat on my own life.

Maida rejoins me on the bench. Her posture remains rigid. “I suggest you make your peace with reality, dear. She’s set something into motion we can’t reverse. It’s not just your own safety on the line anymore.”

Present Day

T ime warps, sending us hurtling back. We come to, safe inside the Observatory.

Tiss gasps. Pushes herself off me. “Those were memories,” she hisses. Searches my face like she’s seen a ghost, like someone’s been butchered in front of her. “ F-flashbacks. You saw them too, right?”

“Yes. That actually happened,” I croak.

Scrambling away, her aura pulses the hideous blue-purple-black of a new bruise.

“It’s me.” She touches her chest, eyes wild.

“I’m the fucking Succubus, and you are my Thrall.

And you knew it. You’ve known everything, remembered everything this whole time.

” Pure black swirls around her, overshadowing her like the umbra of a solar eclipse.

Threatening to obliterate her completely.

I’d sit up if I could, but being drained for the first time in over four years has left me as feeble as an infant.

“Say it, Elodie!” she shrieks. “Tell me the truth for once!”

“That is the truth. You’re a demun. A Succubus.” Groping for my shirt and draping it over my naked chest takes nearly all of my remaining strength. “You made me your Thrall the first time we— The night our soul-tie was forged.”

An eerie clarity overtakes her aura, followed by pulsing crimson outrage. “How did they come back to me, Elodie? My memories?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do!” She moves closer, looking like she wants to kick me. I’m afraid she wants to kill me. “ How , Elodie?!”

“I really. Don’t. Know. Whatever dark magic Deirdre tampers with is her business. There aren’t exactly manuals to reference about it, all right?”

A noise halfway between a growl and a roar tears through her. She spins and walks away. Falls out of my line of sight and snaps, “You said you didn’t know me. Told me multiple times I wasn’t a demun!”

“And I planned to come clean eventually. When it was safe. I swear.”

“‘Eventually,’” she says, and I can picture her sneer. “My gods , do you ever love that shitty word.”

“Yeah. Well. ‘Eventually’ was the best I could do at the time.” Adrenaline hitting my bloodstream is the only reason I can haul myself into a sitting position.

The room sways around me. “This hasn’t been easy, you know.

The way you came here and foisted yourself on me.

Forced me to make a promise I didn’t know how to keep.

At every turn I’ve been scrambling to protect you from yourself.

Been gods-be-damned terrified of losing you again.

” Fingers clumsy, I fuss with my shirt. “How could I have told you anything about being a demun when there was a chance you’d discover what happens to the betrothed? ”

A sharp intake of breath comes from behind me.

“On the autumn equinox”—the words are muffled as if her fingers are clamped over her mouth—“after the Binding Ceremony. My gods, they’re taken to holding pens underground. L-locked inside—”

“At which point they’re sacrificed to the bloodthirsty, bastardized version of the goddess,” I finish. “One by one. Painfully and in front of the Five while Deirdre syphons their life-force and stores it. As ordained by the Indigo & Veridian Accords.”

The silence that fills the Observatory speaks for itself.

Neither of us elaborates that, despite the misdirection the sisters employ prior to the lottery, acolytes who don’t qualify for apprenticeship meet the same fate. Sacrificed the evening of the following year’s lottery.

Thankfully a rare occurrence. But then again, most years Maida and I aren’t passing a gods-be-damned demun off as a mage.

If Tiss remembers what happens to the betrothed, then she remembers that bit too.

Every woman in the realm knows these things. Especially changelings like us. It’s the reason behind the ritual. The reason Maida and I are scrambling to figure out an alternate plan in case Tiss doesn’t pass the exam.

“It seemed cruel to tell you upfront what’s going to happen to them.

Possibly to you .” I thread my limp arms through the shoulder straps of my brassiere.

Thank the gods this one’s front fastening.

“It isn’t savory knowledge to have when you’re fucking powerless to stop it, believe me.

And I really didn’t want to jinx anything before Maida and I had a solid plan in place to get us the hell out of here. ”

I run my hands over my face. Her claiming bite throbs on my shoulder, the intimacy it forged between us a distant memory by now. “ Goddess . This isn’t at all how I wanted to have this conversation.”

Tiss scoffs, fresh disgust hurtling at me. “We wouldn’t be having it at all if you hadn’t insisted on playing games.”

“None of this is a game to me.” I twist around, my gaze cutting to her. “You appeared out of thin air! Made a life-altering decision for both of us without so much as asking me!”

“Out of love for you,” she says, moving to stand in front of me.

“I understand that was your intent. But the impact was thoughtless, selfish, and dangerous . Not to mention your lack of self-control ever since. What the hell else was I supposed to do? What other options did you leave me? How could I divulge things when I didn’t understand who you were anymore?

” It all tumbles out. Conflicted thoughts I’ve barely dared to acknowledge drop out of me like so many merciless stones.

“The prioress will kill me if she finds out the ritual didn’t work on me.

That I know what happens to the betrothed.

If you know the rest of it, then you know that much. ”

Tiss throws her hands up. “And how would she find out? I’m not about to say anything!”

“Not on purpose. But you’ve already demonstrated how emotional you are. You’re impulsive. Unpredictable.”

“And I’ve accepted responsibility for it! I’ve been working to regulate my emotions. Didn’t you just tell me how proud of me you were?”

“Of course I’m proud of you, Tiss,” I sigh.

“But it also hasn’t been that long. Recently it seemed like you’d been reflecting on your truly wild behavior.

After you said you saw some of yourself in how Sadrie treated you, I thought you sincerely intended to change.

I’ve been starting to trust again, but—” It feels like dragging a cinder block through mud trying to get my brain and mouth to cooperate.

“Well. Now I’m thinking about all the things you haven’t said.

Behavior you still haven’t acknowledged. I’m not so sure anymore.”

She blinks, arms dangling limply at her sides. For a moment I think I see tears in her eyes. I’m waiting for her to explode again. Or break down weeping.

When her tone collapses to a quiet pitch, it’s more chilling than any hysterics. “Please just tell me how I managed to get a white fucking sphere, priestess.”

My eyes press closed. Her bite between my neck and shoulder won’t stop screaming. “Maida and I—” I comb a feeble hand through my hair. “We fixed the lottery.”

“You what ?”

“Every year she and I set up that silly drum. Pack it away. We ensure there are the same number of spheres as new initiates. This year?” I shrug.

“Well. You happened along, didn’t you? So I used the smithy to melt down Signet Silver after hours and sand cast a new sphere.

Maida Altered it herself. Over there.” I wave a hand at the small alchemy table.

At what remains of the piddling supply of silver Deirdre rations to her.

“She made sure the illusion was reversed.”

“Basic physics,” Tiss murmurs, realization dawning on her face. “The other spheres are gold.” Heavier than silver.

“You were last to arrive,” I nod. “It was almost guaranteed to be the last one left in the drum. So long as you touched it, it’d turn white.” I massage my pounding temples. “You’re welcome, by the way. For saving your impetuous life. Yet again.”

Aura blazing with a mix of fury, shame, and sorrow, she snatches up her cloak. Stalks to the door. Throwing it open with a growl, she doesn’t spare me another word or a backward glance.

It slams behind her with a booming crash that shatters me. The sob that wracks my body catches me off guard.