Page 71 of Insolence (Eisha’s Hidden Codices #1)
Love for her swelled so sharp and full within me, I was afraid I’d burst. This whole conversation was beyond surreal . Beyond my wildest hopes and my darkest fears while I sequestered myself on the train, then trudged up the mountain.
My hands on either side of her face, I finally pulled back and said, “I knew the goddess doesn’t grant ‘glimpses of the past.’”
“Yeah, well, she doesn’t grant me glimpses of the future, either. For what it’s worth.”
“How much do you remember?”
“All of it. Everything.”
“ Everything ? How is that possible?”
“Wish I could say for sure.” Her eyes darted around as if seeking answers in the room’s dark corners. “Perhaps it was a fluke, but I’ve got a gut feeling it might’ve been because I was El. At the time. It’s the only thing I can think of.”
“That makes sense. If the ritual is magically calibrated to women—to changelings—then of course it wouldn’t work when, mentally… emotionally… you weren’t one.”
“Like the night our soul-tie was forged,” she flashed a crooked grin. “When you were almost the death of me.”
More tears lancing behind my eyes, I gave a choked laugh, “That was a very educational night for both of us, all right?”
An indulgent purr rumbling from her, she went in for another kiss only to halt at the last second. “You know, you might’ve told me they planned to kill me, Tiss. Would it have been so awful to clue me in? After nearly three years together?”
“And what would you have done if I had?”
“Listened to you. Obviously.” She nuzzled into the sensitive hollow between my jaw and earlobe. “Left you well enough alone. Never seen you or sought you out again.”
“So much for your lofty promises.”
She pressed a lingering peck there, inhaling me, before kissing her way to my mouth. “I would’ve never touched you again. Never thought about you in an intimate manner as long as I lived.”
That at least pulled a laugh from me. “Oh, go off. You’re full of it.”
“I’d never dream of not continuing to contact you, Itissa. Never stop hounding you to run away with me until you acquiesced, just to shut me up.”
“I think you got that last bit backward,” I whispered.
“Did I?” She fixed me with the steely sort of glare she knew would melt me to the bone before touching her soft lips to mine. “You sure about that?”
Snorting, I pulled her closer. “Shut up and kiss me properly.”
Her mouth seized mine again, one hand threading through the hair at my nape, the other caressing my back. My tears were hot on both of our faces before I realized I was crying.
But I didn’t need to say anything. Requiring no explanation, she simply held me, rocking me and stroking my mussed hair while I wept into her neck.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I sniveled, my hands balled in her dress. “I should never have left you. I never wanted any of this. I thought I was protecting you for gods’ sakes.”
“Shh. I know, sweetheart.” She offered her handkerchief. “You didn’t mean for this to happen. It’s all right.”
When my tears finally ran dry, we took our seats at the table. “So why are you here, Tiss? What do you think you’re doing ?”
“I came to rescue you.”
It was her turn to snort. “I’m serious, sweetheart. What the hell’s going on?”
“It’s true! I’m here to take you away. We’ll leave together. Go to Ariter, just like you said the last time we were together.”
“No, beautiful.” She blinked, disappointment flashing through her features. “That's never going to work. It’s not the same thing at all.”
“How isn’t it the same thing? I’ve got plenty of money. Tell them you’re showing me around the temple grounds, and we’ll just—”
“Slip away into the mountain mists?”
“Why not?” I huffed, feeling terribly foolish all of a sudden.
“Because they’re not going to let me show you around the temple grounds.
Look around you, Tiss. This is a prison, not a garden party.
You know this.” Leaning back in her chair, her eyes narrowed in thought.
“Escaping a place like this takes time. Resources other than money—although that does help. And accomplices you can trust with your life. Surviving out there afterward? Without getting caught and sent right back?” She shook her head. “Time. And careful, precise planning.”
“All right, so I have no idea what I’m doing.
Obviously.” I propped my elbows on the table and buried my head in my hands.
“I’ve been lost without you. Adrift. Untethered .
I needed to find you and apologize, even if you didn’t remember me.
Call it foolish if you want, but I was desperate.
I figured the rest would work itself out. ”
Her shoulders shook with silent laughter. “While that’s incredibly touching, it’s not exactly helpful, my heart.”
I wanted to be angry with her; I really did. I tried, gods help me. But how much had I missed her cocky little grins? The arrogant cant of her head?
“Well?” I said at last. “You’re the high priestess. What do you, in your worldly wisdom, suggest?”
Leaning forward, she motioned for my hand. When I placed it in hers, she caressed it with the utmost tenderness, as if I were a precious artifact. A cherished, delicate thing.
Lifting it to her mouth, she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to my knuckles one by one. The impressions of her lush kisses burning on my skin, she turned my hand over to stroke my wrist and drop a lingering kiss on my palm.
Hazel eyes pinning me, she murmured, “I suggest you get any remaining notion we’re going to be together out of that beautiful, stubborn head of yours. Go back home and live your life without me, Lady Madoc.”
I was afraid of that . “Right. Well, I can’t go back.”
“Why not?”
I raised my chin, taking care to enunciate: "Because when I said I’d done something terrible, priestess, I was referring to the fact that I killed Illiam.”