Page 40 of Insolence (Eisha’s Hidden Codices #1)

“I’m incredibly happy to have met you , songbird,” she beams back, making my pulse erratic. “Despite the fact that you’re a handful sometimes.

Can’t argue that logic . I laugh. “Do you know anything about your life before? Were you married?” I ask, suddenly realizing that I’ve seen her every day for nearly a month and don’t know the answer.

“Right after the ritual, the sisters told me I was married. They never told me anything else, other than the fact that he died.”

“I was married too.” She fastens the end of my bandage at my forearm and begins packing away the med kit. “I haven’t the slightest idea whether he’s alive or dead. I’m assuming we were unhappy, which is why I came here in the first place.

“I don’t know if we had children, and I try not to think about it. Honestly, I’d rather remain ignorant. It’s… easier not knowing.” Med kit sorted, she picks up the used washcloths and deposits them with the rest of my dirty laundry.

We couldn’t be more different. I wish I didn’t want to know everything about who I used to be and why I supposedly came here. How much easier would things be if I could let my curiosity go?

She moves the washstand away from the bed and sits down next to me, close enough that our outer thighs brush.

Every inch of me is aware of the contact. “Thank you for saying that. About Elodie.”

Her arm slides around my waist. “As long as I can still claim you for myself, Itissa.” Her husky murmur sends excitement surging down my spine. Her gaze moves over my lips and throat before traveling lower.

The monster inside of me stirs from slumber. I press my eyes shut, trying to block it out. “What time is it?”

“There’s plenty of time before lights out.” She gives me a firm squeeze, eliciting a gasp that catches in my throat.

She rises to her feet and turns, crawling onto my bed. “Come on, lie down with me a moment.”

I allow myself to be pulled backward. Adjusting ourselves on the tiny bed, she waits for me to get settled before laying her head on my shoulder.

Her next words are wistful. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

“I was often lonely before you got here, even though I had a lot of acquaintances.” She toys with the ruffles on the front of my shirt.

“I can be a handful myself, and I know my sense of humor is a bit odd. Before the ceremony, I got the impression that the other girls had trouble relating to me at times. Other than Cordelia, I mean.”

“Sure,” I croak. Her soft body pressed against mine makes my heart leap. The place between my legs aches worse lying next to her than my brutalized arm ever could.

“We seem to fit each other so perfectly,” she sighs, sliding an arm carefully over me and pulling me close. “When I’m with you, I can be myself without worrying whether I’m saying or doing the wrong thing. Being around you has been easy from the start. Natural.”

The restless beast shifts behind my ribs. When my arms fold over her, I’m not the one controlling my limbs.

Gods, no. Not again. “It’s getting late.” I whisper into her hair. “Don’t you need to go to bed?”

“Mmm. Can’t I stay here with you?”

I have a dilemma.

As much as I want her, I can’t let this insatiable inner force rule my life.

“I—” I watch Sadrie lift her hand. Her fingers trail down my chest and tease across my belly, lighting little fires as they go.

The hungry animal paces inside of me, all bunched muscle and barely restrained tension.

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

“The only answer I know right now is the one I want you to give,” she purrs, tilting her head up to press a soft kiss to the side of my neck.

Toes curling, I suck air through my teeth as heat bubbles in my blood.

And that’s when I realize I’m probably dumping pheromones like a fiend. While her reaction to them isn’t quite as obvious as Elodie’s, they must be affecting her.

“I’m trying my hardest to stay out of trouble. It’s not that I don’t want you. I do , but…” My entire body pulses with longing. “I mean, look at me. My lack of discipline has caused so many problems.”

When Sadrie’s fingers skim my cheek, I shudder. Yearning weaves under my skin and oozes through my pores, so insistent it’s painful. My endless appetite feels impossible to shift or sway.

“Mmm, I am looking.” Her fingers are feather-light as she teases them across my lips and jaw.

I grab her hand. “I can’t do this right now.”

The next time we’re intimate, I want it to be because I decide it. Not because some inexplicable urge isn’t giving me a choice in the matter.

“You want me as much as I want you,” comes her raspy undertone. “Don’t deny it, Tiss. You’re shit at hiding it, in case you’re not aware.”

The monster prickles and growls. “I need you to stop, Sadrie. Please.” I can barely think through the voracious hunger splitting my mind as the thing rears up inside of me.

When her lips touch my cheek, close, so close to the corner of my mouth, fire lances low in my abdomen. I moan, letting her hand go.

The skin-to-skin contact and her hot breath feathering across my lips nearly undo me. The beast crouches, impatient and itching to pounce.

I hate this entity. This… this… fiend living inside of me that’s none of me while simultaneously being all of me. It’s powerful. Dangerous. It scares the shit out of me that it exists and baffles me that I can’t figure out how to feed it, much less banish it.

One thing I know for sure is that I can’t stave off the inevitable much longer. Whatever it is, this bewildering force is seconds away from erupting. I have no idea what will happen when it breaks free, but it can’t be good.

Nooo , hisses something cunning and consuming, hovering at the edges of my consciousness. It will be wonderful…

Sadrie hums an aimless tune. Heedless of my request, she moves to my chest, grazing my nipple through my shirt.

A fierce rumble emanates from deep in my chest, but I’m not the one growling.

She leans closer, her wandering hand landing on my jaw and clasping it firmly.

“Are you sure, songbird?” A roguish grin tugs at the corners of her mouth.

Leaning forward, her lips brush mine. “Because the way you’re looking at me, as if you can’t wait to devour me, says you want to do anything but stop. ”

The tip of her tongue strokes the seam where my lips meet. Gods help me, she’s right.

My need devours me. Obliterates me. A heartbeat later, fear and frustration no longer exist. Hesitancy and bewilderment evaporate, leaving pure desperation in their place.